Insights into the Self

Feb 28, 2009

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

I am really enjoying working at the cash register at breakfast. I am getting the hang of it as there are many ins and outs to who pays for what. Renunciates get certain things free and other things they have to pay for, and then there are meal cards that anyone can buy (sort of like a prepaid credit card).

I went off for my Vedic Astrology reading this morning immediately after my breakfast seva shift. What a huge amount of information that I received from this astrologer. Including certain specific stones that I should and should not wear and which finger to wear them on and what metal they should be set in, among many other things.

I was told the specific puja that I should have done once a year to improve things for my life and to cancel out some of the negative tendencies that are following me from past life karmas.

I need to start doing Archana EVERYDAY. This is imperative and came up numerous times in my reading. Amma's getting me to work...this will take some effort on my part to be able to learn how to read the 1,000 names of the Divine Mother. It was explained that each letter and combination of sounds in each name is working on all of the nerve endings and stimulation points in the body, so it's not just chanting the different aspects of the Goddess, it's that and much more. Chanting the 1,000 Names works on ALL levels; spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. It's good for everyone, but ESPECIALLY me.

Amma is currently giving Darshan in the Kali Temple and I am getting ready to study for my Malayalam class. I want to appear as though I have done some work over these last few days (even though I have not).

You know, I am finding myself observing how I am here around Amma. It's very different. In the West, I am eagerly awaiting Darshan, but here, I have not taken a token at all after the first Darshan. I am quite fine not receiving Darshan, but just being here and present and witnessing and meditating and learning and experiencing. There are a lot of people who are coming to Amma on a regular basis. People from nearby areas, school children, westerners who are here for only a short/limited time. I figure I am here for awhile and will go on Tour with Her, so I will have plenty of opportunities. Also, I will see Mother in Seattle upon my return to North America, so it's all good and I feel really good about that ability to surrender the desire to be in Her arms as often and as long as possible.

It's not the number of times one receives Darshan, rather the mindful quality of each precious moment in Her presence that matters.

It's quite unreal being here in this bubble of Amma's Ashram. I could stay here forever (and some do). It's like being in a very highly spiritual votex that you just don't ever want to escape from.

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah