Reunion Island is Beautiful but Exhausting!

April 2, 2009

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

What a long and tedious flight but we are here and this Ashram in Reunion Island is just magnificent. What a gorgeous and natural place. There is a lot of vegetation on the property and it's very free-flowing and organic. Just beautiful! There are little shrines all over with Shivalingams and statues of Devi all over. The paintings in the bhajan hall are just unreal. Apparently, a local devotee painted all of them. It's a shame though because apparently, there is no a lot of on-going activities at the Ashram in Reuion. It has all this beauty but it's not really being shared with many people.

The one good thing about being on these long drawn out flights was that we arrived in the next city before anyone else in the larger group so we had our free range of choices where to sleep. After putting down my stuff in my assigned room (which was quite comfortable with matresses on the floor) I went down to explore the grounds and have some food.

The amount of baguette and butter that we all consumed in Reunion and Mauritius combined is probably more bread than I have ever eaten in my entire life. It seemed that that was all we were being offered for morning breakfast and snacks. We learnt very quickly to be greatful for what we are offered!

Later that evening, Amma arrived with the rest of the clan. The local devotees started chanting "Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah" to the tune of Amma's famous "Aum Namah Shivaya" bhajan. It was quite powerful and Amma seemed to really love it. As soon as She arrived, She went straight to the kitchen area and wanted to serve everyone prashad. There was not a lot around and so She started asking for the prashad that they brought with them. Swamini told me that Dayalu had some in his bags and to get it from him. Dayalu brought that prashad to Amma and She started to serve it to everyone all the while saying it's prashad from the Brahmastanam Temple. She began by serving people pieces of coconut until the prashad materialized.

We were there for 4 days which meant 8 programs (one in the morning and one in the evening). Each program was held in a different venue with the exception of two programs (back to back) which were held in the same place. This meant that out of 8 programs, we had to tear down the bookstore and set it up again 7 times. This was just insane. We were so tired by the end of this stop.

I helped with the Bookstore set-up and the first 3 hours of the bookstore being open. Then, very quickly (on the first evening program) I was approached by Bhavani Chechi (big sister) to help her give out tokens. This landed up morphing into "token collector" which is a position right in front of Mother at the end of the Darshan line just on the threshold of where people are sitting on the chairs to where they begin to kneel on the ground in front of Amma. What a blessing this was to be in this role and so close to Amma. Often, I still couldn't see Her as there tends to be a nice little crowd around Her that blocked vision of Her to the people sitting just beyond the next few in line receiving Darshan, but it was fine. The energy of being that close to Her physically is more than words can describe.

The rules were very specific; every individual of the family in line to receive Darshan MUST have a token. If they didn't have a token, they needed to leave the line and get a token from Bhavani and return to the line for Darshan. I was following this as best I could. The people doing line entry and moving people up in the line were not checking to ensure that they ALL had tokens for Darshan so by the time they approached the front of the line, I would discover that they did not have a token and would have to remove them from the line. Also, the local devotees who were doing "Assistant Lap" position would just bring people in from the side lines without tokens. It was very challenging to say the least. I was able to make a good connection with Bhavani Chechi and Geetha Chechi doing this role.

April 3, 2009

Morning Programs (for the most part) were held at the Ashram where we were staying so that was kind of nice. I was working at the Bookstore when all of a sudden I was beckoned to Amma. All of a sudden I felt my heart shrink up and my mind start going at a million miles per second. I had no idea why I was being called to Her. She has never really acknowledged me before other than when I have gone for Darshan and in my dreams and meditations so what could this be about???

I came to Her right side where Geetha Chechi was and she leaned into me and gave me the head's up that someone complained to Amma last night that I had removed them from line because they didn't have a token. It was so kind of Geetha Chechi to inform me what this was about before Amma's Kali wrath came down on me. So...I officially received my first scolding from Amma.

Amma looked over at me and asked me if I had turned people out of the Darshan Line last night for not having a token. I said (coweressly) "yes" as that was the truth. I was told that each person needs to have their own token to receive Darshan.

Amma looked at me with a lot of compassion in Her eyes and shook Her head and said "No...if they come that near to Amma and they don't have a token, let it be, they don't know the process and to turn them away makes them sad and heavy-hearted"

I felt horrible and returned to my post at the Bookstore practically in tears for having done something so inconsiderate. Shortly after that, I was telling Swamini and Amala how I messed up and how I hoped that I would get the opportunity to redeem myself (as I thought for sure I will never be given that opportunity to serve Amma in that capacity again). All of a sudden, Bhavani Chechi swooped through the Bookstore and handed all the Tour Staff Darshan Tokens. Through the mass of shoppers, she readhed and handed me a token and commanded: "go for Darshan"

I thought - what's this? I just got scolded and now I am supposed to go for Darshan? I don't get it. Swamini gave me this really nice Amethyst and Pearl mala (necklace) to place on Amma to later sell as prashad through the bookstore. She knows me too well. Purple being my favourite colour and Amethyst at that, it was the perfect thing for me to take as an offering to Amma after my wrong-doing.

