This Tour is Half Over...

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

Upon arriving in Mauritius from Reuion Island, I was very sick. That which I was feeling the night before at Devi Bhava was now full on and travelling on that super small plane from Reunion to Mauritius did not help. There was no room to breathe, it was very clastrophobic and the recycled air on planes did not help matters.

I went straight to bed upon arriving in Mauritius. We were being put up in a house on the next street over from the Amma Centre and Brahmastanam Temple. I did not realize until we were there, that Mauritius is a Brahmastanam Festival.

I was obviously NOT thinking straight as I landed up just pluncking myself down in the room that had the ONLY one adjoining bathroom. I did not realize that that room would be a high traffic room as a result, but all of the rooms would have been high traffic in retrospect because in order to access the room with the bathroom, one would have to go through all of the other rooms. the design of this place was not the greatest.

I was running a fever and found myself waking up in the middle of the night (it actually wasn't that late, but it seemed it to me) and had the Tour Doctor take a look at me. He gave me some pills for the fever to bring down the fever and some other pills for the pain as I was experiencing a very stiff headache. These drugs seemed to do the trick!

I was so out of it that first day and night that I didn't even know whether people were using the bathroom or not. I woke up the next morning and found that the others had arrived (the night before) and had figured out their place in this house. I also heard that some people had actually gone out last night and figured out the "lay of the land" as the Ashram was situated right on the main road. If you walk down that road just a little ways, you would come across a Pizza Hut and a KFC (go figure) and then the Courts were just a little further down the road.

I went out and had some food at Pizza Hut as I was starving and had no idea what the meal plan was with this Ashram. It seemed to be different in every tour city. The pizza was good and I got some Mauritius Rupees out of the machine and made my way back to the Ashram to find out what was going on there. I was in such a time warp what with being separated from the larger group (by having to be on these other flights) AND being sick, I had no idea when the first program was to be held or if I had already missed the first program.

When I arrived at the Ashram, I noticed that in the outdoor space next to the Ashram, there was a tin roof that was put up and the bookstore was being set up under that roof. I went and started to assist Amala in setting up the bookstore. Swamini was in a bit of a mood but I seemed to win her over. She was nothing but sweet to me, although I did see the Kali tongue come out in her toward others.

This was a really amazing city. I ended up being promoted to cashier for the bookstore for this entire stop. That was great. I really enjoyed working with the cash and creating change for people. We seemed to be really short staffed in Mauritius all of a sudden. I don't know whether it's because people over-worked themselves in the previous two stops and now had no more steam to carry through or whether they just didn't want to do the seva anymore. Part of the dilemma was that there were not a lot of local devotees to do a lot of the "prashad sevas" in the hall. I call them "prashad sevas" because they are not really considered seva. They are more considered blessings. To work around Amma in the capacity of token collecting, prashad giving, prashad running, prashad rolling, pulling, line, etc. these are all priviledges not seva.

Having said this, I had my fair share of doing some of those "prashad sevas" inside the hall as well as working my butt off at the bookstore this stop. Thank Amma, that we did not have to tear down and set-up each day again!

On this first night, when Aarti began, it was amazing. I was working in the bookstore and all of a sudden, EVERY single person in that outter hall area stood to feet in complete and utter reverance for Amma. I was so moved that I was literally drawn to tears and had to go over to Amala and cry my eyes out for a few moments.

Touring with the separation of men from women in foreign lands is a lot like my experiences of Scout camp. Needless to say, Amma was working on so many levels for me. Now, my childhood issues were starting to come up. Issues of being a "loner" and being "left out" were prevailing more than you can imagine.

Sexuality is a real issue on this human physical level. If we move "up" to the spiritual level then there is no issues. I was feeling like there was a clique being started that I was not a part of because of my sexuality. There were many guys who went out together for meals but would never consider inviting me. It was quite painful to go through this experience of the human realm.

We were in Mauritius for 3 days/nights of programs. There was no Devi Bhava here. There was only Devi Bhava in Singapore and Reunion Island. I was really greatful that we were able to see the end of both of those Devi Bhavas as there was some mention that we may not be able to since we were on the earlier flights to the next destination.

On the last evening, I did the Saturn Puja for Jan (Jim's aunt) whom I had a very strong image of when I performed that Puja for my parents in Banglore. By this point in the Tour, I had made up my mind that I was NOT going to do the Kochin Tour that Amma had planned immediately after our return from Kenya. I felt quite content with the experiences thusfar and felt that before I "overdid" it, I wanted to stop short so that I could return to the West with positive feelings about touring with Amma, not horrible disdain.

As such, I decided that this would be my last opportunity to do the Saturn Puja and I had put out that intention to perform that Puja specifically for Jan. Jim was in Denver at this time too, so that was kind of an interesting synchronicity. My spine started shaking and I got the shivers when Amma chanted "Prem do Jagadambe, Bhakti do Jagadambe, Vishvaas dekar Raksha Karo Jagadambe" This was a powerful Puja and I have the little package of vibhuti (sacred ash) and the receipt from the Puja to send off to Jan with a bit of an explanation of the Puja and its significance as well as the sacred ash as I know that she won't understand what to do with any of it.

Bhavani Chechi asked me to sing her a little bit of Kirtan while she handed out tokens on the last night (which was totally crazy and went until 4:30am). I sang her two lines of the Shabad "Satgur Ho-ay Dayal" and she said that I should sing it for Amma sometime. I said that I would love to sing it for Her and would she help me make that happen. Bhavani Chechi said "it will happen...it will happen"

I am so pleased that I did this tour as I have been able to make some really great connections with so many people. I had a really fun and good connection with 20 year old Laxman who has been playing with his facial hair and at times has looked like a typical Malayalee Film Star (if only his skin tone was a little darker)!!!

At the very end of Darshan on that last night, I got the chance to assist Kripa Prana, Amala and Brahmananda with passing things back and forth behind the Peetham for the ceremonies. There were some baby first feedings, some children starting school (so the first writings in a tray of rice) and some marriage ceremonies. by the end of all of the ceremonies, I was buried in Aarti trays, prashad trays of fruits and chocolates and garlands. Amma started singing Her new Punjabi Bhajan "Khol Dharvaaza Sheranwali" while I was stuck under all of these blessed trays of goodness that She had utilized to serve and bless the local devotees of Mauritius. I tell you, it doesn't get any better than this. I felt a little like Bibi Bhani (Guru Amar Das Ji's daughter) when she sat next to her Father and held his platform up with her hand as one of the legs of the platform had broken. This kind of dedication and devotion to the Divine Mother to just sit and hold in reverance all of the supplies for the ceremonies while She graced the Satsang with Her presence and enthused singing of a new high-energy Punjabi bhajan was what I was experiencing in that moment. It brings a great smile to my face even now as I recount that moment in my journalling and type it into this blog! Can I do that 27/7 - 365 days of the year?!?!