Feb 22, 2009


Sorry it has taken me so long to write again, but it takes some time to get situated in India.

The entire trip started off on a bit of a weird footing. Amma was helping me through every step of the way though…this I know for sure. I arrived at the airport with my parents and husband to see me off. Went through security and one of my carry-on bags was searched as they found my nail clipper set. The security representative requested that I give my family the scissors from that nail clipper set along with the needle nose pliers that I brought with me to do some jewellery making. I had to step back outside the doors and hand these items back to Jim. Then I had to go through the entire process all over again. Go through the security lines, strip off my belt and shoes, remove my laptop from its carry case, go through the screening and hear the loud screech AGAIN. It seemed that they were all new security representatives by the time I had returned (which was all of 5 minutes or less). Again, they wanted to search that same very bag. The first security representative was standing there and said (quite rudely) “did you not hand over all of the items that I gave you?” To which I responded, “I most certainly did. You handed me the scissors out of my cuticle and nail clipper case and the pliers, all of which are no longer in this bag.” The new representative continued to search through while I called my Mother and requested that they not travel too far away from the airport lounge quite yet, until I let them know that everything was good and I was seated at my departure gate. The representative removed my tube of toothpaste, as it was the regular size tube (even though more than half of it was already used). Interesting that the first representative did not catch that in her thorough search of my bag.


I called my Mother and informed her that everything was now fine and I am on my way to my gate. Upon arrival at the gate, I went up to the boarding agents to request a seat change as I was put in a middle seat and I get very claustrophobic and sick. The Air Canada representative named “Jane” who was checking people in was quite rude as well. I approached her and very nicely asked “I am wondering if there is any possibility of a seat change to an aisle as I get really claustrophobic and sick in any other seat.” To which she responded “and what if we don’t have an aisle seat? I guess we will just have to give you an extra sick bag.” Well, that was not very nice at all and of course, I intend on filing a formal complaint with Air Canada regarding this representative’s lack of customer service skills.


Needless to say, the start of my journey from Vancouver, BC to London, England was less than desirable. Once I actually boarded the plane, I found that there was a Sikh family who was scattered throughout the aircraft and would rather prefer to have as many of their family members seated as closely as possible. This played in my favour as one of their family members was seated in an aisle seat a little further back on the aircraft. I was happy to trade seats with him. I was then seated next to only one other person who was a very nice woman on her way to visit her boyfriend in London.


Having to get off of one plane and immediately go through security was a bit of a bore by the time I got to the last leg of my trip, but I guess in their defence, it’s better to be safe than sorry.


Once I arrived in London, England, and got through the security (which was quite fun…the security man was HOT and he frisked me like I’ve never been frisked before!!!). I had all of an hour to find my way to the next gate to catch my Emirates flight to Dubai. In that hour, I managed to squeeze in a short stop at the Harrod’s store – I love that store!


When I checked in for my Emirates flight from London to Dubai (which had me in an aisle seat), I requested a seat change for the last leg of my trip (Dubai to Trivandrum) as I was seated at a window seat. They happily switched my seat and to my great surprise and delight, that seat change actually bumped me up to Business Class (at no extra charge). Not only was I situated close to the front of the aircraft (which is my preference) but I was seated next to only one individual and the seats were like lazy-boy chairs complete with recliner and footrest.

Dubai was interesting to stop at for 3 hours or so. I had a bean burger at the Burger King in the airport, which was actually quite good. I changed outfits and tied a turban in Dubai airport restroom to avoid any issues at the Indian port of entry. You see, my passport picture shows me with a turban and full beard. If I showed up with a clean-shaven face and short hair, there was a possibility that they might have made some trouble for me as I look very different from the picture in the passport.


When I got on the plane in Dubai, headed for Trivandrum, I can’t tell you how excited and pleased I was that this was the last leg and that I would be in Kerela within 3 hours. Everything went really smoothly. No delays or hold-ups at the border. My pre-ordered taxi was ready and awaiting my arrival to take me out to Amritapuri (Amma’s Ashram) which is about a 3 hour drive from the airport.


