March 16, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
Today, I have had a very busy day and I am quite fatigued. It feels like I have a lot of 'baggage' that I am sorting through!!!
I mean that in the sense of emotions (which Amma has been working with me over the last few days) and also packing for the abbreviated North India Tour AND the Kenya Tour. They want us to pack two separate bags; one for the North India Tour and then one for the Kenya Tour specifically which will go directly to Banglore (the last stop on the North India Tour). I am not interested in doing that at all. The theory is that the North India bag will be sent back on the buses to the Ashram and we just collect our Kenya Tour bag(s) in Banglore and travel to Singapore with that. Too many unknowns around the bags coming back to the Ashram. Where will they be stored? Will someone else pick mine up by mistake? No...no...I am happy just taking one small duffle bag in which all of my clothes for both North India and Kenya Tours will fit.
I have just finished packing for the Tours and I am feeling extremely fatigued and exhausted. I had my last Malayalam class today for awhile (as the teacher does not come on Tour). Hopefully, I will be able to take a few more classes upon my return to Amritapuri after the Kenya Tour, but if not, then I feel like I have taken a good "kick at the can" and I am starting to read things pretty well now. The dictionary back home and Clara's infinite wisdom in spoken Malayalam will come in real handy now.
I am tired, but I want to get ready for Bhajans this evening as there is talk that Amma WILL be coming out for bhajans tonight.
Interestingly enough, I am not all that excited about going on tour at the moment. This just shows you how fatigued I truly am in the moment.
My roommates have both checked out so upon my return to the Ashram, I have no idea who I will be rooming with. I am going to move some stuff around in the room so that I can get the 'better' spot in the room BEFORE I leave for tour since it's likely that someone (or possibly two other people) will be placed in this room with me while I am still on the Kenya Tour. If my stuff is all set up in the area of the room that I want to be in and the bed has stuff on it, then chances are no one will use that space!
Better get going now so that I can figure out these details and prepare for bhajans!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Mother's Working on me...
March 15, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Mother has REALLY been working on me, let me tell you...
I have not spent very much time in Her physical presence yesterday while She was giving Darshan in the Main Hall. She was working on me at a distance.
Toward the end of my Malayalam class (1:50pm or so) I was told that the cost for the Kenya Tour had been increased (yet again) by an additional $500.00 USD and this amount was not confirmed as yet either. Some people would have to pay the additional amount and some would not and there was no explanation as to why there was that difference (that some would have to pay the addional and others wouldn't). Well, you can imagine that for my organized and detail-oriented western mind, this response was less than satisfactory. I had no other choice but to sit with this information. I had one of two options. First option (the better of the two), surrender and have faith and trust that if Amma wants me to be on this Tour then it will happen as I have made a significant effort to make it happen (i.e. had the previous "final amount" wired into the Ashram bank account, spent one full day getting the vaccination for Kenya). Second option (the more likely travelled road), sit and stew about it and allow for that energy to completely consume me and my thoughts and my mood. Well, can you guess which of the two options I ended up going with????
This journey to Amritapuri would not be a JOURNEY if Amma was not working on me on some level. I ended up taking the second option and spent a good portion of the day in my room bruting about this situation. Every so often, I would try to meditate and chant my mantra, but very quickly the devilish mind in its infinite ability to lear its ugly head and spread thoughts (which affect the entire body, mind and spirit) like a cancerous tumour was at play. I would catch myself (occasionally) going into that downward spiral and I would recognise it as Amma's Leela (play).
Today, I am feeling much better and in a better place about all of it. I don't know what the total amount is or is not going to be (as this information is unknown to the organizers as well)...so there is no other option other than to just sit back and enjoy the ride of the Divine Mother and Her Infinite Grace.
More on this as time passes...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Mother has REALLY been working on me, let me tell you...
I have not spent very much time in Her physical presence yesterday while She was giving Darshan in the Main Hall. She was working on me at a distance.
Toward the end of my Malayalam class (1:50pm or so) I was told that the cost for the Kenya Tour had been increased (yet again) by an additional $500.00 USD and this amount was not confirmed as yet either. Some people would have to pay the additional amount and some would not and there was no explanation as to why there was that difference (that some would have to pay the addional and others wouldn't). Well, you can imagine that for my organized and detail-oriented western mind, this response was less than satisfactory. I had no other choice but to sit with this information. I had one of two options. First option (the better of the two), surrender and have faith and trust that if Amma wants me to be on this Tour then it will happen as I have made a significant effort to make it happen (i.e. had the previous "final amount" wired into the Ashram bank account, spent one full day getting the vaccination for Kenya). Second option (the more likely travelled road), sit and stew about it and allow for that energy to completely consume me and my thoughts and my mood. Well, can you guess which of the two options I ended up going with????
This journey to Amritapuri would not be a JOURNEY if Amma was not working on me on some level. I ended up taking the second option and spent a good portion of the day in my room bruting about this situation. Every so often, I would try to meditate and chant my mantra, but very quickly the devilish mind in its infinite ability to lear its ugly head and spread thoughts (which affect the entire body, mind and spirit) like a cancerous tumour was at play. I would catch myself (occasionally) going into that downward spiral and I would recognise it as Amma's Leela (play).
Today, I am feeling much better and in a better place about all of it. I don't know what the total amount is or is not going to be (as this information is unknown to the organizers as well)...so there is no other option other than to just sit back and enjoy the ride of the Divine Mother and Her Infinite Grace.
More on this as time passes...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Friday, March 13, 2009
Vaccination and Evolution of my Soul's Journey...
March 14, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
I had to get the vaccination for "yellow fever" in order to go on the Kenya Tour as that is a mandatory requirement for Kenya. In order to get this, we all had to pile on a bus and travel 3 hours to Kochin to the World Helath Organization (WHO) building to get jabbed with the vaccine.
This bus ride and standing around waiting for the WHO representatives to igure out their scene was more than I could handle in the moment. My good friend Sarala (who I am taking Malayalam with) was great! She kept saying "this is Amma's way of helping the evolution of our souls" I believe that with all my heart and soul, but it was still not easy to be on a hot sticky bus for 6 hours total in the scorching heat and then waiting around at the office for 2 1/2 hours. In total, it took us close to 12 hours from departure to return in order to get the required vaccination.
I am now vaccinated and eagerly awaiting the start of the Tour. We have an orientation session today to learn about what to bring and what not to bring on tour. I also have my Malayalam class today again. I fear that Celine is not too happy with me as she can see that I just have not had any time to practise at all. Life here on the Ashram, while it is quite laid back, the time seems to fly by and before you know it, it's evening bhajan time.
Last night (March 13, 2009) there was a funeral service for an elderly woman who passed away in the hospital on the Ashram compound. After evening bhajans and dinner, Amma came back down to reign over the funeral. It was really quite powerful and the energy was very different than anything I have ever experienced before. It was slightly sorrowful, but there was no wailing at all (which I am so used to seeing in Indian funerals or any funeral for that matter). There were very few tears shed by anyone. Mother came and sat right in front of the shrouded body and we all chanted the 108 Names of Amma in Her presence (which I have never seen before - that was very amazing to chant those Names right to Her physical form). There were some other sanskrit chants that were recited (specifically for death and funerals) and then Amma led us all in one bhajan "Jai Ambe Jagadambe". After that, She ushered the family members to come forward and pay their last respects to the deceased. Then the family members were instructed by Amma to proceed to the beach side and cremate the body. They should all wash their clothes immediately after returning from the cremation grounds. Amma then retreated to Her room for the night.
I am just in awe of all of the experiences that Amma is exposing me to while here in Her presence. Never in a million years did I anticipate witnessing a funeral service performed at the Feet of Amma. So many people's response to that experience was that they want Amma to perform their funeral service as well.
I should go now and do a bit of studying of my Malayalam so that I can at least look like I did a bit of work in the two days since having class. We had to cancel yesterday's class as we were in Kochin the entire day.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
I had to get the vaccination for "yellow fever" in order to go on the Kenya Tour as that is a mandatory requirement for Kenya. In order to get this, we all had to pile on a bus and travel 3 hours to Kochin to the World Helath Organization (WHO) building to get jabbed with the vaccine.
This bus ride and standing around waiting for the WHO representatives to igure out their scene was more than I could handle in the moment. My good friend Sarala (who I am taking Malayalam with) was great! She kept saying "this is Amma's way of helping the evolution of our souls" I believe that with all my heart and soul, but it was still not easy to be on a hot sticky bus for 6 hours total in the scorching heat and then waiting around at the office for 2 1/2 hours. In total, it took us close to 12 hours from departure to return in order to get the required vaccination.
I am now vaccinated and eagerly awaiting the start of the Tour. We have an orientation session today to learn about what to bring and what not to bring on tour. I also have my Malayalam class today again. I fear that Celine is not too happy with me as she can see that I just have not had any time to practise at all. Life here on the Ashram, while it is quite laid back, the time seems to fly by and before you know it, it's evening bhajan time.
Last night (March 13, 2009) there was a funeral service for an elderly woman who passed away in the hospital on the Ashram compound. After evening bhajans and dinner, Amma came back down to reign over the funeral. It was really quite powerful and the energy was very different than anything I have ever experienced before. It was slightly sorrowful, but there was no wailing at all (which I am so used to seeing in Indian funerals or any funeral for that matter). There were very few tears shed by anyone. Mother came and sat right in front of the shrouded body and we all chanted the 108 Names of Amma in Her presence (which I have never seen before - that was very amazing to chant those Names right to Her physical form). There were some other sanskrit chants that were recited (specifically for death and funerals) and then Amma led us all in one bhajan "Jai Ambe Jagadambe". After that, She ushered the family members to come forward and pay their last respects to the deceased. Then the family members were instructed by Amma to proceed to the beach side and cremate the body. They should all wash their clothes immediately after returning from the cremation grounds. Amma then retreated to Her room for the night.
I am just in awe of all of the experiences that Amma is exposing me to while here in Her presence. Never in a million years did I anticipate witnessing a funeral service performed at the Feet of Amma. So many people's response to that experience was that they want Amma to perform their funeral service as well.
I should go now and do a bit of studying of my Malayalam so that I can at least look like I did a bit of work in the two days since having class. We had to cancel yesterday's class as we were in Kochin the entire day.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lesson in Patience and Trust...
March 11, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today my computer seems to be working just fine and it's reading the disk drive again (knock wood). It's really wacky.
So...first thing in the morning, just after my morning seva, I was told that they cannot put the cost of the Kenya Tour through on my US Visa. The alternative that was suggested was to have the monies deposited to my Canadian account and then take it out of the ATM here. This would land up costing an arm and a leg what with two conversions (US to Canadian, Canadian to Indian) and then dealing with the daily limits on the ATMs on both ends (Canada and India) and then the bank fees for multiple withdrawls (since this amount would not be able to be withdrawn all in one shot. That was just the first of two whammies. The second whammy was that the cost of the Kenya Tour has gone up to $2850 USD. Someone (in the organizing group) went up to Amma last night and told Her how much they have been quoting people. She said that they are not charging enough as they are not considering the diesel fuel for the buses to shuttle people to and from the Program site and airports.
I became really upset in the moment, but the upset subsided pretty quickly (quicker than normal) and I just became depressed. Like a child who had just had his lollipop taken away from him.
I spoke with Jim on the phone about these two whammies. I thought for sure he would say "no, we can't afford it to begin with let alone if the price is creeping up". Instead, his response was "well another $250 USD is really not that much...we just have to figure out how to get the money to you in the quickest and cheapest way"
After much discussion, I requested that he contact his US bank in the morning to find out what info is required in order to process a direct wire of money into the Ashram bank account and on my end, I would inquire with Swamini if that was an option or not.
To my great good fortune, Swamini said that this would be fine and she got me all of the banking information that was required on the US side to make this happen.
So after a lot of heartache and depression today, it seems as though Amma really wants me to be on the Tour. I spoke with my parents today as well and Mom is willing to wire me that money right away and then get reimbursed by Jim (as it will take him a few days to get the money as well). My God...the way that Amma works Her abundance in the world is just amazing to me.
It also looks like my parents are going to come down to Seattle this year to the Amma Retreat and have that experience. I guess it's time for them to receive Darshan as well and Amma is finally calling them into Her realm and court for Darshan. How exciting is that?!?!
I have to keep reminding myself that ALL is Amma's Will and just have patience and trust that Her Will is the only thing that prevails in the Universe. Apparently, I am still learning that. I go in and out of bouts of believing that whole-heartedly and then have some skepticism or doubt. She keeps on showing me and showing me like the energizer bunny who keeps going and going and going, Amma keeps showing and showing and showing...
Today was Holi (the festival of colours in Indian traditions) which I did not know. The Indian festivals follow the moon calendar so it changes every year. After receiving Darshan today (at about 7pm), I sat in the Kali Temple and gazed upon the crowd surrounding Amma receiving Darshan. She began offering Darshan at 11am and went on until 8:30pm. At this time, She was handed a tray of many different coloured powders and She began playing holi with the devotees surounding Her. She then took hold of a microphone and started singing a Punjabi bhajan (hot off the press). This bhajan moved me to tears and I was sitting watching Her on the (live feed) big screen TV. She was so joyful and dancing on Her throne as She sang the bhajan and continued playing holi with everyone. She then sung a Krishna bhajan that speaks to the festival of Holi. Everyone from the grounds of the Ashram came running into the Temple space to watch Amma in action. After having sat for 9.5 hours receiving people of all races, creeds, colours, origins, smells, appearances, She seemed untouched and with the energy of a child on sugar, played and sang in ecstacy!
This entire witnessing made me cry my eyes out and wonder why me? What did I do to deserve this kind of blessing in my life? Is this really happening or am I having the most amazing dream that just seems to go on and on for weeks on end?
I am still learning patience and trust in Amma to know that this is ALL Her doing and it's ALL happening just exactly as it is meant to by Her Grace.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today my computer seems to be working just fine and it's reading the disk drive again (knock wood). It's really wacky.
So...first thing in the morning, just after my morning seva, I was told that they cannot put the cost of the Kenya Tour through on my US Visa. The alternative that was suggested was to have the monies deposited to my Canadian account and then take it out of the ATM here. This would land up costing an arm and a leg what with two conversions (US to Canadian, Canadian to Indian) and then dealing with the daily limits on the ATMs on both ends (Canada and India) and then the bank fees for multiple withdrawls (since this amount would not be able to be withdrawn all in one shot. That was just the first of two whammies. The second whammy was that the cost of the Kenya Tour has gone up to $2850 USD. Someone (in the organizing group) went up to Amma last night and told Her how much they have been quoting people. She said that they are not charging enough as they are not considering the diesel fuel for the buses to shuttle people to and from the Program site and airports.
I became really upset in the moment, but the upset subsided pretty quickly (quicker than normal) and I just became depressed. Like a child who had just had his lollipop taken away from him.
I spoke with Jim on the phone about these two whammies. I thought for sure he would say "no, we can't afford it to begin with let alone if the price is creeping up". Instead, his response was "well another $250 USD is really not that much...we just have to figure out how to get the money to you in the quickest and cheapest way"
After much discussion, I requested that he contact his US bank in the morning to find out what info is required in order to process a direct wire of money into the Ashram bank account and on my end, I would inquire with Swamini if that was an option or not.
To my great good fortune, Swamini said that this would be fine and she got me all of the banking information that was required on the US side to make this happen.
So after a lot of heartache and depression today, it seems as though Amma really wants me to be on the Tour. I spoke with my parents today as well and Mom is willing to wire me that money right away and then get reimbursed by Jim (as it will take him a few days to get the money as well). My God...the way that Amma works Her abundance in the world is just amazing to me.
It also looks like my parents are going to come down to Seattle this year to the Amma Retreat and have that experience. I guess it's time for them to receive Darshan as well and Amma is finally calling them into Her realm and court for Darshan. How exciting is that?!?!
I have to keep reminding myself that ALL is Amma's Will and just have patience and trust that Her Will is the only thing that prevails in the Universe. Apparently, I am still learning that. I go in and out of bouts of believing that whole-heartedly and then have some skepticism or doubt. She keeps on showing me and showing me like the energizer bunny who keeps going and going and going, Amma keeps showing and showing and showing...
Today was Holi (the festival of colours in Indian traditions) which I did not know. The Indian festivals follow the moon calendar so it changes every year. After receiving Darshan today (at about 7pm), I sat in the Kali Temple and gazed upon the crowd surrounding Amma receiving Darshan. She began offering Darshan at 11am and went on until 8:30pm. At this time, She was handed a tray of many different coloured powders and She began playing holi with the devotees surounding Her. She then took hold of a microphone and started singing a Punjabi bhajan (hot off the press). This bhajan moved me to tears and I was sitting watching Her on the (live feed) big screen TV. She was so joyful and dancing on Her throne as She sang the bhajan and continued playing holi with everyone. She then sung a Krishna bhajan that speaks to the festival of Holi. Everyone from the grounds of the Ashram came running into the Temple space to watch Amma in action. After having sat for 9.5 hours receiving people of all races, creeds, colours, origins, smells, appearances, She seemed untouched and with the energy of a child on sugar, played and sang in ecstacy!
This entire witnessing made me cry my eyes out and wonder why me? What did I do to deserve this kind of blessing in my life? Is this really happening or am I having the most amazing dream that just seems to go on and on for weeks on end?
I am still learning patience and trust in Amma to know that this is ALL Her doing and it's ALL happening just exactly as it is meant to by Her Grace.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Travel Plans Underway
March 10, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Yesterday, I had a lot of difficulties with my computer and was not able to get on-line very much not to mention that my disc drive seems to be failing. It's not reading any discs that I put in it at all.
This was a very frustrating experience to go through. I think Amma might have been trying to get a message through to me to not be on the computer and rather connect with more people, which is exactly what I did.
There are some really sweet ladies (Sri Vidhya and Vinaya) from Pennsylvania that I have met and spent a lot of time with over the last two days. I found out from them, that the dates for Amma's Kenya Tour (Singapore, Reunion Islands, Mauratius and Kenya) have been posted and that the cost to do that entire tour is only $2600 USD. This includes, airfare, accomodations and food. OMG....I got on the phone with Jim and shared this information with him to see if I could go on that tour as well.
I have had a sense about Amma not touring a whole lot in the near future due to Her physical body and the difficulites that these kinds of travels impose on Her physical body. Some of this has been comfirmed through astrologers, so I conveyed this to Jim and allowed him to mull it over. Imagine, ME, allowing Jim to mull it over...I think I am learning patience and trust and faith and surrender to Amma. In the past, I have always been on Jim to "shit or get off the pot" when it comes to decision making.
Anyhow...I went to bhajans last night (March 9, 2009) in the Main Hall and Amma came out and sang many Krishna bhajans. I had a very emotional time of it. I had already planted the seed with Jim just before going to bhajans. I think I was having an emotional time at bhajans because I was realizing just how blessed I am. At times, I would go into this space of disbelief that I am even here in Amritapuri and attending Satsang EVERY night. It's kind of unbelievable.
After bhajans, I sat with the ladies again over dinner and chatted more. They are really sweet and I hope that we will stay in touch with one another.
I went to bed after speaking with Jim once more. I had forgotten to tell him that the Astrologers are all saying NOT to pull out any monies that are invested in the stockmarkets for at least the next 2-3 years as it's meant to start rising. I thought that this was important information for him to have since I know how anal and anxiety ridden he gets when it comes to money.
March 10, 2009, I went to my breakfast seva and then to the Q&A Session with Amma. At the end of the session, I stood up right away as my knees started to cease. I was sitting very close to Amma in the Kali Temple for the Satsang. She immediately looked up at me as I stood up and had my hands clasped at my heart center gazing upon Her. She looked up at me and locked eyes with me and gave me the most beautiful half smile.
After receiving my prashad lunch from Amma, I retreated to my room as I needed some down time and time away from the crowds. I brought my lunch back to my room and ate while I checked email. Jim had tried calling me on my cell phone (which was on silent) during the Satsang and sent me an email as well. In his email he stated:
"I have thought about your wanting to follow Amma to Singapore and beyond. It seems like a pretty amazing opportunity. I want you to have that experience, so let's make it happen."
When I looked at the time stamp on his email, it corresponded with the exact time that Amma locked eyes with me and gave me that gorgeous half smile. She knew that I was being given the financial permission to do this tour as well by my loving husband!
