Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Peaceful Silence...Silence Truly is Golden!
January 23, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today has been a really beautiful day. I decided last night as I went to bed that I was going to observe silence until chai time (4pm). I woke up and put the "Mostly Silent" sign around my neck and went out for breakfast. I then went back to my room and spent most of the day meditating, reading Awaken Children VIII and typing my blog.
I went out for lunch and it was really nice to see that people were really appreciating me and my efforts to be silent for the day. I had the Indian (free) food for lunch and retreated back to my room for more of the same.
At about 4pm I went out to get chai and came back to my room. Very thoughtfully and peacefully, I drank my chai and ate my coconut from yesterday. This was how I broke my silence. I started to speak with my roommates a little as they were both in the room for a good portion of the day today.
I think I will make a regular habit of observing silence even back home for portions of the day - like maybe first thing in the morning until lunch time or something. It's really nice!
I know that I will observe silence on January 29, 2010 when I have my birthstar Pujas scheduled. I did that last year when I was here and it was SUPER powerful!
Soon, I will go out for bhajans (in the Kali Temple even though it's women only - I will just sit upstairs quietly). I like the women's bhajans more than the men's. There seems to be more bhakti (devotion) and the acoustics in the Temple are better than in the Main Hall as the sound system has gone to Trivandrum with Amma so the sound quality in the Main Hall is not the same as when She is here.
This is exactly what I was hoping for - some quiet and internal exploration while Amma is away in Trivandrum. I was really craving some calm, quiet and inner reflection time.
I think I will observe silence again day after tomorrow. I don't want people to feel that I am unapproachable by doing it everyday here!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today has been a really beautiful day. I decided last night as I went to bed that I was going to observe silence until chai time (4pm). I woke up and put the "Mostly Silent" sign around my neck and went out for breakfast. I then went back to my room and spent most of the day meditating, reading Awaken Children VIII and typing my blog.
I went out for lunch and it was really nice to see that people were really appreciating me and my efforts to be silent for the day. I had the Indian (free) food for lunch and retreated back to my room for more of the same.
At about 4pm I went out to get chai and came back to my room. Very thoughtfully and peacefully, I drank my chai and ate my coconut from yesterday. This was how I broke my silence. I started to speak with my roommates a little as they were both in the room for a good portion of the day today.
I think I will make a regular habit of observing silence even back home for portions of the day - like maybe first thing in the morning until lunch time or something. It's really nice!
I know that I will observe silence on January 29, 2010 when I have my birthstar Pujas scheduled. I did that last year when I was here and it was SUPER powerful!
Soon, I will go out for bhajans (in the Kali Temple even though it's women only - I will just sit upstairs quietly). I like the women's bhajans more than the men's. There seems to be more bhakti (devotion) and the acoustics in the Temple are better than in the Main Hall as the sound system has gone to Trivandrum with Amma so the sound quality in the Main Hall is not the same as when She is here.
This is exactly what I was hoping for - some quiet and internal exploration while Amma is away in Trivandrum. I was really craving some calm, quiet and inner reflection time.
I think I will observe silence again day after tomorrow. I don't want people to feel that I am unapproachable by doing it everyday here!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Friday, January 22, 2010
Does Life Get Any Better???
January 21, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I went into Vallikavu today to pick up my gold pendant from the jeweller. I had 2 rings (22K gold) that I never wear and an amethyst bracelet that broke. I took these along with an enamel picture of Amma and had the jeweller make me a pendant out of these materials.
The outcome is so...amazingly gorgeous you can't even believe it. I got a really nice 22K gold necklace to wear it on as well and a bag of cashews to take up for Darshan today (before Amma leaves for Trivandrum).
I was one of the very last to go up for Darshan at about 5:30pm. I held the pendant and necklace in my right palm and Amma looked at it very intensely, placed Her finger on the picture and pushed the pendant into my palm forcefully. She then gave me Darshan and tightly squeezed me as She released me from Her embrace. She gave me the most beautiful smile and handed me my prasad and a small yellow banana. It was the sweetest banana I have ever eaten in my life and so totally satisfying!
I went back to my room at the end of Darshan and just basked in bliss that I had just experienced. Of course, I placed the necklace on right away and have not taken it off at all.
Amma is leaving for Trivandrum on Friday January 22, 2010 at some point. I have decided to stay at the Ashram and be in silence for awhile. I love the calmness and serenity of the Ashram when Amma is not here. When She is here at the Ashram, everyday is a festival and it gets a little exhausting.
The tour group left the Ashram at about 1:30pm and Amma followed in Her vehicle at about 5:00pm. The energy all day had already shifted before She left the compound. I was feeling even more bliss and calmness. I feel that I don't need to be around Her or in Her embrace all the time in order to be content and devoted to Her. This is a big lesson that takes time to internalize but I believe it is what She truly wants of Her devotees.
I will type more of my experiences of being in silence a little later. Amma is only gone from the Ashram over the weekend so it's only a few days of calm but that's good too!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I went into Vallikavu today to pick up my gold pendant from the jeweller. I had 2 rings (22K gold) that I never wear and an amethyst bracelet that broke. I took these along with an enamel picture of Amma and had the jeweller make me a pendant out of these materials.
The outcome is so...amazingly gorgeous you can't even believe it. I got a really nice 22K gold necklace to wear it on as well and a bag of cashews to take up for Darshan today (before Amma leaves for Trivandrum).
I was one of the very last to go up for Darshan at about 5:30pm. I held the pendant and necklace in my right palm and Amma looked at it very intensely, placed Her finger on the picture and pushed the pendant into my palm forcefully. She then gave me Darshan and tightly squeezed me as She released me from Her embrace. She gave me the most beautiful smile and handed me my prasad and a small yellow banana. It was the sweetest banana I have ever eaten in my life and so totally satisfying!
I went back to my room at the end of Darshan and just basked in bliss that I had just experienced. Of course, I placed the necklace on right away and have not taken it off at all.
Amma is leaving for Trivandrum on Friday January 22, 2010 at some point. I have decided to stay at the Ashram and be in silence for awhile. I love the calmness and serenity of the Ashram when Amma is not here. When She is here at the Ashram, everyday is a festival and it gets a little exhausting.
The tour group left the Ashram at about 1:30pm and Amma followed in Her vehicle at about 5:00pm. The energy all day had already shifted before She left the compound. I was feeling even more bliss and calmness. I feel that I don't need to be around Her or in Her embrace all the time in order to be content and devoted to Her. This is a big lesson that takes time to internalize but I believe it is what She truly wants of Her devotees.
I will type more of my experiences of being in silence a little later. Amma is only gone from the Ashram over the weekend so it's only a few days of calm but that's good too!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
The 69th Shankracharya Visits Amritapuri...
January 19, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I am realizing that I have not offered a recent entry at all since the South India Tour was cancelled and we all returned to the Ashram.
The next day, January 14th I went off to Varkalla Beach with a guy that I met here at the Ashram earlier named Robert. He is from New York. We went to Varkalla for two days. We returned on Friday evening in time for Bhajans.
Unfortunately, we did not know that the New Moon on Friday January 15, 2010 was a solar eclipse and that Amma's directive for that was for everyone to stay inside from 11:30am - 2:00pm, chant their mantras, vast and be in silence. We were doing exactly the opposite. We were on the beach under the sun as it was eclipsing. We had just eaten. I guess the only thing that we followed of that directive was to be silent as that is what we were most of the time while on the beach. We did not know this directive until we returned from Varkalla though. She apparently told people this on the beachside when She went out for meditation on the evening of January 14.
It was a fine time in Varkalla nonetheless. We had a little bit of a weird ending to the trip with Robert getting frustrated with me because I wanted to keep my bag with me on the back seat. There was still 3/4 of the back seat for him to sit on if he chose to but instead went to the front seat in a bit of a mood. We were silent the entire way home and then he avoided me for the duration of his stay here at the Ashram. He left without even saying a word. Oh well...I guess Amma was right (of course She was) in that negative things and energy would prevail if people did not follow Her directive for the solar eclipse!
While in Varkalla, I met a man in passing who is from Germany on our last day there. He said something very peculiar to me. He said that I have German history in my bloodline far back and that I should make peace with Kali and that would help with acceptance of my German history. This seemed very odd to me as both of my parents are Punjabi background. I am what you would call a "pure bred" Indian! These words have stayed with me and I have not been dwelling on them but every so often I think of these words again and wonder what the connection is with Kali. I LOVE Kali with all my heart. I don't know what kind of peace I would need to make with Her?!?!
Amma apparently started a Satsang on the beachside while we were in Varkalla which stretched out for a few days (She may still not be done with it). She posed a questions that we were all to contemplate:
Two men go for the same job. The first man answered 10/10 questions correctly. The second man answered 8/10 questions correctly. The second man got the job. Why? Was this due to effort, destiny, fate, grace, astrological influence, faith...
Amma took answers from devotees to this question for a couple more evenings on the beachside after meditation as well as the Q&A session on Tuesday January 19, 2010 in the Kali Temple after meditation. She did not answer any of the new questions on Tuesday.
She seemed to be pleased with many of the answers that people came up with. Mother has really been talking a lot lately about using our lives to serve others (Seva) not ourselves. This coupled with devotion (Bhakti) would surely result in positive outcomes.
Tuesday January 19, 2010 was a special day! After meditation, Q&A with Amma, Prasad Lunch and the few Darshans that She offered, I was told that the 69th Shankracharya from Kanchipuram, Tamil Nadu was coming to the Ashram and Amma has asked everyone to assemble in the Main Hall for a program.
Before I share about the Shankracharya, I have to share this story of going for my Prasad lunch. They made an announcement that people should just take the plate as soon as Amma has touched it and NOT wait for Her to physically hand it to you. As I approached, Amma had a plate with a smaller amount of food on it in Her right hand and I went to take it but Shelooked at me and quickly pulled it back toward Her body and the next plate with a MUCH larger serving was handed to me from Her left hand. I thought this was odd. Later that afternoon when I was entering the Kali Temple, the India Swamini who sits at the entrance of the Temple looked at me and said "you have thinned out...you were chunkier last time you were here...you have lost weight" I bent down and touched her feet and thanked her for the blessing! I then relayed to her the story of prasad lunch and she laughed. I said "I guess Amma wants me to gain weight too!"
Okay...now that I have you laughing and in a cheerful mood, the Shankracharya (for those who don't know who he is) is like the equivalent to the Pope in the Vedantic (Hindu) Community. Sri Jayendra Saraswati was an amazing gentle and beautiful soul. He arrived at the Ashram and had this smile that could light up the entire Universe. He spoke too all of the devotees under the Main Hall and Sw. Ramakrishnanada Puri translated from Tamil to English for all of us. Amma then had us sing the Mahishasura Mardini. It was really cute to watch both Amma and the Shankracharya on stage clapping and singing along with this Ayi Giri Nandini. He blessed us all and was on his way. Apparently, he tried to meet with Amma before here in Amritapuri but it didn't work out. It has been a long time coming for him to come to Amritapuri and meet with Amma. He offered his full support to Amma as he departed.
Amma sat and sang Bhajans right after the program with the Shankracharya. The energy of the entire compound was really, really intense the whole day...from the start with the meditation in the Kali Temple to the end of evening Bhajans I was flying high. Who needs drugs or alcohol or other intoxicants when you can be intoxicated with the Love for the Divine?!?!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I am realizing that I have not offered a recent entry at all since the South India Tour was cancelled and we all returned to the Ashram.
The next day, January 14th I went off to Varkalla Beach with a guy that I met here at the Ashram earlier named Robert. He is from New York. We went to Varkalla for two days. We returned on Friday evening in time for Bhajans.
Unfortunately, we did not know that the New Moon on Friday January 15, 2010 was a solar eclipse and that Amma's directive for that was for everyone to stay inside from 11:30am - 2:00pm, chant their mantras, vast and be in silence. We were doing exactly the opposite. We were on the beach under the sun as it was eclipsing. We had just eaten. I guess the only thing that we followed of that directive was to be silent as that is what we were most of the time while on the beach. We did not know this directive until we returned from Varkalla though. She apparently told people this on the beachside when She went out for meditation on the evening of January 14.