The drive to the Ashram was a typical experience of driving in India. Rickety streets, lots of horn honking and a jig-saw puzzle of vehicles, including scooters, bicycles, cars, truck and buses with people hanging off them, all trying to cut the driver ahead. I really appreciated the taxi driver that came recommended to me. He was very supportive of my unspoken need to be silent for most of the road journey to the Ashram. He did make some small talk, which was nice and unobtrusive.


Upon arriving on the Ashram compound, my heart started to flutter and I knew I was home. I promptly checked in at the International office and proceeded to my room in the “E” building (which is the best building of the lot for spectacular views of both, the back waters and the Arabian Sea).


On my way down in the elevator, I bumped into two very nice people. “Sundari”, a western woman who seems to live here on the compound and a hot gay western man named “Prachetas” from Nevada City, CA. These two wonderful and loving souls took me under their wing and showed me the lay of the land after lunch. Meals here on the Ashram are very simple. They consist of rice, daal and some kind of vegetable. This is part of the Rs. 150/day rent that one pays to stay at the Ashram. The food is very tasty and full of prana (life force). There is also the Western Canteen where the more western style foods are available such as pizza, french fries, etc. and an Indian Canteen where more elaborate authentic South Indian cuisine can be obtained. Food at both of these canteens are available for a small price. I was quite content with the offerings that come part of my daily rent.

I went on an “official tour” of the compound, which began at 5pm and ended up at the beach side for the sunset meditation at 6:30pm. God…it’s just such a beautiful and “down to earth” place to be. It truly is a poor village and you can feel, energetically, the simplicity of the people who inhabit these lands.


At 6:30pm, when Amma is not at the Ashram (as was the case upon my arrival), the men gather at the Meditation Hall or Auditorium for Satsang (singing of spiritual hymns), while the women do the same in the Kali Temple (the main temple space). This is followed by dinner. Once dinner has been eaten, most people retire for the night to ensure that they are awake at 4am and ready to start Archana (recitation of the 1,000 Names of the Divine Mother) at 4:50am.


Somehow, by the Grace of Amma, I did not experience any jetlag. I slept most of the way on the flights and the shakti (strong energy) on the Ashram compound was enough to sustain me through the first day of my being at the Ashram.


I was able to arise before the sun at 4am and get showered and dressed in time for my first Archana at the homeland of the Divine Mother. I am so grateful for Prachetas and the people that he has introduced me to so far. He and Neermama invited me to join them on a bus to the end of the beach to watch the dolphins play. As we awaited the bus to take us to our destination at the end of the beach, Prachetas pointed out a little temple that has been erected right by the bus stop behind the Ashram. This was the spot where Amma performed the miracle many years ago of converting milk into rice pudding to prove Her divinity to the local people. That is one of my favourite stories of Amma’s childhood and it was just so charging for me to be able to see that place where Her divinity and authenticity was revealed to the general public.


We returned from the beach and enjoyed breakfast from the Indian Canteen. Idly and Sambar – YUM – I could eat that every morning and never get bored!


This day has gone by pretty nicely and stress-free. Amma returns tonight to the Ashram in time for Shivaratri (a festival of purification and perserverence) which is tomorrow.


I have already done some shopping as I have found some things in the stores here on the Ashram compound that will make my 3 month stay here, much more enjoyable and easeful.


Feb 23, 2009


I attended a homa (fire ceremony) in celebration of Shivaratri this morning. It was so hot and the fire blazing in front of my eyes was making it even more disgustingly hot, BUT....the homa was conducted in the Kalari (the building that used to be Amma's family's cowshed and where She began giving Darshan or hugs to humanity). Man, that building is very high in vibration and it's just unbelievable that I am here witnessing and experiencing all of this energy and being able to put these things into context is pretty mind-blowing!


I also attended a Shivaratri Puja (ritual) in the Kalari after the evening bhajans (devotional live chanting) with Amma in the Main Hall space.


I was asked to be in a play that would be offered to Amma at the Shivaratri festivities, that will depict Lord Shiva's importance and symbolism. That was really fun to be in and to offer to Amma.