Needless to say, I have been on cloud nine ever since.
Amma is currently giving Darshan in the Kali Temple to those who are leaving today or for those who are really, really sad.
I am contemplating whether to go to bhajans tonight or not. It will depend on whether Amma is going to come out for bhajans or not. My feeling is that She will not come out as She is still (it's 6pm here) giving Darshan and bhajans start in a half hour.
There has just been so much energy around me over the last 24 hours and I am feeling really full right now.
My name has been placed on the list as a priority for the Kenya Tour (according to Swamini) and my passport and visa information has been given to the co-ordinator who has already sent it off to arrange the necessary visas for the countries that we will be visiting.
OMG....pinch me...pinch me now....I feel as though I am dreaming!!!
I have so much to be greatful for, but the idea of doing a lot of seva on stage near Amma on these Tours really excites me. Apparently, there are not a lot of people who go on this tour to Singapore and beyond. So those of us that do, will get a lot of opportunities to do some really amazing sevas. Minimally, I will be doing a lot of face wiping seva near Amma which is a very sweet and profound seva to engage in.
I won't be on-line for about a month once I leave for the North India Tour. That Tour ends in Banglore (after 10 days) and those of us travelling on will board planes in Banglore headed for Singapore etc. We will return to Amritapuri after Kenya. My understanding is that these 4 cities (Singapore, Reunion Islands, Mauratius and Kenya) will take 2 weeks to complete.
Stay tuned for more interesting experiences and information as I am able to post, I most definitely will!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Yesterday, I had a lot of difficulties with my computer and was not able to get on-line very much not to mention that my disc drive seems to be failing. It's not reading any discs that I put in it at all.
This was a very frustrating experience to go through. I think Amma might have been trying to get a message through to me to not be on the computer and rather connect with more people, which is exactly what I did.
There are some really sweet ladies (Sri Vidhya and Vinaya) from Pennsylvania that I have met and spent a lot of time with over the last two days. I found out from them, that the dates for Amma's Kenya Tour (Singapore, Reunion Islands, Mauratius and Kenya) have been posted and that the cost to do that entire tour is only $2600 USD. This includes, airfare, accomodations and food. OMG....I got on the phone with Jim and shared this information with him to see if I could go on that tour as well.
I have had a sense about Amma not touring a whole lot in the near future due to Her physical body and the difficulites that these kinds of travels impose on Her physical body. Some of this has been comfirmed through astrologers, so I conveyed this to Jim and allowed him to mull it over. Imagine, ME, allowing Jim to mull it over...I think I am learning patience and trust and faith and surrender to Amma. In the past, I have always been on Jim to "shit or get off the pot" when it comes to decision making.
Anyhow...I went to bhajans last night (March 9, 2009) in the Main Hall and Amma came out and sang many Krishna bhajans. I had a very emotional time of it. I had already planted the seed with Jim just before going to bhajans. I think I was having an emotional time at bhajans because I was realizing just how blessed I am. At times, I would go into this space of disbelief that I am even here in Amritapuri and attending Satsang EVERY night. It's kind of unbelievable.
After bhajans, I sat with the ladies again over dinner and chatted more. They are really sweet and I hope that we will stay in touch with one another.
I went to bed after speaking with Jim once more. I had forgotten to tell him that the Astrologers are all saying NOT to pull out any monies that are invested in the stockmarkets for at least the next 2-3 years as it's meant to start rising. I thought that this was important information for him to have since I know how anal and anxiety ridden he gets when it comes to money.
March 10, 2009, I went to my breakfast seva and then to the Q&A Session with Amma. At the end of the session, I stood up right away as my knees started to cease. I was sitting very close to Amma in the Kali Temple for the Satsang. She immediately looked up at me as I stood up and had my hands clasped at my heart center gazing upon Her. She looked up at me and locked eyes with me and gave me the most beautiful half smile.
After receiving my prashad lunch from Amma, I retreated to my room as I needed some down time and time away from the crowds. I brought my lunch back to my room and ate while I checked email. Jim had tried calling me on my cell phone (which was on silent) during the Satsang and sent me an email as well. In his email he stated:
"I have thought about your wanting to follow Amma to Singapore and beyond. It seems like a pretty amazing opportunity. I want you to have that experience, so let's make it happen."
When I looked at the time stamp on his email, it corresponded with the exact time that Amma locked eyes with me and gave me that gorgeous half smile. She knew that I was being given the financial permission to do this tour as well by my loving husband!
Needless to say, I have been on cloud nine ever since.
Amma is currently giving Darshan in the Kali Temple to those who are leaving today or for those who are really, really sad.
I am contemplating whether to go to bhajans tonight or not. It will depend on whether Amma is going to come out for bhajans or not. My feeling is that She will not come out as She is still (it's 6pm here) giving Darshan and bhajans start in a half hour.
There has just been so much energy around me over the last 24 hours and I am feeling really full right now.
My name has been placed on the list as a priority for the Kenya Tour (according to Swamini) and my passport and visa information has been given to the co-ordinator who has already sent it off to arrange the necessary visas for the countries that we will be visiting.
OMG....pinch me...pinch me now....I feel as though I am dreaming!!!
I have so much to be greatful for, but the idea of doing a lot of seva on stage near Amma on these Tours really excites me. Apparently, there are not a lot of people who go on this tour to Singapore and beyond. So those of us that do, will get a lot of opportunities to do some really amazing sevas. Minimally, I will be doing a lot of face wiping seva near Amma which is a very sweet and profound seva to engage in.
I won't be on-line for about a month once I leave for the North India Tour. That Tour ends in Banglore (after 10 days) and those of us travelling on will board planes in Banglore headed for Singapore etc. We will return to Amritapuri after Kenya. My understanding is that these 4 cities (Singapore, Reunion Islands, Mauratius and Kenya) will take 2 weeks to complete.
Stay tuned for more interesting experiences and information as I am able to post, I most definitely will!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Abundant Grace
March 7, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
So...after my breakfast seva, I was making my way to the ECO Store to get some natural bug repellant (as recommended by many for the tours). I am trying to get myself ready with the necessary things for the Tour.
On my way back to my room, Gireesh Swami (head priest in the Kalari) saw me and hailed me down stating that I should come now (11:30am) to the other side of the backwaters and he will arrange a car for me to travel to the Program in.
I asked why so early if the Program isn't until 6pm. He said that we will travel with Amma and She will go to an ashram first in Thiruvalla before the Program.
I quickly went to my room and collected the few things that I needed and proceeded to the other side of the bridge, only to be ushered to the veranda of Amma's sister's home. This is where Amma's Mother and sisters live. I was able to get some pictures with Amma's sisters (who were very sweet and served us prashad upon arriving at their home).
I then sat in the front seat of a nicely air conditioned vehicle with 4 Swamis from the Kalari in the back seat. There was a sticker on the front windshield which said "VIP Gate - I" and "VIP Parking - I".
I didn't expect to travel in Amma's caravan to the Program but apparently She wanted me to.
The driver "Bala" put on a CD and the very first bhajan on the CD was "Jai Jai Satguru Maharani" (which is the bhajan that I would really like to learn while I am here so that we can offer it to Amma in Seattle). The second bhajan was "Govinda Gopala Hari Hari".
Well, if there was any doubts in mind (which there were many) that they had made a mistake and that I should not bein this car, I now knew that I was in the right car as these bhajans just sealed the deal for me!
"Sundar Hai Nayana Tere" was the next bhajan on the CD. It's a Hindi bhajan that both Jim and I really love a lot. Jim was brought into my consciousness almost immediately after this bhajan starting playingon the CD player.
Amma came over the Amrita Setu (bridge) shortly thereafter with droves and droves of people following Her.
The car immediately in front of the car that I was in had the senior Swamis in it. We made our way quite briskly to Thiruvalla where Amma went into this little house and rested in there, while we all sat under an outdoor hut under fans and rested up for the evening as we knew it was going to be a long one.
We left the "Thiruvalla Ashram" just after 6pm and arrived at the Stadium where the Program was being held. It was packed with Indians. There must have been at least 100,000 people there if not more. My claustrophobia was feeling quite active and I just had to sit for a bit and meditate on Amma's Divine Face and remember why I was here and what my seva was for the night.
I was on face wiping seva. I had to wipe the faces of all the men who were approaching Amma for Darshan as it was very hot and dirty. The stadium was out in the open with dirt grounds below us so everyone's face was filthy and it was my job to ensure that the men's faces were as clean of this as possible as they receive their Darshan.
It's really an amazing seva to do. To witness people's energy as they are in a completely vulnerable state going up to the Divine Mother for Darshan is a very sweet blessing. In the east, it's considered an act of great kindness and humility to wipe someone's face as they approach the Divine Mother. It would be the equivalent of washing people's feet as they enter a temple. It's a very priviledged and rewarding seva to offer.
Many men thanked me with a lot of Love in their hearts for having served them in that capacity. Little children with such glee and twinkles in their eyes would approach and greet me with the resounding "Aum Namah Shivaya" with beaming smiles on their faces. This was al enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Mother arranged ALL of this for me with complete ease and no hurdles to jump through at all. Seeing each of these people whether they were poor, rich, healthy, ill, disabled, timid, powerful, shy...it was like I was seeing Amma in front of me each time. While I was fairly close to Mother on the ramp leading up to Her peetham (platform), She was crowed with people and there was really no seeing Her through all those people and sevites. For me, the next best thing (which may even be better - I know Amma would say so) was to see Amma with each expectant face that passed me on the ramp. What a huge blessing - my heart is beginning to open wider and wider as I continue on this journey at the Lotus Feet of Amma.
Sarala, who is a woman taking Malayalam classes with me (she started ust before me), is the Supervisor of the face wiping seva. She was pleased with my ability to do the job at the Program in Thiruvalla and has requested that I do it again on the abbreviated North India tour. My response, of course, was that it would be my great good fortune, honour and priviledge to serve in that capacity again.
I am noticing that the sevas that Amma has me doing (both cashiering at the Ashram Western Canteen and Face Wiping on tour) puts me in touch physically with the public alot. She is having me look into the faces and eyes of all of these glorious beings who are all extensions of Her. So...in essence, I am having so many Darshans on a daily basis. I may not be in Mother's embrace as often as some would think I should be while here at the Ashram, but the Darshans of the beings that come to Amma is quite spectacular and Mother's Abundant Grace!
The Program went on until about 7am (but I left at about 4am as my driver was leaving). Amma rested for some time and then made 5 house visits before returning to the Ashram.
I returned to the Ashram by 5am and went straight to bed as I needed to sleep. I slept so deeply and peacefully like a still pond with lotus flowers resting on top.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
So...after my breakfast seva, I was making my way to the ECO Store to get some natural bug repellant (as recommended by many for the tours). I am trying to get myself ready with the necessary things for the Tour.
On my way back to my room, Gireesh Swami (head priest in the Kalari) saw me and hailed me down stating that I should come now (11:30am) to the other side of the backwaters and he will arrange a car for me to travel to the Program in.
I asked why so early if the Program isn't until 6pm. He said that we will travel with Amma and She will go to an ashram first in Thiruvalla before the Program.
I quickly went to my room and collected the few things that I needed and proceeded to the other side of the bridge, only to be ushered to the veranda of Amma's sister's home. This is where Amma's Mother and sisters live. I was able to get some pictures with Amma's sisters (who were very sweet and served us prashad upon arriving at their home).
I then sat in the front seat of a nicely air conditioned vehicle with 4 Swamis from the Kalari in the back seat. There was a sticker on the front windshield which said "VIP Gate - I" and "VIP Parking - I".
I didn't expect to travel in Amma's caravan to the Program but apparently She wanted me to.
The driver "Bala" put on a CD and the very first bhajan on the CD was "Jai Jai Satguru Maharani" (which is the bhajan that I would really like to learn while I am here so that we can offer it to Amma in Seattle). The second bhajan was "Govinda Gopala Hari Hari".
Well, if there was any doubts in mind (which there were many) that they had made a mistake and that I should not bein this car, I now knew that I was in the right car as these bhajans just sealed the deal for me!
"Sundar Hai Nayana Tere" was the next bhajan on the CD. It's a Hindi bhajan that both Jim and I really love a lot. Jim was brought into my consciousness almost immediately after this bhajan starting playingon the CD player.
Amma came over the Amrita Setu (bridge) shortly thereafter with droves and droves of people following Her.
The car immediately in front of the car that I was in had the senior Swamis in it. We made our way quite briskly to Thiruvalla where Amma went into this little house and rested in there, while we all sat under an outdoor hut under fans and rested up for the evening as we knew it was going to be a long one.
We left the "Thiruvalla Ashram" just after 6pm and arrived at the Stadium where the Program was being held. It was packed with Indians. There must have been at least 100,000 people there if not more. My claustrophobia was feeling quite active and I just had to sit for a bit and meditate on Amma's Divine Face and remember why I was here and what my seva was for the night.
I was on face wiping seva. I had to wipe the faces of all the men who were approaching Amma for Darshan as it was very hot and dirty. The stadium was out in the open with dirt grounds below us so everyone's face was filthy and it was my job to ensure that the men's faces were as clean of this as possible as they receive their Darshan.
It's really an amazing seva to do. To witness people's energy as they are in a completely vulnerable state going up to the Divine Mother for Darshan is a very sweet blessing. In the east, it's considered an act of great kindness and humility to wipe someone's face as they approach the Divine Mother. It would be the equivalent of washing people's feet as they enter a temple. It's a very priviledged and rewarding seva to offer.
Many men thanked me with a lot of Love in their hearts for having served them in that capacity. Little children with such glee and twinkles in their eyes would approach and greet me with the resounding "Aum Namah Shivaya" with beaming smiles on their faces. This was al enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Mother arranged ALL of this for me with complete ease and no hurdles to jump through at all. Seeing each of these people whether they were poor, rich, healthy, ill, disabled, timid, powerful, shy...it was like I was seeing Amma in front of me each time. While I was fairly close to Mother on the ramp leading up to Her peetham (platform), She was crowed with people and there was really no seeing Her through all those people and sevites. For me, the next best thing (which may even be better - I know Amma would say so) was to see Amma with each expectant face that passed me on the ramp. What a huge blessing - my heart is beginning to open wider and wider as I continue on this journey at the Lotus Feet of Amma.
Sarala, who is a woman taking Malayalam classes with me (she started ust before me), is the Supervisor of the face wiping seva. She was pleased with my ability to do the job at the Program in Thiruvalla and has requested that I do it again on the abbreviated North India tour. My response, of course, was that it would be my great good fortune, honour and priviledge to serve in that capacity again.
I am noticing that the sevas that Amma has me doing (both cashiering at the Ashram Western Canteen and Face Wiping on tour) puts me in touch physically with the public alot. She is having me look into the faces and eyes of all of these glorious beings who are all extensions of Her. So...in essence, I am having so many Darshans on a daily basis. I may not be in Mother's embrace as often as some would think I should be while here at the Ashram, but the Darshans of the beings that come to Amma is quite spectacular and Mother's Abundant Grace!
The Program went on until about 7am (but I left at about 4am as my driver was leaving). Amma rested for some time and then made 5 house visits before returning to the Ashram.
I returned to the Ashram by 5am and went straight to bed as I needed to sleep. I slept so deeply and peacefully like a still pond with lotus flowers resting on top.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Friday, March 6, 2009
Excitement is brewing!!!
March 6, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
So...tomorrow there is a short (one program) tour to Thiruvalla, Kerala.
Then...hot off the press...the dates just got posted on the amritapuri.org website so it's official:
March 18-19 ~ Mananthavady, Kerala
March 21-22 ~ Mysore, Karnataka
March 24-25 ~ Banglore, Karnataka
Amma will be leaving from Banglore direct to Singapore, Reunion Islands and Kenya. This will mean that I will come back to the Ashram for some time and then probably check out Kovallum and Varkala (beach resorts) close to the Ashram since I have never been here before and would like to experience more of South India while I am here.
I may even make a trip up to Hazoor Sahib ( the place where Guru Gobind Singh [10th living Guru of the Sikhs] dropped his physical body and named the Siri Guru Granth Sahib [Sikh Scriptures] as the ever-living Guru). I have never been there before but have heard many a wonderful things about it! It is located in the city of Nanded in the state of Maharastra. I haven't decided entirely about this visit but I am fine with that. The answer will come when the time is right.
In the meantime, I wish to focus on my travels with Amma and that experience as that is the main reason and goal of this trip!
More to follow...
Aum Namah Shivaya!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
So...tomorrow there is a short (one program) tour to Thiruvalla, Kerala.
Then...hot off the press...the dates just got posted on the amritapuri.org website so it's official:
March 18-19 ~ Mananthavady, Kerala
March 21-22 ~ Mysore, Karnataka
March 24-25 ~ Banglore, Karnataka
Amma will be leaving from Banglore direct to Singapore, Reunion Islands and Kenya. This will mean that I will come back to the Ashram for some time and then probably check out Kovallum and Varkala (beach resorts) close to the Ashram since I have never been here before and would like to experience more of South India while I am here.
I may even make a trip up to Hazoor Sahib ( the place where Guru Gobind Singh [10th living Guru of the Sikhs] dropped his physical body and named the Siri Guru Granth Sahib [Sikh Scriptures] as the ever-living Guru). I have never been there before but have heard many a wonderful things about it! It is located in the city of Nanded in the state of Maharastra. I haven't decided entirely about this visit but I am fine with that. The answer will come when the time is right.
In the meantime, I wish to focus on my travels with Amma and that experience as that is the main reason and goal of this trip!
More to follow...
Aum Namah Shivaya!
Learning and Judgement and Happiness...
March 6, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I feel really good today! It has been a relaxing day as Mother doesn't do any Darshan programs or anything today (Friday). She will be coming out soon (6:30pm) for Bhajans (devotional hymns). That is always something to look forward to. Watching Amma in Divine Ecstacy is so powerful in its own right.
I had my Malayalam class today and that felt really good. It seems that I am now starting to recognize letters without constantly referring to my book for the sound that is associated with the character. I am sounding words out on my own and then Celine tells me what the meaning of the word is. Slowly but surely my vocabulary will be increased. It's a little bit of a tough language to follow. I am so glad that I have Punjabi behind me though. I am often writing things in Punjabi script as well so that I can get the pronounciation proper.
I took my vedic astrology chart to Gitamba for a follow-up session as several things that Mohan told me didn't seem quite correct. It became really clear to me very quickly, that Mohan was in a place of judgement as he picked up that I am gay. Typical of an Indian insecure male. Ultimately, what Gitamba said was the same as what Mohan said (the root of it all), it's just the WAY in which it was said was completely different today from Gitamba and it was really great! The information has actually sunk in. I was explaining to someone afterwards, that I felt that the root seed was the same, but the colour, fragrance and look of the flower was quite different.
I am excited to be going to Thiruvalla tomorrow with Amma for a one-day program. That should be interesting. The buses leave at 2pm tomorrow from the Ashram and the Program is about 45 mins. away (apparently). I shall write more after that experience.
Aum Namah Shivaya...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I feel really good today! It has been a relaxing day as Mother doesn't do any Darshan programs or anything today (Friday). She will be coming out soon (6:30pm) for Bhajans (devotional hymns). That is always something to look forward to. Watching Amma in Divine Ecstacy is so powerful in its own right.
I had my Malayalam class today and that felt really good. It seems that I am now starting to recognize letters without constantly referring to my book for the sound that is associated with the character. I am sounding words out on my own and then Celine tells me what the meaning of the word is. Slowly but surely my vocabulary will be increased. It's a little bit of a tough language to follow. I am so glad that I have Punjabi behind me though. I am often writing things in Punjabi script as well so that I can get the pronounciation proper.
I took my vedic astrology chart to Gitamba for a follow-up session as several things that Mohan told me didn't seem quite correct. It became really clear to me very quickly, that Mohan was in a place of judgement as he picked up that I am gay. Typical of an Indian insecure male. Ultimately, what Gitamba said was the same as what Mohan said (the root of it all), it's just the WAY in which it was said was completely different today from Gitamba and it was really great! The information has actually sunk in. I was explaining to someone afterwards, that I felt that the root seed was the same, but the colour, fragrance and look of the flower was quite different.
I am excited to be going to Thiruvalla tomorrow with Amma for a one-day program. That should be interesting. The buses leave at 2pm tomorrow from the Ashram and the Program is about 45 mins. away (apparently). I shall write more after that experience.