It was a fine time in Varkalla nonetheless. We had a little bit of a weird ending to the trip with Robert getting frustrated with me because I wanted to keep my bag with me on the back seat. There was still 3/4 of the back seat for him to sit on if he chose to but instead went to the front seat in a bit of a mood. We were silent the entire way home and then he avoided me for the duration of his stay here at the Ashram. He left without even saying a word. Oh well...I guess Amma was right (of course She was) in that negative things and energy would prevail if people did not follow Her directive for the solar eclipse!
While in Varkalla, I met a man in passing who is from Germany on our last day there. He said something very peculiar to me. He said that I have German history in my bloodline far back and that I should make peace with Kali and that would help with acceptance of my German history. This seemed very odd to me as both of my parents are Punjabi background. I am what you would call a "pure bred" Indian! These words have stayed with me and I have not been dwelling on them but every so often I think of these words again and wonder what the connection is with Kali. I LOVE Kali with all my heart. I don't know what kind of peace I would need to make with Her?!?!
Amma apparently started a Satsang on the beachside while we were in Varkalla which stretched out for a few days (She may still not be done with it). She posed a questions that we were all to contemplate:
Two men go for the same job. The first man answered 10/10 questions correctly. The second man answered 8/10 questions correctly. The second man got the job. Why? Was this due to effort, destiny, fate, grace, astrological influence, faith...
Amma took answers from devotees to this question for a couple more evenings on the beachside after meditation as well as the Q&A session on Tuesday January 19, 2010 in the Kali Temple after meditation. She did not answer any of the new questions on Tuesday.
She seemed to be pleased with many of the answers that people came up with. Mother has really been talking a lot lately about using our lives to serve others (Seva) not ourselves. This coupled with devotion (Bhakti) would surely result in positive outcomes.
Tuesday January 19, 2010 was a special day! After meditation, Q&A with Amma, Prasad Lunch and the few Darshans that She offered, I was told that the 69th Shankracharya from Kanchipuram, Tamil Nadu was coming to the Ashram and Amma has asked everyone to assemble in the Main Hall for a program.
Before I share about the Shankracharya, I have to share this story of going for my Prasad lunch. They made an announcement that people should just take the plate as soon as Amma has touched it and NOT wait for Her to physically hand it to you. As I approached, Amma had a plate with a smaller amount of food on it in Her right hand and I went to take it but Shelooked at me and quickly pulled it back toward Her body and the next plate with a MUCH larger serving was handed to me from Her left hand. I thought this was odd. Later that afternoon when I was entering the Kali Temple, the India Swamini who sits at the entrance of the Temple looked at me and said "you have thinned out...you were chunkier last time you were here...you have lost weight" I bent down and touched her feet and thanked her for the blessing! I then relayed to her the story of prasad lunch and she laughed. I said "I guess Amma wants me to gain weight too!"
Okay...now that I have you laughing and in a cheerful mood, the Shankracharya (for those who don't know who he is) is like the equivalent to the Pope in the Vedantic (Hindu) Community. Sri Jayendra Saraswati was an amazing gentle and beautiful soul. He arrived at the Ashram and had this smile that could light up the entire Universe. He spoke too all of the devotees under the Main Hall and Sw. Ramakrishnanada Puri translated from Tamil to English for all of us. Amma then had us sing the Mahishasura Mardini. It was really cute to watch both Amma and the Shankracharya on stage clapping and singing along with this Ayi Giri Nandini. He blessed us all and was on his way. Apparently, he tried to meet with Amma before here in Amritapuri but it didn't work out. It has been a long time coming for him to come to Amritapuri and meet with Amma. He offered his full support to Amma as he departed.
Amma sat and sang Bhajans right after the program with the Shankracharya. The energy of the entire compound was really, really intense the whole day...from the start with the meditation in the Kali Temple to the end of evening Bhajans I was flying high. Who needs drugs or alcohol or other intoxicants when you can be intoxicated with the Love for the Divine?!?!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Time Stands Still While Waiting To Get Back To The Mother Ashram...
January 12, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today we leave the Program Site in Coimbatore headed back to Amritapuri. No one knows why the South India Tour has been cancelled but there are many theories and rumours.
We left the site at about 12:30pm and arrived at the University at about 1:30pm. We chanted the 108 Names and the 1,000 Names on that bus ride and completed them in just enough time to arrive at the University.
We as humans are such creatures of habit as we all started walking toward the swimming pool which is where we all hung out and drank our chai on our way to the Program. Instead, we were quickly ushered out of that area and into a palm jungle where we were to be served lunch. Everyone thought that Amma was going to be there to serve us so the tribe quickly moved through the jungle to find no one other than the food trucks setting up.
We were served lunch and ate in the jungle area. As soon as we were all finished eating again the tribe started to make their way (very quickly) back to the swimming pool as though Amma had arrived there. We got to the swimming pool at the University which is an Olympic size swimming pool to find no one there.
People started changing into their swim wear and jumping into the pool. Okay...not a great idea since they had all just filled their stomaches with rice, potatoes and daal. Interestingly enough, it was only the Westerners that were in the pool. Not a single one Indian was in the pool. I was later told that the Indian are afraid of the water and don't know how to swim.
I was very tempted to go in as well, but did not have the proper swim wear with me. I don't know why, but I didn't think to bring swim wear this time with me to India. For men, long shorts (just above the knee) is the only real appropriate thing to wear in the water. I don't even own a pair of those kind of swimming trunks to be honest. For woman, there is a swim dress that they must wear which covers them from shoulders to ankles. Many of the woman even wear their sari blouses under the two wide shoulder straps of this hideous dress.
Time seemed to pass ultra slowly. Now that we were going back to Amritapuri, I was fine with this decision of Amma's but I wanted to get a move on. This sitting around in the sun waiting for something to happen was really driving me nuts. Thank God for Vivek and Pranada who were on my bus and connected with me earlier in the morning as we were waiting at the Program site to leave, I had some company and some people to chat with. This eased the slow move clock for me.
Rumour had it that Amma was going to arrive at 5:30pm at the pool and we would have some time with Her then.
Vivek, Pranada and I were discussing how people (especially the Indian Brahmacharinis) run to get the best possible seats and closest to Amma. I was sharing how I am kind of over that. I feel Amma in my heart and She is often talking about just that - how we need to see Her everywhere and not be so attached to Her physical body. Vivek was good at pushing to find out how I do that since it is also good to be attached to the Guru's Form. I explained that when I chant my mantra or do the 108 Names or sing bhajans, I feel Her in my heart. Often at Satsangs, I have my eyes closed not even looking at the alter while singing bhajans and I go within to seek refuge in Her who rest within my soul.
Finally Amma arrived at 5:30pm and She gave a bit of a Satsang about the same very issue. There was a devotee who is constantly fighting to get to the very front and sit right in front of Amma and she is successful most every time. Amma inquired why it is that she does this. At first, the woman responded by saying that where she comes from no one runs after things but when she came to the Ashram, she saw everyone running after Amma to be as close to Her as possible and thought that this was somehow a measure of the level of devotion one has for Amma. In fact, the woman admitted that she does not find that much peace sitting so close to Amma, rather when she sits a distance away she finds more peace and tranquility.
Amma said that there are many others who wish to have a chance to sit close to Amma as well. The woman started crying and disclosed that she is actually very depressed and unable to function in the real world and this is why she tries to sit as close to Amma as possible, with the hopes that she will start to heal over time. To this Amma said that if she was fighting to sit near to be healed then there is no problem.
There were other stories and jokes told and Amma laughed a lot. Amma practised some of the new Tamil 2010 Bhajans. She sat with us until about 8:30pm and then we had dinner there and got back on the road headed for the Ashram at 9:00pm.
At about 2:30am the A/C bus broke down and we were all woken up out of sleep and told that the Ashram was sending another bus to fetch us and take us the rest of the way. OMG...this was like the last straw for me. I started praying really hard and chanting my mantra really hard to get this bus going. I just wanted to be back already. Somehow, the bus started working again and we were on our way. We arrived at the Ashram just in time for Archana 4:30am. I went straight to my bed.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today we leave the Program Site in Coimbatore headed back to Amritapuri. No one knows why the South India Tour has been cancelled but there are many theories and rumours.
We left the site at about 12:30pm and arrived at the University at about 1:30pm. We chanted the 108 Names and the 1,000 Names on that bus ride and completed them in just enough time to arrive at the University.
We as humans are such creatures of habit as we all started walking toward the swimming pool which is where we all hung out and drank our chai on our way to the Program. Instead, we were quickly ushered out of that area and into a palm jungle where we were to be served lunch. Everyone thought that Amma was going to be there to serve us so the tribe quickly moved through the jungle to find no one other than the food trucks setting up.
We were served lunch and ate in the jungle area. As soon as we were all finished eating again the tribe started to make their way (very quickly) back to the swimming pool as though Amma had arrived there. We got to the swimming pool at the University which is an Olympic size swimming pool to find no one there.
People started changing into their swim wear and jumping into the pool. Okay...not a great idea since they had all just filled their stomaches with rice, potatoes and daal. Interestingly enough, it was only the Westerners that were in the pool. Not a single one Indian was in the pool. I was later told that the Indian are afraid of the water and don't know how to swim.
I was very tempted to go in as well, but did not have the proper swim wear with me. I don't know why, but I didn't think to bring swim wear this time with me to India. For men, long shorts (just above the knee) is the only real appropriate thing to wear in the water. I don't even own a pair of those kind of swimming trunks to be honest. For woman, there is a swim dress that they must wear which covers them from shoulders to ankles. Many of the woman even wear their sari blouses under the two wide shoulder straps of this hideous dress.
Time seemed to pass ultra slowly. Now that we were going back to Amritapuri, I was fine with this decision of Amma's but I wanted to get a move on. This sitting around in the sun waiting for something to happen was really driving me nuts. Thank God for Vivek and Pranada who were on my bus and connected with me earlier in the morning as we were waiting at the Program site to leave, I had some company and some people to chat with. This eased the slow move clock for me.
Rumour had it that Amma was going to arrive at 5:30pm at the pool and we would have some time with Her then.
Vivek, Pranada and I were discussing how people (especially the Indian Brahmacharinis) run to get the best possible seats and closest to Amma. I was sharing how I am kind of over that. I feel Amma in my heart and She is often talking about just that - how we need to see Her everywhere and not be so attached to Her physical body. Vivek was good at pushing to find out how I do that since it is also good to be attached to the Guru's Form. I explained that when I chant my mantra or do the 108 Names or sing bhajans, I feel Her in my heart. Often at Satsangs, I have my eyes closed not even looking at the alter while singing bhajans and I go within to seek refuge in Her who rest within my soul.
Finally Amma arrived at 5:30pm and She gave a bit of a Satsang about the same very issue. There was a devotee who is constantly fighting to get to the very front and sit right in front of Amma and she is successful most every time. Amma inquired why it is that she does this. At first, the woman responded by saying that where she comes from no one runs after things but when she came to the Ashram, she saw everyone running after Amma to be as close to Her as possible and thought that this was somehow a measure of the level of devotion one has for Amma. In fact, the woman admitted that she does not find that much peace sitting so close to Amma, rather when she sits a distance away she finds more peace and tranquility.
Amma said that there are many others who wish to have a chance to sit close to Amma as well. The woman started crying and disclosed that she is actually very depressed and unable to function in the real world and this is why she tries to sit as close to Amma as possible, with the hopes that she will start to heal over time. To this Amma said that if she was fighting to sit near to be healed then there is no problem.
There were other stories and jokes told and Amma laughed a lot. Amma practised some of the new Tamil 2010 Bhajans. She sat with us until about 8:30pm and then we had dinner there and got back on the road headed for the Ashram at 9:00pm.
At about 2:30am the A/C bus broke down and we were all woken up out of sleep and told that the Ashram was sending another bus to fetch us and take us the rest of the way. OMG...this was like the last straw for me. I started praying really hard and chanting my mantra really hard to get this bus going. I just wanted to be back already. Somehow, the bus started working again and we were on our way. We arrived at the Ashram just in time for Archana 4:30am. I went straight to my bed.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Odd Turn of Events - Only Amma Knows Best...
January 11, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Well...today has been an interesting day thusfar. I did not get up in time for the Rahu Puja and I was okay with that as I figured there are 2 other Brahmastanam Temple Festivals on this South India Tour. I got up and got myself dressed up just in time for Amma's arrival. I sat through Bhajans and once She began to give Satsang in Malayalam (which was translated to Tamil by Swami Ramakrishna Puri) I went into my room and started working more on the project that Bhavani and Sarala have me working on. My door was open so that I could still here all of the Satsang vibration since my room is right at the start of the ramp that Amma takes to go down to the stage.
No sooner did I get connected to the internet to start working and the Amritapuri Ashram on Facebook had a status that read:
I am enjoying working on this project that Bhavani and Sarala have me working on. It's a lot of fun and I am learning to expand my mind in ways that I had never considered before.
I have a prasad rolling shift at 3pm today for an hour and then I am meant to do running from 11pm to 12:30am. I am looking forward to these opportunities to be close to Mother. I have not been up on stage at all as yet. All with the anticipation that there are many other stops on this tour so there will be ample of opportunity.
I will definitely do the Saturn Puja this evening for my parents - I think. I feel that they could really use that energy more than I can right now.
More to come soon.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Well...today has been an interesting day thusfar. I did not get up in time for the Rahu Puja and I was okay with that as I figured there are 2 other Brahmastanam Temple Festivals on this South India Tour. I got up and got myself dressed up just in time for Amma's arrival. I sat through Bhajans and once She began to give Satsang in Malayalam (which was translated to Tamil by Swami Ramakrishna Puri) I went into my room and started working more on the project that Bhavani and Sarala have me working on. My door was open so that I could still here all of the Satsang vibration since my room is right at the start of the ramp that Amma takes to go down to the stage.
No sooner did I get connected to the internet to start working and the Amritapuri Ashram on Facebook had a status that read:
Amma programs postponed: The remainder of Amma’s South India (from Chennai) programs after Coimbatore are postponed...
I am getting so many messages from people on Facebook and others to find out what is going on. Since Satsang was still going on, there was no way to find out. The Western Office was closed. It has been confirmed that we are all returning to Amritapuri after the programs tomorrow. No one knows why yet. We are all sitting on pins and needles wondering what has happened. Of course, Amma knows ALL and I am sure that there is a very good reason why She would have to postpone programs in these other cities where Her children have been awaiting Her arrival with baited breath.I am enjoying working on this project that Bhavani and Sarala have me working on. It's a lot of fun and I am learning to expand my mind in ways that I had never considered before.
I have a prasad rolling shift at 3pm today for an hour and then I am meant to do running from 11pm to 12:30am. I am looking forward to these opportunities to be close to Mother. I have not been up on stage at all as yet. All with the anticipation that there are many other stops on this tour so there will be ample of opportunity.
I will definitely do the Saturn Puja this evening for my parents - I think. I feel that they could really use that energy more than I can right now.
More to come soon.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Sunday, January 10, 2010
First Full Day of Programs in Coimbatore, Tamilnadu
January 10, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
First day of programs in Coimbatore...what a busy place. Watching Mother give Darshan here on Indian Tours really reminds me how good we have it in the US when Amma comes and offers Darshan there. People are being given all of a second or two at the most in Her arms and their prasad is being passed down the exit line to be handed to them (hopefully) at the middle or end of that exit line. What chaos!
I am having a great time despite the chaos. I am being reminded ALL the time of the gifts that Amma bestows on Her Western children. She keeps us very close to Her here in India and when She is in the West, She keeps Her Indian children close. Just being in Her presence here in India is Darshan enough. I don't know why there is a sense of entitlement when we get into the West. I do not have that experience while touring with Her here. Maybe this is a direct indication that I am growing and realizing that Amma is within me and therefore I am less "needy" for Her attention and to be in Her physical embrace as She is in my heart?!?!
I have been working on a special project with Bhavani Chechi and Sarala. Today has been a productive day in that regard! It's quite a huge project and one that has a lot of potential as well.
I got myself a mosquito net to take on the rest of tour with me since I was eaten alive last night by the mosquitos and as a result did not sleep well at all. I am really appreciative of David (my roommate at the Ashram from when I was here in February 2009). He accompanied me into the City to get the net and rope. We even had dinner at the Pearl Vegetarian Restaurant in Coimbatore. It was very good food and we got back in time for Bhajans.
After Bhajans, I had my first seva shift of serving the Western food. I like this seva but the Supervisor of this area is very disorganized so people were waiting to be served as we were not properly set up in time. She even got scolded by Jani.
I am now really ready for bed. Mother is giving Darshan right outside my room. The Bhajans are going on and I am very sleepy.
Will type more soon - I am sure.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
First day of programs in Coimbatore...what a busy place. Watching Mother give Darshan here on Indian Tours really reminds me how good we have it in the US when Amma comes and offers Darshan there. People are being given all of a second or two at the most in Her arms and their prasad is being passed down the exit line to be handed to them (hopefully) at the middle or end of that exit line. What chaos!
I am having a great time despite the chaos. I am being reminded ALL the time of the gifts that Amma bestows on Her Western children. She keeps us very close to Her here in India and when She is in the West, She keeps Her Indian children close. Just being in Her presence here in India is Darshan enough. I don't know why there is a sense of entitlement when we get into the West. I do not have that experience while touring with Her here. Maybe this is a direct indication that I am growing and realizing that Amma is within me and therefore I am less "needy" for Her attention and to be in Her physical embrace as She is in my heart?!?!
I have been working on a special project with Bhavani Chechi and Sarala. Today has been a productive day in that regard! It's quite a huge project and one that has a lot of potential as well.
I got myself a mosquito net to take on the rest of tour with me since I was eaten alive last night by the mosquitos and as a result did not sleep well at all. I am really appreciative of David (my roommate at the Ashram from when I was here in February 2009). He accompanied me into the City to get the net and rope. We even had dinner at the Pearl Vegetarian Restaurant in Coimbatore. It was very good food and we got back in time for Bhajans.
After Bhajans, I had my first seva shift of serving the Western food. I like this seva but the Supervisor of this area is very disorganized so people were waiting to be served as we were not properly set up in time. She even got scolded by Jani.
I am now really ready for bed. Mother is giving Darshan right outside my room. The Bhajans are going on and I am very sleepy.
Will type more soon - I am sure.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
South India Tour Begins in Coimbatore...
January 9, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today is when I say goodbye to Jim for about a month. We all left the Ashram this morning at about 8:30am to begin the South India Tour. Jim leaves the Ashram on Monday so I won't see him now until we join up in Portland, OR on February 10, 2010 to go to the Breitenbush Faerie Winter Gathering. It was kind of weird to say goodbye to him and have him walk me over the bridge to the village of Vallikavu to catch the bus this morning. A certain sadness came upon me. I knew full well that touring is NOT Jim's thing at all, but I LOVE it!
We were scheduled to leave at 8am and actually departed at 8:30am. This is remarkable for India. We stopped in Kochin for lunch and took a tour of the AIMS Hospital. It's really beautiful and there is much history in that place. Apparently, that whole area was swamp land that Amma bought to build this hospital. She built this hospital in response to all the concerns and complaints that She would hear from people when they came to Her for Darshan. People telling Her how there was nowhere for them to go to get medical attention that they so desperately needed. She bought a hill of mud a little ways from the swamp land (where AIMS now rests) and had that mud brought over to create the land and foundation of this small city we now call the AIMS Hospital. It is truly a little city. It's about 3 times the size (possibly more) of the Ashram in Amritapuri. There is the Hospital itself which, if seen from an arial view is shaped like a lotus flower. Six petals - six buildings, each having its own specialty medicine practise. Then there is a medical college, dental college, residential buildings for both the students and the bystandards. In India, there is a rule that all in-patients must have a bystandard with tthem in their room around the clock. The 20 minute (very fast) tour of AIMS was very enjoyable and informative.
We got back in the bus and made our way to Coimbatore. The only stop that we made was at the Amma University for chai. Then we made our way further to the Program site - the Brahmastanam Temple.
On the last leg of the trip (from the University to the Program site, we chanted the 108 Names of Amma, the Stotram (abbreviated version of the 1,000 Names of Devi), the Mahishasuramardini and then some bhajans. It was really fun!
We have not seen Amma at all today. I guess we will all see Amma tomorrow at the same time as everyone else.
Anticipation is rising as is the excitement of being on tour...the mosquitos are out in full force too. I really wish I had a mosquito net.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today is when I say goodbye to Jim for about a month. We all left the Ashram this morning at about 8:30am to begin the South India Tour. Jim leaves the Ashram on Monday so I won't see him now until we join up in Portland, OR on February 10, 2010 to go to the Breitenbush Faerie Winter Gathering. It was kind of weird to say goodbye to him and have him walk me over the bridge to the village of Vallikavu to catch the bus this morning. A certain sadness came upon me. I knew full well that touring is NOT Jim's thing at all, but I LOVE it!
We were scheduled to leave at 8am and actually departed at 8:30am. This is remarkable for India. We stopped in Kochin for lunch and took a tour of the AIMS Hospital. It's really beautiful and there is much history in that place. Apparently, that whole area was swamp land that Amma bought to build this hospital. She built this hospital in response to all the concerns and complaints that She would hear from people when they came to Her for Darshan. People telling Her how there was nowhere for them to go to get medical attention that they so desperately needed. She bought a hill of mud a little ways from the swamp land (where AIMS now rests) and had that mud brought over to create the land and foundation of this small city we now call the AIMS Hospital. It is truly a little city. It's about 3 times the size (possibly more) of the Ashram in Amritapuri. There is the Hospital itself which, if seen from an arial view is shaped like a lotus flower. Six petals - six buildings, each having its own specialty medicine practise. Then there is a medical college, dental college, residential buildings for both the students and the bystandards. In India, there is a rule that all in-patients must have a bystandard with tthem in their room around the clock. The 20 minute (very fast) tour of AIMS was very enjoyable and informative.
We got back in the bus and made our way to Coimbatore. The only stop that we made was at the Amma University for chai. Then we made our way further to the Program site - the Brahmastanam Temple.
On the last leg of the trip (from the University to the Program site, we chanted the 108 Names of Amma, the Stotram (abbreviated version of the 1,000 Names of Devi), the Mahishasuramardini and then some bhajans. It was really fun!
We have not seen Amma at all today. I guess we will all see Amma tomorrow at the same time as everyone else.
Anticipation is rising as is the excitement of being on tour...the mosquitos are out in full force too. I really wish I had a mosquito net.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Birthday Darshan is so.....sweet!!!
January 6, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I have had a really nice day. It started out with sitting in the dining hall with the leftover cookies and brownies and offering them to those who did not come yesterday to the party due to various things like seva commitments etc.
Then, I ate my breakfast (idly and sambar) - Yummy!!! Then, I hung out for a bit in the dining hall with Luciole and made my way up to the stage for Amma's arrival at about 10:30am. It was so sweet to watch Her arrive on stage and start the Darshans today.
I got my Darshan token and so did Jim so we will be going up together this time as a couple. I had a very relaxing day all in all. I went to the Tour Orientation after lunch and got my tour staff bracelet so I feel all official and all....AND...(as Jim would say with lots of gusto), the bracelet is purple so it goes with my look and wardrobe.
After Orientation, I went back to the room and created a little necklace and bracelets for my *new* Amma Doll that is going to be blessed this evening when I go up for Darshan. She looks so...cute!