After all the presentations and some few bhajans sung by Amma in the Main Hall, it was off to bed as I was exhausted. The ideal was to stay up all night and go right into Archana (early morning chanting of the 1,000 Names of the Divine Mother), but I knew that if I stayed up for that, I would not be able to show up to my seva (selfless service) obligation.


Feb 24, 2009


After a partial night of no sleep, I had a really great day today!


My day started off with doing my seva (selfless service) which is right up my alley...Amma (Kali) is being really nice and kind to me (so far), as I am working in the Western Food Line as a cashier. This is a very big honour as they trust me enough to handle the monies and they are all very encouraging. It's also allowing me to use my banking and customer service skills to the best of my ability while filling a basic ashram need.


After a delicious breakfast of dosa and sambar, I retreated to the Kali Temple (main temple space) for meditation with Amma. This was followed by a short Q&A session with Amma - and for once the Question was actually a good one. "How does one help or assist a friend who feels that they are worthless and have no purpose on this earth?" Amma's response to this was really great and quite lengthy with stories, but the basic jist of Her response was that we are each in fact very worthy of this life and we are all priceless. If a man were to ask you to sell any of your appendages to him, your response would likely be "not a chance" no matter what the price was. This illustrated that even just our physical bodies are worth so much. One must find out what the source of these feelings are for a person in order to truly address the matter.


Once the Q&A session was complete, we were served lunch by Amma and of course, whenever the Divine Mother infuses Her energy in the meal that you are about to receive, it's like no other food that you have every eaten in your life.


After lunch, Prachetas and I took an auto rickshaw into Karunagappally to get me set up with a modem for internet use. It's pretty amazing...I bought the hardware USB modem which was on Rs. 4140 (equivalent of about $85.00 USD). Now I own this modem so that I can use it on future trips to Kerela (as I know this will NOT be my last trip here). The monthly rate for unlimited internet access was Rs. 618 (equivalent of about $13.00 USD) per month. Now I am set up to be able to use the internet on my laptop from anywhere that there is a cellular signal (which in this area seems to be everywhere - believe it or not).


I got some really great dhotis (sarongs) to wear here as it's customary and it's so overwhelmingly hot, that one doesn't want to wear too many pieces of clothing if at all avoidable, but there are certain dress code standards at the Ashram.


This is making feel great! I am able to connect to the internet with ease now AND I can dress more comfortably and stylish for South India - It's all about the stylishness...but my obsession to be nicely pressed all the time is not manifesting here in India. Amma is really dealing with my hang-ups of prestene (sp?) attire and striving for perfection. I had to shave my head as soon as I arrived here at the Ashram as it's just way too hot to deal with hair that's just growing in and those awful in-between stages of my hair growth...either it was me, or the hair that had to go and I sure as hell wasn't going to turn around and go back to North America after my recent experiences of getting here.


I was finally able to chat with my beloved husband Jimmy on Skype this evening (I think I woke him up at 4:30am PST), but I was just so excited to finally be connected. Instead of going to the Main Hall for bhajans this evening, I ended up staying in my room and chatting with my roommate about my experiences of meeting Amma and Her influence in my life over the last several years. Also, sharing some of the stories of Jim's experience with Amma. So in essence we were having our own little Satsang (spiritual gathering/service) all the while hearing Amma through our open windows singing Her heart out to the Divine. We made it down to the Hall in time for Aarti (ceremonial removal of the ego by waving a camphor flame in front of the Divine Mother), this is my favourite part of Satsang anyhow.


Following this was a different dinner (I splurged and got a grilled cheese with fries - which were really good). The food that is included in the daily rent for the room at the Ashram is actually quite good. I love the vegetables and daal that they serve. At breakfast and dinner, the rice is really watered down, but still really good. This evening, I was feeling in the mood for some western food. Mother's Ashram accommodates all!


Now off to bed in hopes of waking up in time for Archana tomorrow morning. Amma gives Darshan tomorrow as well so it's gonna be a busy day and I will need to have as much energy as I can muster up.


Aum Namah Shivaya!