Fatigue and Perseverance

March 2, 2009

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah,

Today has been a day full of fatigue and wierdness that I am trying to persevere through. I did not get up for Archana this morning as Amma went on giving Darshan until 12 midnight last night. I was planned to go to bed at about 11:00pm as usual, but then I spoke with Jim on the phone and some of the stuff that we discussed (not related to either of us really) affected me on a level that required me to go and sit for some more time and meditate on the Divine Mother as She continued to shower Her infinite love on all.

I am glad I did this as I was able to catch another Pada Puja which was shown on the big screens to the sides of the main stage as Darshan was held in the Main Hall last night. Being Sunday, the crowds come in droves, so the Main Hall is the best venue for that many people and for the musicians to feel comfortable and for everyone to be able to bask in the energy of the Divine Mother.

I ended up going to bed at 12 midnight and then was not able to rise for Archana. My dreams were wierd and upsetting. I think this was provoked by the information discussed in my conversation with Jim earlier in the night.

It's a little cooler here today (Thank God) and I did my morning breakfast cashiering seva and then came back to the room and sat in the fan while I chatted with a few friends. The issues of the conversation last night were cleared up in one of the conversations and I am feeling a lot better about it now.

All of a sudden, it was lunch time and then I have Malayalam class...OMG...I am not ready, I have not studied at all. What am I gonna do??? I don't want to go to class and be reprimanded by the teacher. But she can see through all of it and she will instantly know that I have not done my homework. I had Sunday off from class too so there is really no excuse. I will have Tuesday off as well and so I have to study before class on Wednesday.

I ate the lunch in the Indian line today (which comes with the rent). It was quite good. Now I am quite fatigued and I just don't know why. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe is the healing work that I had done yesterday. Maybe it's being in such a highly energetically charged environment. I have no idea.

The Ashram schedule is:

Monday - no Darshan
Tuesday - Amma meditates, Q&A and serves lunch
Wednesday - Darshan
Thursday - Darshan
Friday - no Darshan (sometimes Amma might come out and give a Satsang)
Saturday - Darshan
Sunday - Darshan

Then it's anyones guess as to when Amma will come out to sing bhajans (on the non-Darshan days).

I am beginning to get this schedule around Amma here at the Ashram.

I am starting to fall asleep while I type these words so I should go and will write some more again soon. I feel the need to listen to what my body is telling me and honour it.

Aum Amriteshwaryai Namah