Jim and I got in the line for Darshan and my Darshan was really, REALLY sweet. I went up with the two tiffins - one with candied coconut pieces and one with roasted cashews. I said to Amma that yesterday was my birthday and She smiled and ate two pieces of the candied coconut and fed me a piece of it too. Then I placed a pearl necklace around Her neck and reached behind me for my Amma Doll as Jim was holding it for me. I held it up to Amma in my cradled arm and with such care and attention, Amma placed sandalwood paste on the forehead of the Doll and charged it with Her shakti. She handed me some prasad (vibuthi and rock candy). She then took me to Her bossom while I held the Doll in my other hand and stared at it with tears in my eyes. She started saying the blessings in my ear in Punjabi and then all of a sudden, stopped and put me on Her other bossom and pulled Jim in. She must have caught Jim from the corner of Her eye. We did not expect that in India She would give us Darshan together, but there She was doing just that! Jim came forward and placed a garland over Her head and She took him into Her bossom and blessed us together. It was so...very sweet. As I started to move away, She reached out and handed me a second prasad (vibuthi package and rock candy).
Now, Amma didn't shower me with flowers or hand me an apple, but that's probably because She knows that I am not a fan of apples. I kinda miss the flower shower but nonetheless, I am so blessed and lucky to have had the Divine Mother Herself feed me with Her own hands on my birthday. Now how many people can say that?!?!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I have had a really nice day. It started out with sitting in the dining hall with the leftover cookies and brownies and offering them to those who did not come yesterday to the party due to various things like seva commitments etc.
Then, I ate my breakfast (idly and sambar) - Yummy!!! Then, I hung out for a bit in the dining hall with Luciole and made my way up to the stage for Amma's arrival at about 10:30am. It was so sweet to watch Her arrive on stage and start the Darshans today.
I got my Darshan token and so did Jim so we will be going up together this time as a couple. I had a very relaxing day all in all. I went to the Tour Orientation after lunch and got my tour staff bracelet so I feel all official and all....AND...(as Jim would say with lots of gusto), the bracelet is purple so it goes with my look and wardrobe.
After Orientation, I went back to the room and created a little necklace and bracelets for my *new* Amma Doll that is going to be blessed this evening when I go up for Darshan. She looks so...cute!
Jim and I got in the line for Darshan and my Darshan was really, REALLY sweet. I went up with the two tiffins - one with candied coconut pieces and one with roasted cashews. I said to Amma that yesterday was my birthday and She smiled and ate two pieces of the candied coconut and fed me a piece of it too. Then I placed a pearl necklace around Her neck and reached behind me for my Amma Doll as Jim was holding it for me. I held it up to Amma in my cradled arm and with such care and attention, Amma placed sandalwood paste on the forehead of the Doll and charged it with Her shakti. She handed me some prasad (vibuthi and rock candy). She then took me to Her bossom while I held the Doll in my other hand and stared at it with tears in my eyes. She started saying the blessings in my ear in Punjabi and then all of a sudden, stopped and put me on Her other bossom and pulled Jim in. She must have caught Jim from the corner of Her eye. We did not expect that in India She would give us Darshan together, but there She was doing just that! Jim came forward and placed a garland over Her head and She took him into Her bossom and blessed us together. It was so...very sweet. As I started to move away, She reached out and handed me a second prasad (vibuthi package and rock candy).
Now, Amma didn't shower me with flowers or hand me an apple, but that's probably because She knows that I am not a fan of apples. I kinda miss the flower shower but nonetheless, I am so blessed and lucky to have had the Divine Mother Herself feed me with Her own hands on my birthday. Now how many people can say that?!?!
My Birthday!!!
January 5, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
OMG....I am so....excited today is my Birthday - my 33rd Birthday! It's Tuesday and it's my favourite day at the Ashram. It's meditation day and Q&A day and we get prasad lunch.
I set my asana down in the Kali Temple (as usual) before breakfast so that I could have a good spot. Had breakfast and went into the Temple to meditate. I was contemplating going for Darshan today even though it's not a regular Darshan day. Since it's my birthday I am allowed to go, but Mother was not feeling well. There were a lot of questions on the clipboard for Her to answer, but She came down and read through them all while the Bhakti Achan (devotion brother) spoke (as he usually does at Amma's request. In his talk, he relayed something that Amma said in Zurich in a Conference of Spiritual Dignitaries. These words really touched my heart. "We need to live for others, not ourselves."
I saw that Amma did not answer a single question. She was coughing and obviously not feeling that good. After watching this and seeing that She only sang one bhajan with some man in front of Her (whom it appeared She was mentoring in singing this bhajan) and then She served lunch, I decided that I would wait until tomorrow to go for Darshan as it would still be my birthday in Canada and I don't want to be selfish - I want to live my life for others, not myself.
After lunch, I went over the waters into Vallikavu to the bank machine to get money so that I could pay for my medium sized doll that I ordered (special) so that I can take Her on tour with me. When I got back to the Ashram, I quickly went up to the Doll Shop to get the doll, which is totally beautiful and went to the dining hall for my birthday party at 4:00pm.
There was a really great turn out of people. I was a little late for my own party (fashionably late) and there were a whole lot of people that were already there waiting for me. Brahmananda brought out the cookies (cashew cardamom butter cookies) and the fudge brownies with a candle on it! I was sung to in two languages - English and French (thanks to Luciole). It was also Prana's birthday so we called her over to celebrate with me. It was so much fun! I was blessed to feed Ram (the elephant) when I took some treats over to Gireesh Swami. Instead of Gireesh Swami eating the treats, Ram ate them.
After the party, I had so many brownies and cookies left over that I started walking around and met this really beautiful man named Rober Gerber from New York. I offered him a cookie and brownie and we landed up making a very sweet connection.
After taking the treats back to the room, I went and put down our asanas in the Kalari so that we would have a good place to sit for the Special Kali Puja.
Then I went to the beach to watch the last bit of the sunset. The Kali Puja was really amazing. Robert joined Jim and I for that and we were all blown away. The energy and vibration was so high!!!
We were concerned that we wouldn't have anything to eat since the food lines would be closed by the time we were out of the Kalari and we were all really hungry. The Western Cafe was still open and we just got in under the wire.
After eating, Robert and I were just sitting in the dining hall chatting while Jim was washing his dishes when Amma came down and went up on stage (behind closed doors) to record the 2010 bhajans as we are about to go on South India Tour. This too, was a blessing to have a glimpse of Her just before bed.
Tomorrow is regular Darshan day and I am anticipating my Birthday Darshan...sweet dreams of flower shower and apples.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
OMG....I am so....excited today is my Birthday - my 33rd Birthday! It's Tuesday and it's my favourite day at the Ashram. It's meditation day and Q&A day and we get prasad lunch.
I set my asana down in the Kali Temple (as usual) before breakfast so that I could have a good spot. Had breakfast and went into the Temple to meditate. I was contemplating going for Darshan today even though it's not a regular Darshan day. Since it's my birthday I am allowed to go, but Mother was not feeling well. There were a lot of questions on the clipboard for Her to answer, but She came down and read through them all while the Bhakti Achan (devotion brother) spoke (as he usually does at Amma's request. In his talk, he relayed something that Amma said in Zurich in a Conference of Spiritual Dignitaries. These words really touched my heart. "We need to live for others, not ourselves."
I saw that Amma did not answer a single question. She was coughing and obviously not feeling that good. After watching this and seeing that She only sang one bhajan with some man in front of Her (whom it appeared She was mentoring in singing this bhajan) and then She served lunch, I decided that I would wait until tomorrow to go for Darshan as it would still be my birthday in Canada and I don't want to be selfish - I want to live my life for others, not myself.
After lunch, I went over the waters into Vallikavu to the bank machine to get money so that I could pay for my medium sized doll that I ordered (special) so that I can take Her on tour with me. When I got back to the Ashram, I quickly went up to the Doll Shop to get the doll, which is totally beautiful and went to the dining hall for my birthday party at 4:00pm.
There was a really great turn out of people. I was a little late for my own party (fashionably late) and there were a whole lot of people that were already there waiting for me. Brahmananda brought out the cookies (cashew cardamom butter cookies) and the fudge brownies with a candle on it! I was sung to in two languages - English and French (thanks to Luciole). It was also Prana's birthday so we called her over to celebrate with me. It was so much fun! I was blessed to feed Ram (the elephant) when I took some treats over to Gireesh Swami. Instead of Gireesh Swami eating the treats, Ram ate them.
After the party, I had so many brownies and cookies left over that I started walking around and met this really beautiful man named Rober Gerber from New York. I offered him a cookie and brownie and we landed up making a very sweet connection.
After taking the treats back to the room, I went and put down our asanas in the Kalari so that we would have a good place to sit for the Special Kali Puja.
Then I went to the beach to watch the last bit of the sunset. The Kali Puja was really amazing. Robert joined Jim and I for that and we were all blown away. The energy and vibration was so high!!!
We were concerned that we wouldn't have anything to eat since the food lines would be closed by the time we were out of the Kalari and we were all really hungry. The Western Cafe was still open and we just got in under the wire.
After eating, Robert and I were just sitting in the dining hall chatting while Jim was washing his dishes when Amma came down and went up on stage (behind closed doors) to record the 2010 bhajans as we are about to go on South India Tour. This too, was a blessing to have a glimpse of Her just before bed.
Tomorrow is regular Darshan day and I am anticipating my Birthday Darshan...sweet dreams of flower shower and apples.
January 2, 2010 - Varkalla Beach...
January 2, 2010
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today Phillipe, Jason, Jim and I are leaving the Ashram for a couple of days to explore Varkalla Beach. I want to make sure that Jim gets to see more than just the Ashram while here in South India for the first time.
We left the Ashram at about 2:00pm (after lunch). Even the ride to Varkalla was an interesting experience. Since we rode the taxi from Kochin in the middle of the night/morning there was not a lot to be seen but this time it was the middle of the day and Jim could get a true sense of the chaos that exists on the streets of India. It is truly a skill to drive in India.
We got Varkalla by about 4:00 pm just in time to watch the sunset. We checked into a very quaint cottage and we all shared this cottage together. After checking in, we promptly went to the Cafe Del Mar to fill our stomaches as we were all very hungry by the time we arrived in Varkalla.
The two and a half days spent at the beach were fun for most. Jim got really sick as we were leaving the Ashram and then was fine again as we returned to the Ashram. He said to me "I think Amma didn't like the idea of me leaving the Ashram..."
I did a lot of small shopping for Jim and friends back home. I love bargaining on the Varkalla Cliff!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today Phillipe, Jason, Jim and I are leaving the Ashram for a couple of days to explore Varkalla Beach. I want to make sure that Jim gets to see more than just the Ashram while here in South India for the first time.
We left the Ashram at about 2:00pm (after lunch). Even the ride to Varkalla was an interesting experience. Since we rode the taxi from Kochin in the middle of the night/morning there was not a lot to be seen but this time it was the middle of the day and Jim could get a true sense of the chaos that exists on the streets of India. It is truly a skill to drive in India.
We got Varkalla by about 4:00 pm just in time to watch the sunset. We checked into a very quaint cottage and we all shared this cottage together. After checking in, we promptly went to the Cafe Del Mar to fill our stomaches as we were all very hungry by the time we arrived in Varkalla.
The two and a half days spent at the beach were fun for most. Jim got really sick as we were leaving the Ashram and then was fine again as we returned to the Ashram. He said to me "I think Amma didn't like the idea of me leaving the Ashram..."
I did a lot of small shopping for Jim and friends back home. I love bargaining on the Varkalla Cliff!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
New Year's Eve with Amma (continued)
December 31, 2009.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
I wanted to close the loop and share with everyone the amazing New Year's Eve celebration here at the Amritapuri Ashram...
Jim, Jason and I went up for our Darshan as we began to get a little concerned that the line was going to end in time for the New Year's Eve performances to begin. As such, we went straight to the front of the line at about 8pm or so. We each had our Darshans and it was very sweet. I had a bag of cashews for Amma (of course) and She gave me a very sweet smile and started whispering blessings in my ear in Punjabi. I was in Her arms for a few repetitions of the blessings when She stopped and said to Gireesh Swami "huh?" to which Gireesh Swami responded "Punjabi, Punjabi" Amma scolded him slightly almost to say I know my son is Punjabi speaking and you have interrupted my words to him. It was very funny and I let out a chuckle when I heard Gireesh Swami say this to Amma. She obviously knows me and my mother tongue now. How Divine is that?!?!
Amma continued to give Darshan for many hours into the night. It must have been at least 9pm or so when the performances started. It was really, really loud so the three of us retreated to our room to rest for a bit and rejoin the festivities at around 11:00pm.
We called home and wished Mom and Dad a New Year as we were about 45 mins. away from it here in Kerala.
We went back out to the Main Hall and watched a few of the last performances. Following this, Amma lead us in about 5 minutes of chanting "Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu" (May All the Beings in All the Worlds be at Peace). Amma followed this with Her New Year's address which was really profound and wonderful! The main jist of what She was saying was that She wants all of us to be light, cheerful and playful like children.
After this address was translated, Amma lead us in a very rousing "Khol Darvaaza Sheranvali-ey" which is a new 2009 Punjabi bhajan with such beautiful meaning. She had all of us with our hand up in the air and waving them like the Hare Krishnas do when they are dancing for Krishna!
This entire program went on until 1:00am. We went straight to bed and did not wake up until 8:30am the next morning.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
I wanted to close the loop and share with everyone the amazing New Year's Eve celebration here at the Amritapuri Ashram...
Jim, Jason and I went up for our Darshan as we began to get a little concerned that the line was going to end in time for the New Year's Eve performances to begin. As such, we went straight to the front of the line at about 8pm or so. We each had our Darshans and it was very sweet. I had a bag of cashews for Amma (of course) and She gave me a very sweet smile and started whispering blessings in my ear in Punjabi. I was in Her arms for a few repetitions of the blessings when She stopped and said to Gireesh Swami "huh?" to which Gireesh Swami responded "Punjabi, Punjabi" Amma scolded him slightly almost to say I know my son is Punjabi speaking and you have interrupted my words to him. It was very funny and I let out a chuckle when I heard Gireesh Swami say this to Amma. She obviously knows me and my mother tongue now. How Divine is that?!?!
Amma continued to give Darshan for many hours into the night. It must have been at least 9pm or so when the performances started. It was really, really loud so the three of us retreated to our room to rest for a bit and rejoin the festivities at around 11:00pm.
We called home and wished Mom and Dad a New Year as we were about 45 mins. away from it here in Kerala.
We went back out to the Main Hall and watched a few of the last performances. Following this, Amma lead us in about 5 minutes of chanting "Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu" (May All the Beings in All the Worlds be at Peace). Amma followed this with Her New Year's address which was really profound and wonderful! The main jist of what She was saying was that She wants all of us to be light, cheerful and playful like children.
After this address was translated, Amma lead us in a very rousing "Khol Darvaaza Sheranvali-ey" which is a new 2009 Punjabi bhajan with such beautiful meaning. She had all of us with our hand up in the air and waving them like the Hare Krishnas do when they are dancing for Krishna!
This entire program went on until 1:00am. We went straight to bed and did not wake up until 8:30am the next morning.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year's Eve at the Ashram...
December 31, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
It's New Year's Eve at the Ashram and what an energy there is today around here. Jim woke up early and went off to Yoga Class again. He didn't stay up to watch the end of Darshan last night though. I woke up and got myself ready for the day, had breakfast with Jim and went into Vallikavu with Luciole and Jim to get some paint so that I can paint my tifin - purple of course and to get my jewellery reconstructed by the jeweller.
Upon returning to the Ashram, we had lunch and went up to the Doll Shop to check things out. I wanted Jim to experience the lovely vibe and hard work that goes into each of the dolls that are created in this haven in the highest floor of the Kali Temple.
Jim is needing to rest today so that he can make it through the night and into the New Year. Mother is giving Darshan in the Main Hall and that began at about 11:00am or so. We have tokens for Darshan today and we will go late in the night to be closer to the New Year.
Jason (a faerie friend) arrives today (probably very shortly) and that is very exciting. I can't wait to see him and here some of his experiences of travelling around as well. He has been on quite the journey.
Phillipe arrived today at the Ashram as well. We didn't think that he was going to make it as he is back in school but apparently, he decided to come here on his vacation for 10 days. It's so great to see all of these people again.
Jim said to me over lunch that he wants me to show him how to wear "one of those things" and he wants to "put on one of those too" (referring to a dhoti and sandlewood respectively). I guess we will dress him up like a brahmachari for Darshan tonight! How exciting....
More to come after the festivities of the night. I am sure that there will be performances this evening for Amma while Darshan continues. I shall type more once I have more to type about!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
It's New Year's Eve at the Ashram and what an energy there is today around here. Jim woke up early and went off to Yoga Class again. He didn't stay up to watch the end of Darshan last night though. I woke up and got myself ready for the day, had breakfast with Jim and went into Vallikavu with Luciole and Jim to get some paint so that I can paint my tifin - purple of course and to get my jewellery reconstructed by the jeweller.
Upon returning to the Ashram, we had lunch and went up to the Doll Shop to check things out. I wanted Jim to experience the lovely vibe and hard work that goes into each of the dolls that are created in this haven in the highest floor of the Kali Temple.
Jim is needing to rest today so that he can make it through the night and into the New Year. Mother is giving Darshan in the Main Hall and that began at about 11:00am or so. We have tokens for Darshan today and we will go late in the night to be closer to the New Year.
Jason (a faerie friend) arrives today (probably very shortly) and that is very exciting. I can't wait to see him and here some of his experiences of travelling around as well. He has been on quite the journey.
Phillipe arrived today at the Ashram as well. We didn't think that he was going to make it as he is back in school but apparently, he decided to come here on his vacation for 10 days. It's so great to see all of these people again.
Jim said to me over lunch that he wants me to show him how to wear "one of those things" and he wants to "put on one of those too" (referring to a dhoti and sandlewood respectively). I guess we will dress him up like a brahmachari for Darshan tonight! How exciting....
More to come after the festivities of the night. I am sure that there will be performances this evening for Amma while Darshan continues. I shall type more once I have more to type about!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Grace of Amma...
December 30, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Jim is really amazing to me. He got up this morning without an alarm clock (after waking up at midnight with the scratches and itches of mosquito bites everywhere) and went off to Mens' Yoga. I got up and got myself ready for the day. We met up in the dining room for breakfast. We then went with Luciole (my French sister) to her new flat. She told us her story of getting this flat. Mother's Grace made it happen for her within 5 days where normally people wait 2-4 years on a waiting list for a flat to be built for them. She is in the Ayurveda building on the beachside with a view of the road rather than the beach as the beach is too noisy for her.
It feels as though no time has passed at all. Even though it's been 8 months since I was here at Amritapuri, it feels like it was just yesterday. Luciole commented the same. I love that!
Finally, the internet is connected and working. This is why I am now on-line and updating this blog frantically before the New Year.
I am still undecided as to whether I will go on the South India Tour or not. I have to make a decision by Saturday (when registration begins). I haven't looked into the Pancha Karma regime at all. I would really love to go on the South India Tour as I have not seen anything of South India. Pancha Karma is ALWAYS available at the Ashram. Plus, it would mean that I wouldn't get much time with Amma if I stay at the Ashram and do Pancha Karma.
I think I will just sit with these emotions, mixed as they are, and Mother will give me the direction that I need in this matter. It would be great to be on Tour with all the old friends again too!
Jason arrives tomorrow and I'm excited about that. Hopefully we will go to Varkalla Beach Resort for a few days after my birthday before the South India Tour begins. That would be nice to do with Jim and Jason.
Amma is giving Darshan as I type this blog in my room. The energy here at the Ashram is calm and sweet. There are a lot of people here already and more expected to arrive in time to ring in the New Year with Amma.
More experiences and stories to come soon...stay tuned!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Jim is really amazing to me. He got up this morning without an alarm clock (after waking up at midnight with the scratches and itches of mosquito bites everywhere) and went off to Mens' Yoga. I got up and got myself ready for the day. We met up in the dining room for breakfast. We then went with Luciole (my French sister) to her new flat. She told us her story of getting this flat. Mother's Grace made it happen for her within 5 days where normally people wait 2-4 years on a waiting list for a flat to be built for them. She is in the Ayurveda building on the beachside with a view of the road rather than the beach as the beach is too noisy for her.
It feels as though no time has passed at all. Even though it's been 8 months since I was here at Amritapuri, it feels like it was just yesterday. Luciole commented the same. I love that!
Finally, the internet is connected and working. This is why I am now on-line and updating this blog frantically before the New Year.
I am still undecided as to whether I will go on the South India Tour or not. I have to make a decision by Saturday (when registration begins). I haven't looked into the Pancha Karma regime at all. I would really love to go on the South India Tour as I have not seen anything of South India. Pancha Karma is ALWAYS available at the Ashram. Plus, it would mean that I wouldn't get much time with Amma if I stay at the Ashram and do Pancha Karma.
I think I will just sit with these emotions, mixed as they are, and Mother will give me the direction that I need in this matter. It would be great to be on Tour with all the old friends again too!
Jason arrives tomorrow and I'm excited about that. Hopefully we will go to Varkalla Beach Resort for a few days after my birthday before the South India Tour begins. That would be nice to do with Jim and Jason.
Amma is giving Darshan as I type this blog in my room. The energy here at the Ashram is calm and sweet. There are a lot of people here already and more expected to arrive in time to ring in the New Year with Amma.
More experiences and stories to come soon...stay tuned!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Settling in to being at the Ashram....
December 28, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah Everyone...
Jim and I had a very smooth flight from LA to Dubai and then further from Dubai to Kochin. We arrived at Kochin at about 3:30am on December 28, 2009 and by the time we got through customs and got our bags, the Ashram Taxi Driver was waiting for us. The ride to the Ashram was mostly in the dark. It was only at about 6:15am that the sun started to rise and we could see what we were driving through.
We arrived at the Ashram at about 7:30am and promptly checked in at the International Office. This place is packed for the Holiday Season and as such, we were given accommodations in the boys dorm above the hospital. We stayed there the first night (Dec. 28, 2008) and then on December 29, 2009 I went to the International Office to see if there was any way for Jim and I to have a private room as we are a couple and we will be having a friend (who is a first timer as well) join us on December 31, 2009. Amma was obviously feeling generous as we were moved into a new building (the M building) on the ground floor. It's perfect!!!
On December 28, when we arrived at the Ashram and checked in, we moved our stuff to the boys dorm and went for breakfast. After breakfast, I went to Bhajan Class and then we went to the bank to change money so that we can pay for things! We then got the cell phone up and running and then had lunch. After lunch, we went to Karnuagapally to get the internet connection reinstated. On the way back from town, we stopped at the Amrita Self Help store and got Jim some clothes to wear while he is here.
By the time we both got back to the Ashram we were dead tired. We hadn't slept when we got here but we did sleep some on the flights. So...we took a nap and skipped the beach sunset meditation. We got up in time for Bhajans with Amma in the Main Hall. My God, the hall was so full...it's insane.
First day was pretty intense for Jim. He kept saying that he felt as though he was a deer caught in the headlights!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 - Meditation Day and Q&A with Amma.
This is the first day that we are going to get to see Amma since we arrived! We got up and set our asanas down in the Kali Temple early so that we would have a good spot to see Amma. Then we went for breakfast. After breakfast, we went and meditated in the Temple. Amma came out for Q&A at about 11:30am. It was so nice to see Her. She served lunch to everyone immediately after the Q&A session.