Aum Namah Shivaya...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Silence is Golden!
March 5, 2009.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today I began my day by waking up at 4am and bathing in the nice cold water that run through the pipes of India. After becoming all clean and refreshed from the night's sleep, I went down to the Kalari where I attended the Rahu-Ketu Puja (fire ceremony) that I sponsored based on my vedic astrology reading. I have another Puja (Shiva Shakti) this evening at 6pm.
As such, I have opted to observe silence today - ALL DAY! It's pretty amazing actually to say nothing but to be within and observe the thoughts of the monkey mind. I did my seva at breakfast (which was a little challenging, but I put up a sign on my cash register saying "SILENCE" and most everyone honoured that).
Now, I am in my room and intend on staying here most of the day in meditation and silence to go deep within to heal and praise the Divine Mother for the many boons that She has bestowed upon me.
I am forfeiting my Malayalam class just for today as it would be difficult to go to a one-on-one class in language when one is in silence.
I shall write more after my 'full' experience of the day/night. It's kind of ironic that I should be doing this today while Jim is holding Faerie Heart Circle in our home in Vancouver and I have requested that they call me into the Circle. It will really allow me to go deep into a meditative space and telecommute/telecommune with my Faerie brothers/sisters back home as they bless our home with their presence and energies.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Wow! Silence really is Golden. Being silent for the entire day and just going deep within and meditating a lot and energetically participating and witnessing the two Pujas has made me speechless (no pun intended)! I can't even really describe the beauty in being completely silent and focussed inward for that long. I can only imagine what a Vipassana (10 day Buddhist Silent Retreat) would be like.
The Pujas were really intense and high energy and I got out of the Shiva Shakti Puja just in time to stand by the circular staircase at the back of the Kali Temple for Amma's descent after giving Darshan all day from 11am - 8pm. I was able to take hold of Her hand (and didn't want to let go) as She passed by to retreat to Her room. What blessings of synchronicity!
Aum Namah Shivaya!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Today I began my day by waking up at 4am and bathing in the nice cold water that run through the pipes of India. After becoming all clean and refreshed from the night's sleep, I went down to the Kalari where I attended the Rahu-Ketu Puja (fire ceremony) that I sponsored based on my vedic astrology reading. I have another Puja (Shiva Shakti) this evening at 6pm.
As such, I have opted to observe silence today - ALL DAY! It's pretty amazing actually to say nothing but to be within and observe the thoughts of the monkey mind. I did my seva at breakfast (which was a little challenging, but I put up a sign on my cash register saying "SILENCE" and most everyone honoured that).
Now, I am in my room and intend on staying here most of the day in meditation and silence to go deep within to heal and praise the Divine Mother for the many boons that She has bestowed upon me.
I am forfeiting my Malayalam class just for today as it would be difficult to go to a one-on-one class in language when one is in silence.
I shall write more after my 'full' experience of the day/night. It's kind of ironic that I should be doing this today while Jim is holding Faerie Heart Circle in our home in Vancouver and I have requested that they call me into the Circle. It will really allow me to go deep into a meditative space and telecommute/telecommune with my Faerie brothers/sisters back home as they bless our home with their presence and energies.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
Wow! Silence really is Golden. Being silent for the entire day and just going deep within and meditating a lot and energetically participating and witnessing the two Pujas has made me speechless (no pun intended)! I can't even really describe the beauty in being completely silent and focussed inward for that long. I can only imagine what a Vipassana (10 day Buddhist Silent Retreat) would be like.
The Pujas were really intense and high energy and I got out of the Shiva Shakti Puja just in time to stand by the circular staircase at the back of the Kali Temple for Amma's descent after giving Darshan all day from 11am - 8pm. I was able to take hold of Her hand (and didn't want to let go) as She passed by to retreat to Her room. What blessings of synchronicity!
Aum Namah Shivaya!
Healing and Prayers Abound...
March 4, 2009.
Aum Namah Shivaya,
I had Darshan this evening and took a picture of my dear friend and brother/sister in Divine Jeff Bader to Amma for blessings. When we stopped in on Bill and Jeff for one night on our way to the Faerie Gathering in Portland, we came to learn that Jeff has been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). I shared with him the power of Amma's sankalpa (resolution) and asked if he would be willing to allow me to take a picture of him to Amma for blessings and sankalpa. He did provide me with a picture of himself that I took to Mother today for blessings. This was only my second Darshan since being here in Amritapuri (just over a week now). A lot of people go up for Darshan 2-3 times a week. I am not feeling that "needy" for Darshan, but there are a few things that I needed to do. I needed to take Jeff to Mother's embrace for sankalpa with this ALS that has invaded his being. Amma took me to Her bossom and gave me a very beautiful Darshan which felt more like it was for Jeff than for me. I tried to become as empty as possible - an empty vessel for the power of Her sankalpa to reach Jeff on a cellular level. My hope and prayer is that it worked. Amma whispered in my ear in Punjabi (she was not told this time that Punjabi is my mother tongue), "My darling son, my darling son, Ma...ma...ma..."
Jeff...I hope that these powerful healing vibration reaches you and that you are open enough to receive the boons of Amma's Grace.
Now, I am off to bed so that I can rise early as tomorrow morning is my Rahu-Ketu Puja in the Kalari at 5am and then at 6pm my Shiva Shakti Puja. I am gearing myself up for these two Pujas tomorrow and want to ensure that I have a good night sleep and am as alert and prayerful as possible to heal and transform my future and the future of some of my biological family as well as other relations.
Aum Namah Shivaya...
Aum Namah Shivaya,
I had Darshan this evening and took a picture of my dear friend and brother/sister in Divine Jeff Bader to Amma for blessings. When we stopped in on Bill and Jeff for one night on our way to the Faerie Gathering in Portland, we came to learn that Jeff has been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). I shared with him the power of Amma's sankalpa (resolution) and asked if he would be willing to allow me to take a picture of him to Amma for blessings and sankalpa. He did provide me with a picture of himself that I took to Mother today for blessings. This was only my second Darshan since being here in Amritapuri (just over a week now). A lot of people go up for Darshan 2-3 times a week. I am not feeling that "needy" for Darshan, but there are a few things that I needed to do. I needed to take Jeff to Mother's embrace for sankalpa with this ALS that has invaded his being. Amma took me to Her bossom and gave me a very beautiful Darshan which felt more like it was for Jeff than for me. I tried to become as empty as possible - an empty vessel for the power of Her sankalpa to reach Jeff on a cellular level. My hope and prayer is that it worked. Amma whispered in my ear in Punjabi (she was not told this time that Punjabi is my mother tongue), "My darling son, my darling son, Ma...ma...ma..."
Jeff...I hope that these powerful healing vibration reaches you and that you are open enough to receive the boons of Amma's Grace.
Now, I am off to bed so that I can rise early as tomorrow morning is my Rahu-Ketu Puja in the Kalari at 5am and then at 6pm my Shiva Shakti Puja. I am gearing myself up for these two Pujas tomorrow and want to ensure that I have a good night sleep and am as alert and prayerful as possible to heal and transform my future and the future of some of my biological family as well as other relations.
Aum Namah Shivaya...
Making Progress...
March 4, 2009.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
Last night's Kali/Karthika Puja was REALLY powerful. I had a front and center seat in the Kalari to witness the Puja and take lots of pictures. I was directly in front of the door to the inner-Kalari which was open and there was a very beautiful Amma doll dressed in a royal purple sari (my favourite colour if some of you didn't know that already). I sat there while Amma was singing bhajans in the main hall as I didn't feel like being in the big hustle and bustle of the main hall crowds after the bhajans. The Puja was to begin at 8pm and usually that's when they start Aarti to Amma so I also didn't want to leave at that point. I could hear Amma singing Her heart out from the Kalari anyhow so it felt like being right there in the hall with Her. The last bhajan that She sang which was very high energy was Jago Ma Kali Jago Jago. This means "Rise Up Mother Kali, Rise Up" That was a very powerful beginning to an amazing puja which included the chanting of Amma's 108 Names followed by the full Archana (1,000 Names of the Divine Mother). There were a few bhajans as well. I was quite high by the end of it and just retreated directly to my room for the night.
I am finally feeling like I am making a bit of progress with my Malayalam classes. I did in fact study and re-wrote all of the alphabet (consonants, double consonants and vowels) as well as a good portion of the words that I have learned so far. I am writing them out in Malayalam and then in Punjabi script (as I know the proper way to pronounce them that way) as well as English transliteration (as best as possible) and their definitions. Slowly but surely this vocabulary will start to sink in the more that I write them out.
I have a Darshan token for today, but quite a late one which is completely fine by me. I have also asked Nath (a westerner who sings with the Western Group) if I could sing one bhajan for Amma sometime. He said that there are a lot of people in their group who wish to sing for Her, but if I come tonight at about 5:30pm or so, they would allow me to sing one bhajan for Amma. What a blessing this is to be able to sing for Her here at the Kali Temple where She is receiving everyone in Her Infinite Loving Embrace! The energy of the Kali Temple is so powerful to begin with let alone adding Amma giving Darshan to the mix. Now the challenge is, which bhajan do I offer Her today? I seem to gravitate toward "Amritanandamayi Jai Jai" but it's a slower bhajan so then I think one of the faster ones like "Amma Baramma" or "Shakti De Bhakti De" or "Jai Ambe Jagadambe". I know that Amma will ultimately make the decision for me as I am pretty good to go on any of these bhajans that are coming to me to offer to Her this evening (if it happens). I say "(if it happens)" because I am all too familiar with the leelas (plays/games) that Amma plays with us when it comes to bhajans and offering Her bhajans. It is a real test in detachment.
I need to go and pick up some clothes that I had made at Amma's Tailor Shop on the other side of the backwaters in Vallikavu before it gets too late.
I shall write more later tonight after my Darshan.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah.
So...it's 6:25pm here and I am now noticing why it is that Amma has to shower everyone with infinite love and show us Kali every so often. The ego that surrounds Her is overwhelming. Kali's main goal is to slash the ego with Her swords and wear the skulls around Her neck of those whose ego is so strong.
The bhajan leela prevades. I arrived in the Kali Temple at 5:30pm to be told that the time alotted to the "Westerner's Group" was cut and they only have time for 4 bhajans.
I am now back in my room after rushing from the tailor shop on the other side of the backwaters and doing some laundry to get the Temple in time for 5:30pm. I think that I will just sing some bhajans here in my room at my alter to Amma as I know that She will hear them. As She said in Her response to the question in yesterday's Q&A; one who puts the teaching to practise will be remembered by the Master not the one who's always physically close.
I have a Darshan token for "end of day" whatever that means. I don't actually know what time Darshan will go until tonight. It seemed that only the Indians were still in the Darshan line. She hasn't started with the Westerners as yet.
Even if I miss Darshan today due to playing the harmonium and singing my heart out...well, that will be fine too. It's ALL Amma's Grace that I can even be here at Amritapuri and witness all that is going on around me and and be in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state that I am in now. It's wonderful to be in Amma's embrace, but I also don't want to be greedy and/or selfish about it.
Tomorrow is a BIG day for me too. I have the Rahu-Ketu Puja at 5am and then the Shiva-Shakti Puja at 6pm. I will also have my Malayalam class at 1pm and studying to do so I don't want to be up too late tonight and miss any of these events. It's important that I be fully alert and present at the Pujas tomorrow so that I will know what is going to be done for me once a year when I send the donation to have these Pujas done on my behalf (as per the vedic astrologer's recommendation).
One moment at a time...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
Last night's Kali/Karthika Puja was REALLY powerful. I had a front and center seat in the Kalari to witness the Puja and take lots of pictures. I was directly in front of the door to the inner-Kalari which was open and there was a very beautiful Amma doll dressed in a royal purple sari (my favourite colour if some of you didn't know that already). I sat there while Amma was singing bhajans in the main hall as I didn't feel like being in the big hustle and bustle of the main hall crowds after the bhajans. The Puja was to begin at 8pm and usually that's when they start Aarti to Amma so I also didn't want to leave at that point. I could hear Amma singing Her heart out from the Kalari anyhow so it felt like being right there in the hall with Her. The last bhajan that She sang which was very high energy was Jago Ma Kali Jago Jago. This means "Rise Up Mother Kali, Rise Up" That was a very powerful beginning to an amazing puja which included the chanting of Amma's 108 Names followed by the full Archana (1,000 Names of the Divine Mother). There were a few bhajans as well. I was quite high by the end of it and just retreated directly to my room for the night.
I am finally feeling like I am making a bit of progress with my Malayalam classes. I did in fact study and re-wrote all of the alphabet (consonants, double consonants and vowels) as well as a good portion of the words that I have learned so far. I am writing them out in Malayalam and then in Punjabi script (as I know the proper way to pronounce them that way) as well as English transliteration (as best as possible) and their definitions. Slowly but surely this vocabulary will start to sink in the more that I write them out.
I have a Darshan token for today, but quite a late one which is completely fine by me. I have also asked Nath (a westerner who sings with the Western Group) if I could sing one bhajan for Amma sometime. He said that there are a lot of people in their group who wish to sing for Her, but if I come tonight at about 5:30pm or so, they would allow me to sing one bhajan for Amma. What a blessing this is to be able to sing for Her here at the Kali Temple where She is receiving everyone in Her Infinite Loving Embrace! The energy of the Kali Temple is so powerful to begin with let alone adding Amma giving Darshan to the mix. Now the challenge is, which bhajan do I offer Her today? I seem to gravitate toward "Amritanandamayi Jai Jai" but it's a slower bhajan so then I think one of the faster ones like "Amma Baramma" or "Shakti De Bhakti De" or "Jai Ambe Jagadambe". I know that Amma will ultimately make the decision for me as I am pretty good to go on any of these bhajans that are coming to me to offer to Her this evening (if it happens). I say "(if it happens)" because I am all too familiar with the leelas (plays/games) that Amma plays with us when it comes to bhajans and offering Her bhajans. It is a real test in detachment.
I need to go and pick up some clothes that I had made at Amma's Tailor Shop on the other side of the backwaters in Vallikavu before it gets too late.
I shall write more later tonight after my Darshan.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah.
So...it's 6:25pm here and I am now noticing why it is that Amma has to shower everyone with infinite love and show us Kali every so often. The ego that surrounds Her is overwhelming. Kali's main goal is to slash the ego with Her swords and wear the skulls around Her neck of those whose ego is so strong.
The bhajan leela prevades. I arrived in the Kali Temple at 5:30pm to be told that the time alotted to the "Westerner's Group" was cut and they only have time for 4 bhajans.
I am now back in my room after rushing from the tailor shop on the other side of the backwaters and doing some laundry to get the Temple in time for 5:30pm. I think that I will just sing some bhajans here in my room at my alter to Amma as I know that She will hear them. As She said in Her response to the question in yesterday's Q&A; one who puts the teaching to practise will be remembered by the Master not the one who's always physically close.
I have a Darshan token for "end of day" whatever that means. I don't actually know what time Darshan will go until tonight. It seemed that only the Indians were still in the Darshan line. She hasn't started with the Westerners as yet.
Even if I miss Darshan today due to playing the harmonium and singing my heart out...well, that will be fine too. It's ALL Amma's Grace that I can even be here at Amritapuri and witness all that is going on around me and and be in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state that I am in now. It's wonderful to be in Amma's embrace, but I also don't want to be greedy and/or selfish about it.
Tomorrow is a BIG day for me too. I have the Rahu-Ketu Puja at 5am and then the Shiva-Shakti Puja at 6pm. I will also have my Malayalam class at 1pm and studying to do so I don't want to be up too late tonight and miss any of these events. It's important that I be fully alert and present at the Pujas tomorrow so that I will know what is going to be done for me once a year when I send the donation to have these Pujas done on my behalf (as per the vedic astrologer's recommendation).
One moment at a time...
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
My New Favourite Day in the Schedule!!!
March 3, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I don't think I need to constantly state that my day started with the breakfast cashier seva. That's a given now.
I will however say, that I think Tuesdays are my new "favourite" day in the Ashram schedule! The Questions & Answer period with Amma is very special. The questions seem to be a lot more intelligent here at the Ashram compared to the questions that get posed in the West on tour.
Today, I was seated about 5 people away from Amma and it was really beautiful to watch Her. Once She had finished giving the answer in Malayalam and while it was being translated to English, She was playing with the 5 or 6 children that were sitting right in front of Her peetham (platform). She was making little sculptures with playdough and putting playdough bindis on each of the children's foreheads. She started drawing flowers with pencil crayons in an art pad. It was all really beautiful to witness. She became a total child with the children.
The questions that was posed today was:
"How can one engage in God when one works in a job that doesn't allow much focus on God? When will I be able to see God if I am unable to focus on God more often due to my job restrictions?"
Some of the highlights of Amma's (lengthy) response were:
"One who ALWAYS thinks of God becomes the devotee and one who prays to God reaches His abode." This quote was from Lord Krishna from the Bhagavat Gita.
Amma elaborated by saying: "ALL thoughts flow and become prayer so there's no difference between thought and prayer if the thoughts are pure and the intention is to reach God."
"God is not confined to just one thing or form. There is no God sitting up in the heavens on a gold throne. Go beyond ALL forms and become one with the All-Prevading Consciousness which is formless."
"Once you realize that I am not the Karta (doer) and I am not the Bhugta (receiver) then you loose the ego. God is the STRENGTH behind ALL our actions. This realization allows us to transcend the ego."
"One cannot even move a finger without the power of God behind the movement. It is by the grace and power of God that one can close his mouth after yawning. If God's power was not there, then the person's mouth would just remain open."
"We are all just instruments. Everyone is just a form of the Supreme Consciousness. All your actions should become an offering to God. When there is a strong doership (I did it) then the offering becomes a war."
Amma related a story from the Shiva Purana about a monk who performed a Fire Ceremony but took a lot of credit for it and expected to be praised for the wonderful ceremony. This became a war and the beauty of the fire ceremony was lost because the ego leared its ugly head and came in the way of the pureness of one's actions being controlled by God and therefore realizing that the beauty of this fire ceremony was not due to the monk, rather it was due to God's power behind the actions of the monk.
"It's more important to put the teachings to practise rather than always wanting to be physically close to the Master. It is that devotee that will be remembered by the Master." So many of us fight to get the closest seat to Amma or to be able to do the sevas that put us right in Her view, but in fact it's the ones that are out of sight that Amma remembers the most.
"To serve and love people you automatically have God on your "list". God doesn't carry a "list", but by serving others, you serve God and therefore remember God on a constant basis."
"We get merrits (punya) by purchasing things from Amma's shops because the money goes to all of Her charitable causes. It is better to buy things from Her shops because more than just one person benefits from that purchase. The purchaser benefits by getting the thing that he/she wants, and then so many less fortunate ones benefit from the monies raised through the sale of that item."
"Going beyond the "I" is the best way to do seva. Doing seva this way will allow us to reach God."
Amma related a story from Gautum Buddha. A monk visited a woman who did not believe in these spiritual things. The monk put his hand out to her and she spat in it. The monk responded "This is for me. Now what will you offer the world?" This illustrates that the monk had transcended his ego and was only looking to serve humanity with love. He did not get angry at the woman for spitting in his hand, rather he accepted that as an offering to him.
One really cute thing happened just before Amma concluded the Satsang with a bhajan. While the Brahmachari was still translating that last portion of Amma's response to the question, Amma was playing with the children and the playdough. She looked over Her shoulder and noticed a devotee (brahmachari/renunciate) was sitting near Her who had his eyes closed. To anyone of us, he would appear to be in meditation, but Amma knew that he was in fact sleeping and picked up her face cloth and threw it at him with perfect aim. This all happened very quickly. Amma was going to throw something else at him too, but when She turned around for the second time with the other item in Her hands, She noticed that he had awoken and was sorry that he had fallen asleep. He had his hands clasped at his heart and Amma placed the item down and motioned to him to do 10 namaskarams (standing and turning on the spot with hands clasped at heart centre offering prayers to everyone and every direction). He did this and sat back down.
It was quite humourous to watch this interaction with Amma and Her child. She did not even watch him perform these namaskarams. She continued playing with the children in front of Her.
Another story was shared when they were setting up the food lines (as Amma serves everyone lunch on Tuesdays after Satsang). There is a man with some kind of a mental illness here on the Ashram compound. He has a very large belly and his name is Raju. Once when Amma was travelling outside of India, Raju was walking around aimlessly (as he often does) on the Ashram compound and he was saying that his biological mother has no time for him and now even his Amriteshwari Amma did not have time for him either. He was contemplating taking his life as he felt that there was nothing left to live for if his Divine Mother doesn't pay attention to him. In rebellion, he went over the backwaters and went to a restaurant and ate mutton one day.
While Amma was at one of the programs in the West, She specifically asked to see the live feed computer systems which transmit live feed through Amrita TV to India. Amma looked into the camera and started waving and calling for Her Raju - Her Mutton Raju. Amma knows ALL that is happening. She does not need to be physically present in order to know what our actions are.
What a Satsang! I really loved it a lot.
Now I am needing to study my Malayalam before the Kali Puja in the Kalari at 8pm. I need to be there on time to get a good seat as I am to take pictures of the puja. This Kali Puja is for purification.
I shall write more a little later after more experiences are had.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah...
I don't think I need to constantly state that my day started with the breakfast cashier seva. That's a given now.
I will however say, that I think Tuesdays are my new "favourite" day in the Ashram schedule! The Questions & Answer period with Amma is very special. The questions seem to be a lot more intelligent here at the Ashram compared to the questions that get posed in the West on tour.
Today, I was seated about 5 people away from Amma and it was really beautiful to watch Her. Once She had finished giving the answer in Malayalam and while it was being translated to English, She was playing with the 5 or 6 children that were sitting right in front of Her peetham (platform). She was making little sculptures with playdough and putting playdough bindis on each of the children's foreheads. She started drawing flowers with pencil crayons in an art pad. It was all really beautiful to witness. She became a total child with the children.
The questions that was posed today was:
"How can one engage in God when one works in a job that doesn't allow much focus on God? When will I be able to see God if I am unable to focus on God more often due to my job restrictions?"
Some of the highlights of Amma's (lengthy) response were:
"One who ALWAYS thinks of God becomes the devotee and one who prays to God reaches His abode." This quote was from Lord Krishna from the Bhagavat Gita.
Amma elaborated by saying: "ALL thoughts flow and become prayer so there's no difference between thought and prayer if the thoughts are pure and the intention is to reach God."
"God is not confined to just one thing or form. There is no God sitting up in the heavens on a gold throne. Go beyond ALL forms and become one with the All-Prevading Consciousness which is formless."
"Once you realize that I am not the Karta (doer) and I am not the Bhugta (receiver) then you loose the ego. God is the STRENGTH behind ALL our actions. This realization allows us to transcend the ego."
"One cannot even move a finger without the power of God behind the movement. It is by the grace and power of God that one can close his mouth after yawning. If God's power was not there, then the person's mouth would just remain open."
"We are all just instruments. Everyone is just a form of the Supreme Consciousness. All your actions should become an offering to God. When there is a strong doership (I did it) then the offering becomes a war."
Amma related a story from the Shiva Purana about a monk who performed a Fire Ceremony but took a lot of credit for it and expected to be praised for the wonderful ceremony. This became a war and the beauty of the fire ceremony was lost because the ego leared its ugly head and came in the way of the pureness of one's actions being controlled by God and therefore realizing that the beauty of this fire ceremony was not due to the monk, rather it was due to God's power behind the actions of the monk.
"It's more important to put the teachings to practise rather than always wanting to be physically close to the Master. It is that devotee that will be remembered by the Master." So many of us fight to get the closest seat to Amma or to be able to do the sevas that put us right in Her view, but in fact it's the ones that are out of sight that Amma remembers the most.
"To serve and love people you automatically have God on your "list". God doesn't carry a "list", but by serving others, you serve God and therefore remember God on a constant basis."
"We get merrits (punya) by purchasing things from Amma's shops because the money goes to all of Her charitable causes. It is better to buy things from Her shops because more than just one person benefits from that purchase. The purchaser benefits by getting the thing that he/she wants, and then so many less fortunate ones benefit from the monies raised through the sale of that item."
"Going beyond the "I" is the best way to do seva. Doing seva this way will allow us to reach God."
Amma related a story from Gautum Buddha. A monk visited a woman who did not believe in these spiritual things. The monk put his hand out to her and she spat in it. The monk responded "This is for me. Now what will you offer the world?" This illustrates that the monk had transcended his ego and was only looking to serve humanity with love. He did not get angry at the woman for spitting in his hand, rather he accepted that as an offering to him.
One really cute thing happened just before Amma concluded the Satsang with a bhajan. While the Brahmachari was still translating that last portion of Amma's response to the question, Amma was playing with the children and the playdough. She looked over Her shoulder and noticed a devotee (brahmachari/renunciate) was sitting near Her who had his eyes closed. To anyone of us, he would appear to be in meditation, but Amma knew that he was in fact sleeping and picked up her face cloth and threw it at him with perfect aim. This all happened very quickly. Amma was going to throw something else at him too, but when She turned around for the second time with the other item in Her hands, She noticed that he had awoken and was sorry that he had fallen asleep. He had his hands clasped at his heart and Amma placed the item down and motioned to him to do 10 namaskarams (standing and turning on the spot with hands clasped at heart centre offering prayers to everyone and every direction). He did this and sat back down.
It was quite humourous to watch this interaction with Amma and Her child. She did not even watch him perform these namaskarams. She continued playing with the children in front of Her.
Another story was shared when they were setting up the food lines (as Amma serves everyone lunch on Tuesdays after Satsang). There is a man with some kind of a mental illness here on the Ashram compound. He has a very large belly and his name is Raju. Once when Amma was travelling outside of India, Raju was walking around aimlessly (as he often does) on the Ashram compound and he was saying that his biological mother has no time for him and now even his Amriteshwari Amma did not have time for him either. He was contemplating taking his life as he felt that there was nothing left to live for if his Divine Mother doesn't pay attention to him. In rebellion, he went over the backwaters and went to a restaurant and ate mutton one day.
While Amma was at one of the programs in the West, She specifically asked to see the live feed computer systems which transmit live feed through Amrita TV to India. Amma looked into the camera and started waving and calling for Her Raju - Her Mutton Raju. Amma knows ALL that is happening. She does not need to be physically present in order to know what our actions are.
What a Satsang! I really loved it a lot.
Now I am needing to study my Malayalam before the Kali Puja in the Kalari at 8pm. I need to be there on time to get a good seat as I am to take pictures of the puja. This Kali Puja is for purification.
I shall write more a little later after more experiences are had.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Monday, March 2, 2009
Fatigue and Perseverance
March 2, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
Today has been a day full of fatigue and wierdness that I am trying to persevere through. I did not get up for Archana this morning as Amma went on giving Darshan until 12 midnight last night. I was planned to go to bed at about 11:00pm as usual, but then I spoke with Jim on the phone and some of the stuff that we discussed (not related to either of us really) affected me on a level that required me to go and sit for some more time and meditate on the Divine Mother as She continued to shower Her infinite love on all.
I am glad I did this as I was able to catch another Pada Puja which was shown on the big screens to the sides of the main stage as Darshan was held in the Main Hall last night. Being Sunday, the crowds come in droves, so the Main Hall is the best venue for that many people and for the musicians to feel comfortable and for everyone to be able to bask in the energy of the Divine Mother.
I ended up going to bed at 12 midnight and then was not able to rise for Archana. My dreams were wierd and upsetting. I think this was provoked by the information discussed in my conversation with Jim earlier in the night.
It's a little cooler here today (Thank God) and I did my morning breakfast cashiering seva and then came back to the room and sat in the fan while I chatted with a few friends. The issues of the conversation last night were cleared up in one of the conversations and I am feeling a lot better about it now.
All of a sudden, it was lunch time and then I have Malayalam class...OMG...I am not ready, I have not studied at all. What am I gonna do??? I don't want to go to class and be reprimanded by the teacher. But she can see through all of it and she will instantly know that I have not done my homework. I had Sunday off from class too so there is really no excuse. I will have Tuesday off as well and so I have to study before class on Wednesday.
I ate the lunch in the Indian line today (which comes with the rent). It was quite good. Now I am quite fatigued and I just don't know why. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe is the healing work that I had done yesterday. Maybe it's being in such a highly energetically charged environment. I have no idea.
The Ashram schedule is:
Monday - no Darshan
Tuesday - Amma meditates, Q&A and serves lunch
Wednesday - Darshan
Thursday - Darshan
Friday - no Darshan (sometimes Amma might come out and give a Satsang)
Saturday - Darshan
Sunday - Darshan
Then it's anyones guess as to when Amma will come out to sing bhajans (on the non-Darshan days).
I am beginning to get this schedule around Amma here at the Ashram.
I am starting to fall asleep while I type these words so I should go and will write some more again soon. I feel the need to listen to what my body is telling me and honour it.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
Today has been a day full of fatigue and wierdness that I am trying to persevere through. I did not get up for Archana this morning as Amma went on giving Darshan until 12 midnight last night. I was planned to go to bed at about 11:00pm as usual, but then I spoke with Jim on the phone and some of the stuff that we discussed (not related to either of us really) affected me on a level that required me to go and sit for some more time and meditate on the Divine Mother as She continued to shower Her infinite love on all.
I am glad I did this as I was able to catch another Pada Puja which was shown on the big screens to the sides of the main stage as Darshan was held in the Main Hall last night. Being Sunday, the crowds come in droves, so the Main Hall is the best venue for that many people and for the musicians to feel comfortable and for everyone to be able to bask in the energy of the Divine Mother.
I ended up going to bed at 12 midnight and then was not able to rise for Archana. My dreams were wierd and upsetting. I think this was provoked by the information discussed in my conversation with Jim earlier in the night.
It's a little cooler here today (Thank God) and I did my morning breakfast cashiering seva and then came back to the room and sat in the fan while I chatted with a few friends. The issues of the conversation last night were cleared up in one of the conversations and I am feeling a lot better about it now.
All of a sudden, it was lunch time and then I have Malayalam class...OMG...I am not ready, I have not studied at all. What am I gonna do??? I don't want to go to class and be reprimanded by the teacher. But she can see through all of it and she will instantly know that I have not done my homework. I had Sunday off from class too so there is really no excuse. I will have Tuesday off as well and so I have to study before class on Wednesday.
I ate the lunch in the Indian line today (which comes with the rent). It was quite good. Now I am quite fatigued and I just don't know why. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe is the healing work that I had done yesterday. Maybe it's being in such a highly energetically charged environment. I have no idea.
The Ashram schedule is:
Monday - no Darshan
Tuesday - Amma meditates, Q&A and serves lunch
Wednesday - Darshan
Thursday - Darshan
Friday - no Darshan (sometimes Amma might come out and give a Satsang)
Saturday - Darshan
Sunday - Darshan
Then it's anyones guess as to when Amma will come out to sing bhajans (on the non-Darshan days).
I am beginning to get this schedule around Amma here at the Ashram.
I am starting to fall asleep while I type these words so I should go and will write some more again soon. I feel the need to listen to what my body is telling me and honour it.
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Love and Playfulness in the Sweetest Form
March 1, 2009
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
What a day this has turned out to be. I was never expecting to travel across the backwaters to have a semi-private tour of the Ayurvedic College and Hospital followed by a special Darshan with Lakshmi (the female elephant) AND Ram (the male elephant).
I had the great good fortune to feed Lakshmi some bananas and she danced and danced in joy and then I was allowed to climb up on her back and there are pictures to prove it. The skin of an elephant is quite course, sort of similar to dry human skin. What a trip that was to spend time with these gorgeous animals who are treated like Gods and blessed by Amma.
Ram is a little more fierce so we were only able to feed him and take a few pictures quickly with him. Somehow, they really resemble (energetically) that of the male and female human. Males are more sun energy (projective) and females are more moon energy (reflective). This was certainly the case with Ram and Lakshmi! Ram was very sweet and devoted in his own right. He would respond with a loud noise when we wished him an "Aum Namah Shivaya Ram"
God, I am so blessed. I don't know anywhere else in the world that I would be able to have these kinds of experiences. It is so hot here that when just a simple breeze comes through it's like a blessing from God. The things we usually take for granted are becoming more and more clear to me here in Amritapuri and it's allowing me to have more appreciation for the "small" things in life - like a fresh breeze of air to freshen us up in the sweaty, scorching heat of South India.
I have been invited to come to the Kali Puja (for purification) on Tuesday from 8:00 - 9:30pm and take pictures of that puja. All pujas and homas are held in the Kalari and for the most part picture taking is frowned upon here at the Ashram, but you can get a few in here and there (if you are discrete about it). In this case, I have been invited by Gireesh, the Head Priest (Pujari) and he is allowing me to take pictures of the entire puja and the inside of the Kalari. I wish that I had a camcorder with me as that would be a great thing to capture. Pratechas was able to capture a few minutes of the Shivaratri Puja and bhajans on his camcorder (which I now have on my computer as I burned copies for Gireesh). When I watch these little clips, they are just so powerful. The energy of those ceremonies is so tangible in these short clips that I wish I could capture the same with the Kali Puja. No doubt it's gonna be a really powerful one too!
Amma is still going strong right now as I sit here in my room with the small plug-in fan on me and type my blog. It's 7pm here on Sunday night. She started giving Darshan (as per my previous post, at 11am). There is speculation that She will go on until about midnight or so tonight.
I am feeling a bit hungry and thinking that it might be time to consider going down to the Canteen for some dinner. I have spent a lot of time out in the sun today which is quite draining so regular food and hydration is a very important aspect of being in India.
I leave you with thoughts of dancing elephants, chanting Aum Namah Shivaya (in their own words) and making offerings to these glorious beings on this earth.
Aum Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
Aum Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
Aum Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
(May All the Being in All the worlds be happy and at peace)
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah!
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,
What a day this has turned out to be. I was never expecting to travel across the backwaters to have a semi-private tour of the Ayurvedic College and Hospital followed by a special Darshan with Lakshmi (the female elephant) AND Ram (the male elephant).
I had the great good fortune to feed Lakshmi some bananas and she danced and danced in joy and then I was allowed to climb up on her back and there are pictures to prove it. The skin of an elephant is quite course, sort of similar to dry human skin. What a trip that was to spend time with these gorgeous animals who are treated like Gods and blessed by Amma.
Ram is a little more fierce so we were only able to feed him and take a few pictures quickly with him. Somehow, they really resemble (energetically) that of the male and female human. Males are more sun energy (projective) and females are more moon energy (reflective). This was certainly the case with Ram and Lakshmi! Ram was very sweet and devoted in his own right. He would respond with a loud noise when we wished him an "Aum Namah Shivaya Ram"
God, I am so blessed. I don't know anywhere else in the world that I would be able to have these kinds of experiences. It is so hot here that when just a simple breeze comes through it's like a blessing from God. The things we usually take for granted are becoming more and more clear to me here in Amritapuri and it's allowing me to have more appreciation for the "small" things in life - like a fresh breeze of air to freshen us up in the sweaty, scorching heat of South India.
I have been invited to come to the Kali Puja (for purification) on Tuesday from 8:00 - 9:30pm and take pictures of that puja. All pujas and homas are held in the Kalari and for the most part picture taking is frowned upon here at the Ashram, but you can get a few in here and there (if you are discrete about it). In this case, I have been invited by Gireesh, the Head Priest (Pujari) and he is allowing me to take pictures of the entire puja and the inside of the Kalari. I wish that I had a camcorder with me as that would be a great thing to capture. Pratechas was able to capture a few minutes of the Shivaratri Puja and bhajans on his camcorder (which I now have on my computer as I burned copies for Gireesh). When I watch these little clips, they are just so powerful. The energy of those ceremonies is so tangible in these short clips that I wish I could capture the same with the Kali Puja. No doubt it's gonna be a really powerful one too!
Amma is still going strong right now as I sit here in my room with the small plug-in fan on me and type my blog. It's 7pm here on Sunday night. She started giving Darshan (as per my previous post, at 11am). There is speculation that She will go on until about midnight or so tonight.
I am feeling a bit hungry and thinking that it might be time to consider going down to the Canteen for some dinner. I have spent a lot of time out in the sun today which is quite draining so regular food and hydration is a very important aspect of being in India.
I leave you with thoughts of dancing elephants, chanting Aum Namah Shivaya (in their own words) and making offerings to these glorious beings on this earth.
Aum Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
Aum Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
Aum Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
(May All the Being in All the worlds be happy and at peace)
Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah!
Healing the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Bodies
March 1, 2009
Aum Amritshwaryai Namah,
As usual, my intention was to arise in time for Archana and then do my breakfast cashiering seva in the Western Canteen. Unfortunatly, the former is not happening for me as yet. I don't know what it is, but I seem to be very tired here in the early mornings. Maybe it's the heat?!?! I am putting out into the Universe and to Amma, my sincere desire to arise at 4am each morning for Archana (especially since it's something I was told I must do in my vedic astrology reading yesterday).
This morning I had a wonderful "hands-off" healing for 1 hour from a wonderful and (really attractive) Austrian named Stefan (we have grown to be good friends in my time here thusfar). He asked Amma if he could get Her blessings in offering these healing sessions to people and She agreed and so they set up a room and a sign-up sheet for him in the Kali Temple.
This was one of the most powerful energy healing sessions that I think I have ever had. He did not touch my body once, but the few things that were ailing me seem to have diminished considerably.
Following my healing session, I went down to the Main Hall where Amma had started giving Darshan just as my healing session began. I could hear the Guru Stotram being recited (which they do during the Pada Puja at the beginning of Darshan programs here) just as I laid down for my healing. When I got to the Main Hall, they were between bhajans and the hall is quite full as today is Sunday and many Indians have come to receive Darshan. Once the musicians started singing, I realized that the bhajan that they were singing was actually a shabad (hymn) out of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh Scriptures) - Hey Govind, Hey Gopal, Hey Dayal Laal.
This was such a deep and profound experience for me as I have not heard any of the Sikh Scriptures (which are all shabads/bhajans/hymns) being sung in the context of Amma programs or Satsangs. It really spoke to me deeply as I am a Sikh by birth and feel very connected to Sikh Dharma while being completely and utterly devoted to my Amma Guru Maharani.
This was just so very healing for me to hear a Sikh Shabad being sung to Amma while She offers Darshan to the masses.
I shall write more soon. I want to go to Swamini Amma to find out if she as any emeralds as that is what I was told to wear by the vedic astrologer.
Aum Amriteshewaryai Namah
Aum Amritshwaryai Namah,
As usual, my intention was to arise in time for Archana and then do my breakfast cashiering seva in the Western Canteen. Unfortunatly, the former is not happening for me as yet. I don't know what it is, but I seem to be very tired here in the early mornings. Maybe it's the heat?!?! I am putting out into the Universe and to Amma, my sincere desire to arise at 4am each morning for Archana (especially since it's something I was told I must do in my vedic astrology reading yesterday).
This morning I had a wonderful "hands-off" healing for 1 hour from a wonderful and (really attractive) Austrian named Stefan (we have grown to be good friends in my time here thusfar). He asked Amma if he could get Her blessings in offering these healing sessions to people and She agreed and so they set up a room and a sign-up sheet for him in the Kali Temple.
This was one of the most powerful energy healing sessions that I think I have ever had. He did not touch my body once, but the few things that were ailing me seem to have diminished considerably.
Following my healing session, I went down to the Main Hall where Amma had started giving Darshan just as my healing session began. I could hear the Guru Stotram being recited (which they do during the Pada Puja at the beginning of Darshan programs here) just as I laid down for my healing. When I got to the Main Hall, they were between bhajans and the hall is quite full as today is Sunday and many Indians have come to receive Darshan. Once the musicians started singing, I realized that the bhajan that they were singing was actually a shabad (hymn) out of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh Scriptures) - Hey Govind, Hey Gopal, Hey Dayal Laal.
This was such a deep and profound experience for me as I have not heard any of the Sikh Scriptures (which are all shabads/bhajans/hymns) being sung in the context of Amma programs or Satsangs. It really spoke to me deeply as I am a Sikh by birth and feel very connected to Sikh Dharma while being completely and utterly devoted to my Amma Guru Maharani.
This was just so very healing for me to hear a Sikh Shabad being sung to Amma while She offers Darshan to the masses.
I shall write more soon. I want to go to Swamini Amma to find out if she as any emeralds as that is what I was told to wear by the vedic astrologer.
Aum Amriteshewaryai Namah
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