As I approached Amma with a very full heart and welled up eyes, I placed the mala over Amma's head and I said "Shemikkeneme Amme" which means "Forgive me Amma" to which she let out a big belly laugh. She took me into Her bossom for Darshan and again I said it to Her as I separated from Her. She pinched my left cheek and smiled and handed me prashad.

I went back to the bookstore seva and proptly asked Swamini how much that mala would cost - she said she'd let me know.

The evening program was at a gorgeous outdoor venue near the water. There were several yurts set up on these beautiful grounds. It was the kind of place where many weddings would probably be conducted. We were all so hungry and were having a very difficult time sitting through the Satsang and Bhajans without some food, but somehow (barely) we managed.

I worked in the bookstore the entire night. At the end of the night, Swamini gave me a bag of vibhuti (sacred ash) to take up to Amma to have blessed. I went up to Geetha Chechi's side witht he bag open and it was very sweet. Amma took some of the vibhuti and put it on my forehead and then Geetha Chechi said "open your mouth" and Amma popped a piece of chocolate in my mouth.

I immediately moved away as Darshan was still going on, it was just widing down. As Geetha Chechi, Bhavani Chechi and I got on the bus to go back to the Ashram, Geetha Chechi said that Amma asked where I had first come to see Her. Geetha Chechi said it must have been Seattle as he's Canadian. Amma apparently nodded Her head. It seems like I may have made it on the map in Amma's conscience.

The bus ride back was hellish. There were not enough seats for everyone and the aisle was full too. I was sitting at the very back of the bus on the floor in the aisle squashed. It was a 2 hour drive to the Ashram.

April 4, 2009

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

The morning program was again held at the Ashram and I worked the bookstore. My God, were my vasanas (negative tendencies) coming up or what. I kept feeling that all the cashiers were slacking. Amala is working really hard to break me of my "perfectionistic" way of being.

The evening program was held in a banquet hall (and this where the next morning program would be held too). I barely started working the bookstore and was whisked off to do token collecting again. I ended up doing it the entire night until the end of Darshan. It was great!

Amma got really upset with the locallers and Premananda Swami as the buses to the Ashram had left and the accomodations at this banquet hall were less than desirable. Amma laughed saying (in English) "buses gone and Prashanta gone too". (Prashanta was the organizer of this entire Tour).

She reamed out the local Swami and made him make arrangements for the women on Tour Staff. Men were stuck with the shitty accomodations.

April 5, 2009

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

I was woken up by the sounds of the women arriving in the morning from their various accomodation spots and placing their stuff down in the room that originally started out being the "womens room" in this banquet hall. There were not many men on tour to begin with and most of them fitin the smaller room that was designated the "mens room" but I stayed out in the open space of the (former) women's space. Amala laughed her head off when she saw that I was the only man sleeping in the women's area and thought that that was great! I told her that I don't really get the point. I mean the reason why men are separated from women - I get. But for me, being gay, it doesn't work to put me with the men. The temptation is through the roof. She laughed and agreed with my logic.

I worked part of the day at the bookstore and part of the day as token collector in the hall. I was really glad that my little mistake didn't prevent me from being able to do that role again.

As soon as the morning program was over, we took the bookstore over to the next (and final) hall which was at a Hindu Temple. This was where Devi Bhava was going to be held. It was a nice big hall and we set up the bookstore with quite a bit of anxst from people (on Tour). We kept just saying "we are all tired, so let's just try and breathe and not get on each others nerves too much". I started to feel really sick and was coming down with a cold. I had been sneezing a lot and started to get a scratchy throat. Yay...just in time for Devi Bhava, Mother is turning up the heat a little. As if that were not enough, it started pouring down with rain like I have never seen before in my life. It was like a tornado had hit or something. The roof of the hall was tin and the rain was so fierce that you couldn't even hear the bhajans on the sound system through the clinking of the rain pellets on tin roof. Every so often, Devi would look up to the roof and smile mischieviously! She was wearing a beautiful gold sari and looked just Divine!

We all (Tour Staff) received Darshan that night from Devi which was really sweet. Right after receiving Darshan, I had the opportunity to give prashad to Devi which was so sweet and then I sat just near Devi on the stage for some time. It was nearing the end of Devi Bhava and I came off stage and sat next to the musicians to be able to watch everyone walk around in circles in front of Devi and be showered with flower petals by the Divine Mother Herself.

We landed up waiting a long time before the bus came to collect us and take us to the same banquet hall of the night before (it seemed like a bad dream that just kept repeating itself) for a few hours of sleep before we were taken to the airport for our (earlier than anyone else) flight to Mauritius.