After we ate, Jim went to watch a movie at the Eco Center while I got us an upgrade to a private room! After the video, Jim helped me move all our stuff from one room to the other. We are so much happier in the new room.
We took a nap and got ready for bhajans again with Amma. The first Bhajan She sang was "Krishna Vasudeva Hare". I was in heaven. This is the Bhajan that I want to offer to Mother in Seattle this coming year. It's an old Bhajan which She doesn't sing that often anymore, but it was a real blessing to hear it done live by Her.
After dinner we went to bed but got up in the middle of the night (midnight) itching and scratching everywhere...both Jim and I were eaten alive by mosquitos - welcome to India!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah Everyone...
Jim and I had a very smooth flight from LA to Dubai and then further from Dubai to Kochin. We arrived at Kochin at about 3:30am on December 28, 2009 and by the time we got through customs and got our bags, the Ashram Taxi Driver was waiting for us. The ride to the Ashram was mostly in the dark. It was only at about 6:15am that the sun started to rise and we could see what we were driving through.
We arrived at the Ashram at about 7:30am and promptly checked in at the International Office. This place is packed for the Holiday Season and as such, we were given accommodations in the boys dorm above the hospital. We stayed there the first night (Dec. 28, 2008) and then on December 29, 2009 I went to the International Office to see if there was any way for Jim and I to have a private room as we are a couple and we will be having a friend (who is a first timer as well) join us on December 31, 2009. Amma was obviously feeling generous as we were moved into a new building (the M building) on the ground floor. It's perfect!!!
On December 28, when we arrived at the Ashram and checked in, we moved our stuff to the boys dorm and went for breakfast. After breakfast, I went to Bhajan Class and then we went to the bank to change money so that we can pay for things! We then got the cell phone up and running and then had lunch. After lunch, we went to Karnuagapally to get the internet connection reinstated. On the way back from town, we stopped at the Amrita Self Help store and got Jim some clothes to wear while he is here.
By the time we both got back to the Ashram we were dead tired. We hadn't slept when we got here but we did sleep some on the flights. So...we took a nap and skipped the beach sunset meditation. We got up in time for Bhajans with Amma in the Main Hall. My God, the hall was so full...it's insane.
First day was pretty intense for Jim. He kept saying that he felt as though he was a deer caught in the headlights!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 - Meditation Day and Q&A with Amma.
This is the first day that we are going to get to see Amma since we arrived! We got up and set our asanas down in the Kali Temple early so that we would have a good spot to see Amma. Then we went for breakfast. After breakfast, we went and meditated in the Temple. Amma came out for Q&A at about 11:30am. It was so nice to see Her. She served lunch to everyone immediately after the Q&A session.
After we ate, Jim went to watch a movie at the Eco Center while I got us an upgrade to a private room! After the video, Jim helped me move all our stuff from one room to the other. We are so much happier in the new room.
We took a nap and got ready for bhajans again with Amma. The first Bhajan She sang was "Krishna Vasudeva Hare". I was in heaven. This is the Bhajan that I want to offer to Mother in Seattle this coming year. It's an old Bhajan which She doesn't sing that often anymore, but it was a real blessing to hear it done live by Her.
After dinner we went to bed but got up in the middle of the night (midnight) itching and scratching everywhere...both Jim and I were eaten alive by mosquitos - welcome to India!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Christmas in LA!!!
December 20, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah Everyone....
The blog starts again!
So Jim and I have arrived in Los Angeles today (December 20, 2009) at about 4pm. We are spending Christmas here and leaving December 26, 2009 on an Emirates flight to Kochin and then further to the Amritapuri Ashram.
This is Jim's FIRST time ever to India so I am very excited for him. Just found out Amma's going to be going on the South India Tour (Tamilnadu) on January 9, 2010 until January 25, 2010. Jim leaves the Ashram headed home on January 11, 2010 while I will be staying until February 4, 2010. This means that there is a good chance that I will be able to do the South India Tour with Amma - Yay!!!
I tell you...getting packed for both LA and India was a bit of a challenge this time around. I don't know whether it's because of the added stress of Christmas or just travelling with Jim?!?! Either way, we are now here in LA and have had our first meal at Baja Fresh (which I was craving) and now I am content.
I have recently taken up my knitting needles again and have been knitting up a storm. So...I am in the process of knitting myself a kimono style sweater which I worked on alot on the flight down fromVancouver. The Flight Attendants kept coming around asking me what I was making...I kept wanting to tell them to stop interrupting me as I was watching an episode of "House" with Jim on the computer.
It was nice that they took just great interest in my knitting and the Flight Attendant said to me as I disembarked, that she wants to see the sweater completed on my next flight. It's almost done anyhow!!!
I recently took a course in knitting with beads to make these really great chunky beaded necklaces. This is what I did for my four cousin sisters down in LA for Christmas gifts. I sure hope that they will like them. I also made one for my Mother. She seemed to like it. I am wondering if there is a way to make small enough ones for the Amma dolls and if that's even something that the Amma Doll Shop would like to have on-hand for sale?!?!
I feel as though my creative juices have started to flow and I am really excited about that. I hope to be able to harness some of that energy and produce some things for the Amma shop to sell and raise some money for the different charities. Seva is a great thing!
Will write more soon with details of the experiences and journey as it unfolds...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah Everyone....
The blog starts again!
So Jim and I have arrived in Los Angeles today (December 20, 2009) at about 4pm. We are spending Christmas here and leaving December 26, 2009 on an Emirates flight to Kochin and then further to the Amritapuri Ashram.
This is Jim's FIRST time ever to India so I am very excited for him. Just found out Amma's going to be going on the South India Tour (Tamilnadu) on January 9, 2010 until January 25, 2010. Jim leaves the Ashram headed home on January 11, 2010 while I will be staying until February 4, 2010. This means that there is a good chance that I will be able to do the South India Tour with Amma - Yay!!!
I tell you...getting packed for both LA and India was a bit of a challenge this time around. I don't know whether it's because of the added stress of Christmas or just travelling with Jim?!?! Either way, we are now here in LA and have had our first meal at Baja Fresh (which I was craving) and now I am content.
I have recently taken up my knitting needles again and have been knitting up a storm. So...I am in the process of knitting myself a kimono style sweater which I worked on alot on the flight down fromVancouver. The Flight Attendants kept coming around asking me what I was making...I kept wanting to tell them to stop interrupting me as I was watching an episode of "House" with Jim on the computer.
It was nice that they took just great interest in my knitting and the Flight Attendant said to me as I disembarked, that she wants to see the sweater completed on my next flight. It's almost done anyhow!!!
I recently took a course in knitting with beads to make these really great chunky beaded necklaces. This is what I did for my four cousin sisters down in LA for Christmas gifts. I sure hope that they will like them. I also made one for my Mother. She seemed to like it. I am wondering if there is a way to make small enough ones for the Amma dolls and if that's even something that the Amma Doll Shop would like to have on-hand for sale?!?!
I feel as though my creative juices have started to flow and I am really excited about that. I hope to be able to harness some of that energy and produce some things for the Amma shop to sell and raise some money for the different charities. Seva is a great thing!
Will write more soon with details of the experiences and journey as it unfolds...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Summer US Tour 2009...Wow...am I really going to do this?!?!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
Seattle Programs were a given as it's my home city and we always do a lot of seva there, but really, am I going to do the entire US Tour this year???
The decision has been made and airline tickets have been booked and paid for. It seems that this year of 2009 would be my year to travel with Amma!
Seattle yielded some very amazing moments of true selfless service, being showered not only with flower petals by the Divine Mother but also with tonnes of Love and lessons which brought on a lot of humour.
I mentioned to Geetha Chechi and Hansa Chechi that I had brought 2 one pound bags of raw unsalted, unroasted cashews for Amma and that I didn't want them to circulate through the prasad table and get sold in the end as prasad. I wanted for Her to have something to eat on the road trip within the US and I know how much She loves cashews.
They both said that two pounds is a lot of cashews though and She will not keep that many for Herself. So I decided to take one pound to Her here in Seattle and give Her the other pound later (about half way through the tour) in Chicago. Both Geetha Chechi and Hansa Chechi felt that this was a better idea.
I took up the first pound along with the Amma dress that I had made at Amritapuri for Her and the two face cloths with borders of red hearts on them, all decorated nicely on a tray. Jim and I went for Darshan together (for every Darshan in Seattle this year) and as we were approaching and the next ones to be in Amma's Lap, I looked up at Geetha Chechi and asked her if she would tell Amma. Geetha Chechi said that I should say it and she would translate. So...I told Amma exactly what my intention was with the cashews (as I had told Geetha Chechi and Hansa Chechi earlier in the programs at Seattle.
Amma took hold of my right ear and pulled on it while telling me "there should be no conditions on your prasad offering". She took the bag of cashews and placed them in my half zipped up hoody (as if to say take them back with you). I gave Amma a very sad and disappointed child's look to which She frowned and pulled the bag back out of my hoody, looked at them and said to me "what if everyone gave Amma a bag like this, what would the state of Amma be - cholestorol and sugar" I looked over at Geetha Chechi and said "Amma knows I have another bag for Her in Chicago doesn't She" Geetha Chechi said that she had not said a word to Amma about that and Amma started laughing really loudly and started giving us Darshan. She was still laughing in my ear as She gave me Darshan. As I separated from Her, I looked at Her and said "I just want to make sure that Amma has something for the long roadtrips ahead" Amma responded by saying "I understand you innocence but prasad should have no conditions."
I got the message so loud and clear that the next day when we went up for Darshan (which was Devi Bhava) I decided to give Her the second bag and with it would come the message that She could do whatever She wanted to with it - She could keep it, She could sell it, it did not matter to me.
I had a big brass tray with wooden sandals in it for Amma to bless so that we could do Pada Puja to them in future in Vancouver and they were nicely decorated with all sorts of flower petals. Under this large tray was the second bag of cashews. It was completely hidden by the tray with the Padukas. As Devi blessed the sandals andthe tray moved to the left side She saw the bag of cashews and I said "Amma, you can do whatever you want with this bag - sell it, keep it - it's your choice" Amma smiled and rolled Her eyes as She gave me Darshan and pinched my cheek.
Later the next morning, I was right behond Christopher on stage as he was being married by Amma to his wife Cora. I was handing them the offerings that they had for Her. After they placed the garland on Amma, I handed them a shawl that they draped over Her shoulders and then handed forward a little cloth bag (I had no idea what was inside). They pulled out a bag of raw unsalted and unroasted cashews for Amma and as they handed it to Her, She leaned back in the chair and looked over Christopher's shoulder at me, smiled and rolled Her eyes.
I decided that I would give Her a bag of cashews in EVERY city now as the joke is good and it's created a nice little connection and communication with Her.
I had many other very beautiful experiences with Amma this year in Seattle. I took up my mini harmonium for blessings and Amma played it a little. She also gave me permission to get the video of that Darshan which is very special.
Amma held on to my hand one day at the end of the morning program as She stood and put on Her shoes which Prakash had been holding for Her.
One morning in Seattle I was sitting right at the corner edge of the pitham (platform) where Amma meditates with us. I had my Amma doll in my lap and She looked down at me and the way that I was caring for my doll and smiled and said "good"!
San Ramon on the other hand was quite challenging for me. I was on tour staff for just that location doing shuttle staff. Prachetas was the acting supervisor and he and I were staying at the same devotees house and we were together on the same shifts. He was constantly too wound up and stressed out and would take this out on some of the staff. It was getting to be a little too much. Not only were we not getting much time in the Hall with Mother, but then we were having to be on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour.
I gave Amma another bag of cashews in San Ramon and She gave me an apple alon gwith my regular prasad. She of course rolled Her eyes when I gave it to Her. This is a great on-going joke that I have with Her now and I love it!
The first Devi Bhava, I landed up giving my token away to Sanjay who had lost his/hers. Sanjay is a man who is going through the change to become a woman. His story is one that is quite sad and depressing and I felt that he needed Darshan more than I did and I knew that I would be able to receive Devi Bhava Darshan in other cities on tour. The second Devi Bhava in San Ramon, Bhavani Chechi requested that I not take Darshan and to spread the word to anyone else that I knew was doing the rest of the tour. Apparently, Amma wasn't feeling very well and She wouldn't make time if everyone received Darshan as She had to leave San Ramon by a certain time to make it to LA in time for the programs there. She is doing all of the tour in Her camper this year. So, I forfeited Devi Bhava Darshan that night too.
Los Angeles was a really nice program. The energy was a lot different than Seattle or San Ramon and it was a much more mellow atmosphere in my opinion. There was more room to move around and so it didn't feel as clastrophobic. The other thing I really loved about LA was that we were staying in the same hotel as all the programs, so if I felt tired or like I needed some space, it was easy enough to go up in the elevator to my room and veg out for a bit.
The first two days of public programs and the first day of the retreat I went out to the Beverly Hot Springs and just hung out there and got rejuvenated after the difficult and stressful times of San Ramon. In the best of times I find San Ramon to be difficult to cope with, let alone being on shuttle staff there.
I have been struggling a lot here around seva and tour staff because everyone wants me to be doing seva in their department but no one is willing to make me tour staff and then I realized that it is going to cost an additional $250 for all the meals on the public programs in each city as they are not covered for non-tour staff. The concept of seva is no longer selfless when they tell you to do lots of it on this tour and you might be considered for tour staff next year. All of a sudden this is no longer selfless service, this is service with the anticipation and expectation of a staff position the next year on tour (which may or may not happen for many reasons - they may not have any positions again, I may not have the availability to go on tour again next year).
Amala was great! She said to me that I am a full paying retreatant and I should do what I need to do for myself. If that means hanging out in the hotel room and watching TV and coming down to receive Darshan each day and going back up and eating ice cream in front of the TV, then that is exactly what I should do."
As a result, I have not really done much seva at all in LA. I just did my two hours of assigned retreatant seva and part of a jewellery shift, but then was told that I wasn't needed as it wasn't that busy. I guess I just needed to give myself permission to take care of myself and not to worry about what other people will or won't say or who I might be letting down or not by NOT busting my ass doing what they are calling "seva".
Selena (my cousin) lent me her car for the first three days that I was in LA so I had the ability to easily get around and do some stuff like the Beverly Hot Springs. I am so greatful to her for lending me her car. Monica (Selena's youger sister) was in town as well from Harvard Medical school and the three of us went for dinner on the second night of the retreat. I skipped the prasad dinner served by Amma to go with them as I figured I would get prasad dinner in every other retreat city since I don't know anyone in those cities.
In LA, I gave Amma a bag of cashews in Darshan one night and She gave me an apple again as part of my prasad. She gave me some very nice and long Darshans. On Devi Bhava night in LA, I gave Her a second bag of cashews and againShe gave me an apple and pinched my cheek. I find that to be such a huge blessing from Amma to have my cheek pinched. I always want to reciprocate but am afraid that they will kick me out of the hall for doing so. I know that people in India do it all the time. I saw it with my own eyes. She is just so...cute and adorable that I want to pinch those cheeks.
I took my Amma doll up with one of the sweaters that I made for it and told Amma that I made it and that I was going to make them for sale through the bookstore. Amma smiled and was happy to hear this.
Janaka and his Rabbi friend Karen came on Devi Bhava night to receive their first Darshan. They received token X3 so they were there till the very end and even saw Amma get into Her camper and leave for Albuquerque. They bought malas and had Mother bless them and place these items on them respectively. It was very nice to see their first Darshan.
Now I am in Albuquerque and it's only the first public program day which has been an 11am - 9pm program. Unfortunately, I am not in the same hotel as the program but I am in one that is just about 500 feet away.
I am looking forward to tomorrow as I have been going through some pretty rough emotional times since Devi Bhava in LA and I am feeling very emotionally raw at the moment. I am hoping that as I continue to spend time in the programs and around Amma, that these emotions will work themselves out and I will be able to retain a better sense of being.
Seattle Programs were a given as it's my home city and we always do a lot of seva there, but really, am I going to do the entire US Tour this year???
The decision has been made and airline tickets have been booked and paid for. It seems that this year of 2009 would be my year to travel with Amma!
Seattle yielded some very amazing moments of true selfless service, being showered not only with flower petals by the Divine Mother but also with tonnes of Love and lessons which brought on a lot of humour.
I mentioned to Geetha Chechi and Hansa Chechi that I had brought 2 one pound bags of raw unsalted, unroasted cashews for Amma and that I didn't want them to circulate through the prasad table and get sold in the end as prasad. I wanted for Her to have something to eat on the road trip within the US and I know how much She loves cashews.
They both said that two pounds is a lot of cashews though and She will not keep that many for Herself. So I decided to take one pound to Her here in Seattle and give Her the other pound later (about half way through the tour) in Chicago. Both Geetha Chechi and Hansa Chechi felt that this was a better idea.
I took up the first pound along with the Amma dress that I had made at Amritapuri for Her and the two face cloths with borders of red hearts on them, all decorated nicely on a tray. Jim and I went for Darshan together (for every Darshan in Seattle this year) and as we were approaching and the next ones to be in Amma's Lap, I looked up at Geetha Chechi and asked her if she would tell Amma. Geetha Chechi said that I should say it and she would translate. So...I told Amma exactly what my intention was with the cashews (as I had told Geetha Chechi and Hansa Chechi earlier in the programs at Seattle.
Amma took hold of my right ear and pulled on it while telling me "there should be no conditions on your prasad offering". She took the bag of cashews and placed them in my half zipped up hoody (as if to say take them back with you). I gave Amma a very sad and disappointed child's look to which She frowned and pulled the bag back out of my hoody, looked at them and said to me "what if everyone gave Amma a bag like this, what would the state of Amma be - cholestorol and sugar" I looked over at Geetha Chechi and said "Amma knows I have another bag for Her in Chicago doesn't She" Geetha Chechi said that she had not said a word to Amma about that and Amma started laughing really loudly and started giving us Darshan. She was still laughing in my ear as She gave me Darshan. As I separated from Her, I looked at Her and said "I just want to make sure that Amma has something for the long roadtrips ahead" Amma responded by saying "I understand you innocence but prasad should have no conditions."
I got the message so loud and clear that the next day when we went up for Darshan (which was Devi Bhava) I decided to give Her the second bag and with it would come the message that She could do whatever She wanted to with it - She could keep it, She could sell it, it did not matter to me.
I had a big brass tray with wooden sandals in it for Amma to bless so that we could do Pada Puja to them in future in Vancouver and they were nicely decorated with all sorts of flower petals. Under this large tray was the second bag of cashews. It was completely hidden by the tray with the Padukas. As Devi blessed the sandals andthe tray moved to the left side She saw the bag of cashews and I said "Amma, you can do whatever you want with this bag - sell it, keep it - it's your choice" Amma smiled and rolled Her eyes as She gave me Darshan and pinched my cheek.
Later the next morning, I was right behond Christopher on stage as he was being married by Amma to his wife Cora. I was handing them the offerings that they had for Her. After they placed the garland on Amma, I handed them a shawl that they draped over Her shoulders and then handed forward a little cloth bag (I had no idea what was inside). They pulled out a bag of raw unsalted and unroasted cashews for Amma and as they handed it to Her, She leaned back in the chair and looked over Christopher's shoulder at me, smiled and rolled Her eyes.
I decided that I would give Her a bag of cashews in EVERY city now as the joke is good and it's created a nice little connection and communication with Her.
I had many other very beautiful experiences with Amma this year in Seattle. I took up my mini harmonium for blessings and Amma played it a little. She also gave me permission to get the video of that Darshan which is very special.
Amma held on to my hand one day at the end of the morning program as She stood and put on Her shoes which Prakash had been holding for Her.
One morning in Seattle I was sitting right at the corner edge of the pitham (platform) where Amma meditates with us. I had my Amma doll in my lap and She looked down at me and the way that I was caring for my doll and smiled and said "good"!
San Ramon on the other hand was quite challenging for me. I was on tour staff for just that location doing shuttle staff. Prachetas was the acting supervisor and he and I were staying at the same devotees house and we were together on the same shifts. He was constantly too wound up and stressed out and would take this out on some of the staff. It was getting to be a little too much. Not only were we not getting much time in the Hall with Mother, but then we were having to be on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour.
I gave Amma another bag of cashews in San Ramon and She gave me an apple alon gwith my regular prasad. She of course rolled Her eyes when I gave it to Her. This is a great on-going joke that I have with Her now and I love it!
The first Devi Bhava, I landed up giving my token away to Sanjay who had lost his/hers. Sanjay is a man who is going through the change to become a woman. His story is one that is quite sad and depressing and I felt that he needed Darshan more than I did and I knew that I would be able to receive Devi Bhava Darshan in other cities on tour. The second Devi Bhava in San Ramon, Bhavani Chechi requested that I not take Darshan and to spread the word to anyone else that I knew was doing the rest of the tour. Apparently, Amma wasn't feeling very well and She wouldn't make time if everyone received Darshan as She had to leave San Ramon by a certain time to make it to LA in time for the programs there. She is doing all of the tour in Her camper this year. So, I forfeited Devi Bhava Darshan that night too.
Los Angeles was a really nice program. The energy was a lot different than Seattle or San Ramon and it was a much more mellow atmosphere in my opinion. There was more room to move around and so it didn't feel as clastrophobic. The other thing I really loved about LA was that we were staying in the same hotel as all the programs, so if I felt tired or like I needed some space, it was easy enough to go up in the elevator to my room and veg out for a bit.
The first two days of public programs and the first day of the retreat I went out to the Beverly Hot Springs and just hung out there and got rejuvenated after the difficult and stressful times of San Ramon. In the best of times I find San Ramon to be difficult to cope with, let alone being on shuttle staff there.
I have been struggling a lot here around seva and tour staff because everyone wants me to be doing seva in their department but no one is willing to make me tour staff and then I realized that it is going to cost an additional $250 for all the meals on the public programs in each city as they are not covered for non-tour staff. The concept of seva is no longer selfless when they tell you to do lots of it on this tour and you might be considered for tour staff next year. All of a sudden this is no longer selfless service, this is service with the anticipation and expectation of a staff position the next year on tour (which may or may not happen for many reasons - they may not have any positions again, I may not have the availability to go on tour again next year).
Amala was great! She said to me that I am a full paying retreatant and I should do what I need to do for myself. If that means hanging out in the hotel room and watching TV and coming down to receive Darshan each day and going back up and eating ice cream in front of the TV, then that is exactly what I should do."
As a result, I have not really done much seva at all in LA. I just did my two hours of assigned retreatant seva and part of a jewellery shift, but then was told that I wasn't needed as it wasn't that busy. I guess I just needed to give myself permission to take care of myself and not to worry about what other people will or won't say or who I might be letting down or not by NOT busting my ass doing what they are calling "seva".
Selena (my cousin) lent me her car for the first three days that I was in LA so I had the ability to easily get around and do some stuff like the Beverly Hot Springs. I am so greatful to her for lending me her car. Monica (Selena's youger sister) was in town as well from Harvard Medical school and the three of us went for dinner on the second night of the retreat. I skipped the prasad dinner served by Amma to go with them as I figured I would get prasad dinner in every other retreat city since I don't know anyone in those cities.
In LA, I gave Amma a bag of cashews in Darshan one night and She gave me an apple again as part of my prasad. She gave me some very nice and long Darshans. On Devi Bhava night in LA, I gave Her a second bag of cashews and againShe gave me an apple and pinched my cheek. I find that to be such a huge blessing from Amma to have my cheek pinched. I always want to reciprocate but am afraid that they will kick me out of the hall for doing so. I know that people in India do it all the time. I saw it with my own eyes. She is just so...cute and adorable that I want to pinch those cheeks.
I took my Amma doll up with one of the sweaters that I made for it and told Amma that I made it and that I was going to make them for sale through the bookstore. Amma smiled and was happy to hear this.
Janaka and his Rabbi friend Karen came on Devi Bhava night to receive their first Darshan. They received token X3 so they were there till the very end and even saw Amma get into Her camper and leave for Albuquerque. They bought malas and had Mother bless them and place these items on them respectively. It was very nice to see their first Darshan.
Now I am in Albuquerque and it's only the first public program day which has been an 11am - 9pm program. Unfortunately, I am not in the same hotel as the program but I am in one that is just about 500 feet away.
I am looking forward to tomorrow as I have been going through some pretty rough emotional times since Devi Bhava in LA and I am feeling very emotionally raw at the moment. I am hoping that as I continue to spend time in the programs and around Amma, that these emotions will work themselves out and I will be able to retain a better sense of being.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Baisakhi in Kenya this Year...
April 13, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
So...Happy Baisakhi to all of my Sikh Family and friends! It's weird to be in Kenya on Baisakhi at an Amma Program, but then it's also completely perfect.
We arrived at the hall a little later this morning since we did not have to set anything up. Today there were more Africans who showed up to the program. I was told later that they were all on payroll with the owner of the rose farm (one the big wigs in the Satsang in Kenya) and that he paid them their regular wage for the day but had them all come to the program to receive Darshan. There is something really odd about that.
All Staff members were asked to sit down during the Satsang and Bhajans as the hall was appearing really empty (both days).
I love working in the bookstore doing sales and/or cash. It's an opportunity to meet a lot of different people and see their reactions to their Darshan experiences through what and how much they purchase. It's really interesting! It's also a great opportunity to spend time with Swamini and build a relationship with her.
I did go off today again in the afternoon to do some shopping at the local Kenyan Market. That was a real trip. Every little shop has the same merchandise as the one next to it, yet they ALL want you to come in and see their goods. It starts with this invitation to come in and "look" and very quickly turns into this total "pressurized sale" as though you are in a pressure cooker and you just have to get out!
Anyhow...I was able to use my infinitely wonderful bargain skills and get several items for Jimmy and myself as a memory of my travels there moreso than anything.
Getting back to the Program Hall was the best thing that could have happened to me at that point in time. I was feeling really fried in the Market and needed some grounding. I was also expected to be up on stage behind Amma helping Brahmananda and Lola with the ceremonies at the end of Darshan. Amma did not do Devi Bhava here in Kenya so it was different to see the ceremonies done in Her form dressed in (soiled from the sweat and makeup of people's Darshan) white sari...energetically no different really, just visually different. I recognize that Amma, no matter how She is dressed, is the same ~ Divinity...ShivaShakti...the One and Only!
Amma landed up calling up all the Staff Members for Darshan (which we were not expecting) but that was really sweet. I wished Amma a "Baisakhi Mumbarak" and She smiled really brightly at me.
Again, we were back at our "lap of luxuries" by about 10:30pm after dinner at the Program Hall. The packing challenge is on. I have now acquired all sorts of things along the way on this Tour and have to try and squeeze it all into the duffle bag that I brought with me from the Ashram (which was full leaving there). I (somehow) managed to get it all in and was ready for the flight tomorrow.
We were picked up in the morning and were taken to a nearby restaurant for lunch. There was rumour last night that we were all going to be taken out to the rose farm owner's house (where Amma was staying) and would be served lunch by Amma there. Well, this did not happen. As a result, when we arrived at the restaurant, Amala and I took off to the Kenyan Market as she wanted to get some items for her husband. We were able to make it there and back within plenty of time to still eat and sit around waiting for the buses to take us to the airport.
Amma was on the same flight as we were, but we did not see Her at all as there were two separate doors - one for the first class and business class passengers (which She entered through) and one for the rest of us poor sardines in the back of the plane. The curtain was very quickly drawn so we did not even get much glimpses of Her.
I slept the entire way back to Kochin and was happy to be back in India ready to make my way with Sarvaga and Pasupati to the Ashram by train. I was done like dinner. I need some R&R time now. I know how Amma does it ~ She the Divine Mother, but I don't know how Swamini does it...God bless her!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
So...Happy Baisakhi to all of my Sikh Family and friends! It's weird to be in Kenya on Baisakhi at an Amma Program, but then it's also completely perfect.
We arrived at the hall a little later this morning since we did not have to set anything up. Today there were more Africans who showed up to the program. I was told later that they were all on payroll with the owner of the rose farm (one the big wigs in the Satsang in Kenya) and that he paid them their regular wage for the day but had them all come to the program to receive Darshan. There is something really odd about that.
All Staff members were asked to sit down during the Satsang and Bhajans as the hall was appearing really empty (both days).
I love working in the bookstore doing sales and/or cash. It's an opportunity to meet a lot of different people and see their reactions to their Darshan experiences through what and how much they purchase. It's really interesting! It's also a great opportunity to spend time with Swamini and build a relationship with her.
I did go off today again in the afternoon to do some shopping at the local Kenyan Market. That was a real trip. Every little shop has the same merchandise as the one next to it, yet they ALL want you to come in and see their goods. It starts with this invitation to come in and "look" and very quickly turns into this total "pressurized sale" as though you are in a pressure cooker and you just have to get out!
Anyhow...I was able to use my infinitely wonderful bargain skills and get several items for Jimmy and myself as a memory of my travels there moreso than anything.
Getting back to the Program Hall was the best thing that could have happened to me at that point in time. I was feeling really fried in the Market and needed some grounding. I was also expected to be up on stage behind Amma helping Brahmananda and Lola with the ceremonies at the end of Darshan. Amma did not do Devi Bhava here in Kenya so it was different to see the ceremonies done in Her form dressed in (soiled from the sweat and makeup of people's Darshan) white sari...energetically no different really, just visually different. I recognize that Amma, no matter how She is dressed, is the same ~ Divinity...ShivaShakti...the One and Only!
Amma landed up calling up all the Staff Members for Darshan (which we were not expecting) but that was really sweet. I wished Amma a "Baisakhi Mumbarak" and She smiled really brightly at me.
Again, we were back at our "lap of luxuries" by about 10:30pm after dinner at the Program Hall. The packing challenge is on. I have now acquired all sorts of things along the way on this Tour and have to try and squeeze it all into the duffle bag that I brought with me from the Ashram (which was full leaving there). I (somehow) managed to get it all in and was ready for the flight tomorrow.
We were picked up in the morning and were taken to a nearby restaurant for lunch. There was rumour last night that we were all going to be taken out to the rose farm owner's house (where Amma was staying) and would be served lunch by Amma there. Well, this did not happen. As a result, when we arrived at the restaurant, Amala and I took off to the Kenyan Market as she wanted to get some items for her husband. We were able to make it there and back within plenty of time to still eat and sit around waiting for the buses to take us to the airport.
Amma was on the same flight as we were, but we did not see Her at all as there were two separate doors - one for the first class and business class passengers (which She entered through) and one for the rest of us poor sardines in the back of the plane. The curtain was very quickly drawn so we did not even get much glimpses of Her.
I slept the entire way back to Kochin and was happy to be back in India ready to make my way with Sarvaga and Pasupati to the Ashram by train. I was done like dinner. I need some R&R time now. I know how Amma does it ~ She the Divine Mother, but I don't know how Swamini does it...God bless her!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
First Day in Kenya Programs
April 12, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
The bus came and collected us from the "lap of luxury" apartments at 6:30am and we went to the Hall to set up the bookstore. The local devotees had attempted to set up the bookstore the night before with the stock that they had on hand. They did a really nice job of making displays with African cloths and textiles to cover the plastic containers that made up these multi-level tiers of a display, but it was not very economical with space. We ended up tearing down a good portion of what they had done and re-doing it much more economically while keeping their ideas of the multi-tiered displays.
Amma arrived at 10:30am and there were African Dancers to usher Her into the Hall. I took pictures of these dancers and live instrumentalists (drummers) as they were really good and seemed to really like the attention of the cameras.
On stage, Amma was greeted by the Masai (one male and one female) and was adorned with the attire of an Elder. There is significance of each of the 5 items in the attire. They are as follows:
The attire and the Regalia of Elder consists of 5 items. Each of these 5 items has a very special significance.
Blue skirt:
The Blue skirt, signifies a female Masai Elder. Only the female Elder wears a blue skirt.
White top:
Spiritual Leaders/Elders wear white top, white signifies purity and peace but most of all spirituality.
Ornaments:
The ornaments consist of necklace, headgear and wrists or arm bracelets. Each ornament is decorated with a large number of very colourful beads. The beads symbolize people of different origins, different beliefs, different faiths, different religions. All brought together to make a unique, and colourful item which shows unity and harmony.
Masai Milk Gourd:
Milk is a basic but most significant of all Masai foods. The colour of milk – white once again — signifies purity and peace. We understand that no Masai ritual is complete without milk being part of it.
Leather Sandals:
This is to assist you to walk long distances and to take you wherever you need to go far and wide. To spread your message of love, compassion, empathy and tolerance.
After this, the renowned advocate and human rights defender Dr. P.L.O Lumumba delivered a rousing speech. His speech was so powerful I felt as though I was in front of Dr. Martin Luther King himself. He drew a co-relation of Jesus sacrificing His life today (as it was Easter Sunday) for Love and Peace and Amma, the embodiment of the same was here to offer Darshan in a country that is in so much need of this.
At one point, he referred to Amma as an amazing human who travels the world spreading this message and then just minutes later acknowledged Her as an Avatar. It was extremely powerful and moving. I don't think I have to tell you that I was drawn to tears by his presentation to Amma, but I was.
Unfortunately, Kenya is not a very safe place to be out in public once the sun goes down. As such, Amma was only offering day programs in Kenya that would begin at about 10:30am upon Her arrival at the Hall and would go until about 7:30pm. This happened both days that we were in Kenya. On the first day, there were not very many Africans in the crowd at all. The only Africans that were present were the dignitaries on stage with Amma and the 54 orphans who were accepted into the orphanage that was being inaugurated by Amma's visit to Kenya.
I later found out that there were few Africans at the program because they could not afford to travel to the location of the Temple. Apparently, Amma had told the local Indian devotees, when they requested Her presence in Kenya for the opening of the orphanage, that only if the programs were held in a non-denominational public venue would She come to Kenya. The excuse that they later gave Her for going completely against Her request was that by the time She gave them Her dates of being in Kenya, there were no other venues available. I heard that the local Indian devotees were very controlling and racism is very big in Kenya. The Indians did not want the Africans to attend the programs therefore held it at a venue that was difficult for them to get to. This was (and still is) very upsetting to me as I could see how controlling the locallers were. I actually experienced it first hand working in the bookstore. The local devotees were trying to tell us how to do our jobs in the bookstore and in selling products and making change for the people purchasing items. This was very upsetting seeing that we had just finished doing this in 3 other tour cities with no such energy surrounding us in the bookstore.
It was very weird and a real test in just smiling and doing the very best that we could in loving and embracing all of these devotees who have been longing for Amma's Grace to shower upon them without gettig into our own vasanas (negative tendencies) and operating from that place in interaction with them.
Amma gave Darshan to the 54 totally adorable orphans which was completely heart-breaking to think that they were abandoned by their parents. The anticipation is that the orphanage will take in another 54 before too long amounting to 108 orphans. Really sad but also really heartening all at the same time.
I went to the Westgate Mall again today for a little while to find some native arts and clothing but was unsuccessful. Steven, the Ashram appointed driver said that he would take me tomorrow to get some stuff like that to take back to Canada.
Kenya doesn't seem anymore dangerous than India to me, even at night. We are all still forbidden to go out at night. Amma's programs ran from about 10:30am to 7:30pm and that's it. No evening programs for freight of the crowds and their safety at night. It was really odd to be back in our apartments by 10:30pm and getting prepared for bed. It felt as though we were suppose to be back at the hall to start the evening program with bhajans and Darshan.
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